Taylorism – Contemplating the divine

Hold me, squeeze me

Just a little extra, because it’s not really a proper post with captions or anything. But some people think this blog exaggerates the degree to which women in the so-called ‘real world’ enjoy inflicting pain and humiliation on males. But, as is so often the case, ‘some people’ are wrong. One thing I’ve noticed in recent years is that more and more women are making the internationally-recognised ball-crushing gesture, in which the hands come together and simultaneously squeeze and separate the testicles in the scrotum. A clearer display of fierce female empowerment, it would be hard to imagine, and it’s everywhere. Once you see it, you can’t stop seeing it or wincing.

A few examples.

Never forget you’re not going to have a choice…

…and of course…

UPDATE! A few entirely made-up people I’ve discussed this with have suggested that this self-evidently female supremacist gesture is actually a heart shape. A heart shape. Right. Here’s the goddess of the gesture herself… let’s watch the development, shall we?

[Sarcasm alert] Yeah, right… I think we can all agree that Ms Swift is making a lovey dovey little heart gesture, there, hmm? You just keep thinking that, boy. After all, women just like romance and flowers and kittens and stuff… I’m sure everything’s going to be just fine.

Gracious, devilish, mythical ladies

Some women are very hard to satisfy. Others impossible. It’s about 50/50 between the two, in my experience.

Don’t worry, she’ll look after you and provide for all your needs.

You may kiss the floor a respectful distance away from the bride.

Don’t be too disappointed if his humiliation ideas are a bit basic – he’s new to this. And male, so sophistication isn’t really to be expected.

She is nothing if not consistent. Except when she decides on a whim to be capricious.

He’s right about one thing: it *will* be an experience.

For all womankind

Another science fiction-themed post. Unlike many contemporary works of science fiction, this presents a more optimistic, positive vision of the future of humanity and the universe in which humanity lives. Subhuman male creatures and objects, in contrast, have less to look forward to, but why would anyone object to that?

He’s going to explore his strange new life.

Don’t worry: your new mouth parts are perfectly designed for the things you’re going to be doing.

… or do you just get through a lot of tissue paper and try to make the best of it?

Wow – running into her was a bit of luck. What are the odds? Keep a lookout for murderours androids disguised as Taylor Swift, though, as they’ll be out looking for her.

Don’t worry, she’ll only use her powers for good.

Feminine ferocity

It’s important to think about her needs, not just your own selfish desire not to be in agony.

To be fair, many femdom activities seem unlikely to be compatible with evolutionary success. Chastity, for one.

Oh good. I wonder what it is.

She has testimonials from several hundred eternally unsatisfied clients to prove it.

I’ll go to the end of the line, then.

Miss guided

Remember: it’s only humiliating if you try to cling to any vestige of self-respect.

Although this one would do just fine, obviously.

Yes… it’s very easily done. I do hope she’s careful.

She seems quite new to this: don’t forget to explain the importance of consent.

Swift retribution. Har-de-har.

I’ll get some nuts

Is this femdom? Works for me. But then, like at least 80% of the male British population, I adore Olivia Coleman.

But I’ve only got one – after that thing with Angie last week. Oh… go on then.

It’s actually a grotesque stereotype that gay men molest straight men in public lavatories. Also, most gay men aren’t attracted to guys in little maids’ dresses. So: you’re safe on two counts. But you can have the butt-plug if you want to be sure. Or if she decides it might look funny.

You need to be careful online, though. My SO once took up what She thought was an offer of a fit young 22 year-old guy and She found Herself the owner of this rather unattractive 52 year-old. She was quite cross with him for lying like that, so of course when She later tried to get rid of him , he was badly damaged and She ended up having to send him to landfill. I’m not saying people shouldn’t sell themselves into slavery online, obviously, but they need to take some care, that’s all.

That’ll be two us without a choice in the matter, then. I wonder who does decide these things?

There’s nothing so relaxing as knowing you can scream and thrash hysterically in fear and pain as much as you like. Time to hand over control.