stepmother – Contemplating the divine

The boys were falling like an avalanche

Ya ya baby.

I think she has a choice… maybe she should assert herself more? Take control of her own life (as well as yours, obviously).

Actually, the photo was taken just before this shoot went horribly wrong. She slipped and broke a heel, poor thing. And it wasn’t just a clean break at the base where it joins the sole, either: it splintered at a narrow part of the stem so the pair was a complete write off – one of her favourites too. Oh, and as she slipped, all her weight fell onto the saw for a moment, so there was blood all over that bench and… well, the whole day is not one of her happier memories, let’s just put it like that. She had other pairs of shoes, obviously, but that’s not really the point, is it? They were special.

You know where this wonderful image originated, don’t you? Of course you do.

It’s weird how bulls won’t fold and neatly stack their sex partners’ underwear, like a normal person.

I hope they don’t fall out over the inheritance. Of course, it depends which husband dies first.

Dommes work hard. Mine locked me in a box the other day and gave me an entire 24 hour ignoring session, when I’d only expected three hours, and she didn’t charge me any premium over her usual hourly rates! They’re not as cruel and heartless as the image they mostly like to project, dommes, you know.

Careless talk

Time for a chivalrous gesture.

No regrets. What you never have, you cannot lose.

Oh dear. Let’s hope he’s not too rough with her.

Only a few. She has more.

Many stepdaughters find the arrival of a new parent uncomfortable. Looks like she’s found a way to deal with that discomfort; indeed transfer it to you.

The Garden of Earthly Delights

Obviously, anyone’s bound to feel a bit nervous before having a microchip inserted into their brains, but just ask any man who’s had it done – you’ll hear nothing but gratitude.

They’re quite smart, those ‘rate my date’ sites. I tried sneakily entering a positive review about myself and I was automatically redirected to ratemywank.com. Where I built up quite a profile, actually, until my SO stopped all that nonsense.

One positive thing is that he has discovered he and his father-in-law have a lot in common, so that’s nice.

Mmm… edgy. Let’s hope she doesn’t get too drunk this time.

Despite the general female-led tendency of this blog, I want to make clear that I think it is OK to have disagreements between husband and wife in marriage. I disagreed with my SO once, very early on in our life together, and although it was painful – very painful, actually – I think we both found it to be a learning experience that made our marriage stronger.

Then someone falls in love… and someone’s beaten up

Actually, those things happened the other way around, but still… best day of my life.

No, it’s not medical malpractice. His daughters, as the responsible carers, have to approve any unusual ‘treatments’ he receives. And they have done.

That reminds me: you know those novelty jelly beans, where some taste awful? Modelled on Harry Potter, obviously. Well, I tried one that was supposed to be slug flavour the other day, and do you know, it was nothing like it? How can they get away with stuff like that?

It wasn’t me. I never.

Actually, there probably are some other things that would work. She just hasn’t tried them all yet.

I thought the air hostesses were supposed to look after unaccompanied males until they’ve got through Immigration?

Cower pose

Actually, little wifey has a spare and could easily be persuaded that medical monitoring at work is important too.

Remember: she loves you and would never want to cause you any pain. But sometimes she feels she has to.

Nicer, but dimmer.

It’s quite a slow way to communicate. But effective.

She believes equally in strict maternal and uxorial discipline.

Violent sexual imagery

… and I just want to check none of you would be terribly offended by that?*

I think he might have forgotten, actually. Hope they’re not too upset.

I’d like to hear the good news, very, very slowly?

As submissive as she wants, in practice.

I don’t know what I was thinking…

Men have too much stuff. Most men do, anyway. I have an iron and a mop I’m very proud of… otherwise pretty minimalist.

* Warning: American or other readers familiar with Peter Capaldi only as the twelth doctor might find themselves disturbed by this. Possibly even ‘extremely miffed’.