Category: business

When she asks for somethin’, boy, she means it

She’s a maneater (warning: disappointingly SFW)

Wow – pretty lucky I forewarned you by showing you her message, huh? I expect when she got up and walked off, you were just going to follow those shiny boots as they – hey! Where are you going? Didn’t you realise what she intends to… to… ? Oh well.
She takes shopping seriously, although it does irritate her when people focus pedantically on trivial details like the prices of things they’re buying for her.
He’s going to be in even more trouble when she checks back through his browser history and realises what it was he was actually trying to touch on what he assumed to be a touch-sensitive screen. Boys shouldn’t be allowed near computers unless they’re house-trained.
She herself has a medical condition, which makes her extremely intolerant to… well, just extremely intolerant, to be honest.
He meant to say $1.2 billion of course, but he was distracted by the hot-oil enema he was retaining, as he later had to explain to the auditors. On the plus side, when called to provide a sworn witness statement in his trial for negligence, Nanny Edith did say what a sweet little boy he was, although she admitted under cross-examination that he was sometimes careless with his sums and needed his bottom smacked a lot.
Learning Hungarian isn’t easy, but then Ms Palvin wouldn’t be such a goddess were she easy to please, would she?

Of course it’s your fault, darling

You’re male aren’t you? Well then.

Many males object to being secured permanently in this way, but it does reduce the stress of uncertainty, don’t you think? Or of her losing the key.
Now, that is so not true. She’s doing a lot… for me, anyway.
Fortunately, boys these days don’t need maths skills to keep track of their orgasms – women are happy to do that for them and the numbers are never that large anyway.
She’s usually generous with her time; doesn’t wind things up immediately just because the session’s reached its scheduled end-time. But you can wait, right? ‘Course you can.
I’m sure he will. She has many unhappy customers.
That looks like a much better-ordered office than the one I started work in, many many years ago, where I had an embarrassing moment on my first day when I discovered that ‘dress code’ didn’t necessarily imply wearing a dress. I think some places just do these things to catch new joiners out, especially very stupid ones like me.

…but only if she says you can

Don’t worry: she knows how important it is to you, that’s why she wants to think about it for a while.
Naughty boys should be seen and not heard, unless your set-up runs to a subterranean cell equipped with a feeding tube and high-pressure cleaning nozzles, in which case they don’t have to be seen either,

She’s de Lacy…

She believes it’s important to have a relationship with male colleagues based on mutual understanding. Not mutual respect – that only goes one way. But mutual understanding, certainly.
She’s never really fancied findomme, but she might be persuaded to take your money and ignore you if you can make it worth her while.
Whoops! Evidently, I forgot. Would you mind if I throw myself at your feet and plead desperately for mercy?
When she canes, she usually gives out four factorial strokes in each session, but sometimes offers a choice between that and the cube root of thirteen thousand eight hundred and twenty-four.

Supreme authority

Honestly, the sense of entitlement of some men! One little problem and he runs – well, hobbles – straight to her. He doesn’t stop for a moment to think that maybe it’s not the chain that’s the problem, but his attitude.
You’ll have third thoughts.
These absurd DEI initiatives have gone way too far. Boys are actually happier in menial jobs making tea and cleaning shoes. There’ve been, like, studies and stuff.
Certainly always gets – and holds – my attention.
So easily done. Always such a shock when you look up and realise! But this lad’s going to be OK: home safe and sound and the promise of a good hard whipping to help him be more careful next time. He was lucky… there are some cruel ladies out there.
If it was enjoyable they wouldn’t call it ‘hard’ labour, now, would they? Boys can be so stupid. But Barbara knows some educational techniques that work even on males.

No woman is so good or so bad, but that at any moment she is capable of the most diabolical as well as of the most divine

I don’t think she should pander to the male gaze like that – why should she have to go to the trouble of snapping her bra every few months just for his pleasure?
He should have read her FAQs more carefully. OK, they don’t specifically mention beards – or anything to do with facial hair, to be honest – but they are quite clear about being ‘annoying’ and I think even beardy-boys can be expected to read between the lines just a little.
Oooh – sissy maid play? But what shall we iron?
As is usually the case when one has to leave a video call early, it took Trevor a minute or two over his official ‘hard stop’ deadline to extricate himself from the call. But she was very understanding about it. Not forgiving – not in the least – but very understanding.
They say the nervous waiting, wondering what it will be like, is the worst part. But that probably just goes to show that ‘they’ have never been fucked hard enough up the arse, as that is definitely the worst part.
Right now, I’m thinking of little else.

Just do as she says

hmm? So much easier.

Actually, guys with small penises have proportionately more everything. My little finger, for instance, is huge in comparison – a woman remarked upon it, once.
They’re reworking the pay structure too, to make it more discriminatory.
Zoe’s good at games, usually winning on the first move when she plays slaves at chess. She also enjoys playing ‘guess the voltage’.
I expect he’ll come up with some lavish belated gift or other… she can even make some suggestions while she has his full attention like this.
Of course it’s best to wear thick gloves when handling that X stuff as it can irritate the skin. But they’re professionals, they know how to handle things that can be irritating.
She likes to give her clients a ‘happy beginning’ occasionally.

Whipping yarns

Sometimes, the simplest things – and males are very simple – can be the hardest to explain.
Quite right too – how absurd to claim any incidents involved excessive brutality. The level of brutality is always just right.
Working for Mistress is a reward in itself and she’s very generous with her rewards.
She’s covered against accidental breakages too.
She’s a very keen gardener – has boys out there in all weathers planting, potting, pruning or just spending a few hours making the lawn nice and neat with a pair of nail scissors.
Sometimes she’s just not in the mood to tolerate it… oddly enough, the consequences are much the same in both cases.

Bitter sweet hearts

If they haven’t, perhaps she could suggest some.
He’s not. And she’s even arranged for a lovely, bracing shower before he gets home… well, about fifteen minutes before he gets home, actually, to allow time for him to dry off by running around a bit.
All trainers know that rule number one is to make sure you remember the names of each and every one of your group. But rule two says “Except Robert or Rupert or whatever the fuck that idiot’s called”, so that”s OK.
Top tip: if you’re offended at being treated like this and want to emphasise – politely but firmly – that you expect to be treated with the dignity due an adult, I suggest balling up your fists, stamping your feet and screaming hysterically about how unfair it is. I’m sure she’ll react appropriately and start treating you the way you deserve.
Think of it as an investment. In thirty years’ time, lying in a hospital bed on a drip, you’ll be able to think fondly back on this.
Ah, like the days of Covid when we were getting used to all this. We’ve all got our embarassing Zoom stories, I expect – mine involves a funnel gag, a plastic sissy dress and one of the bulls my SO had decided to let into our Covid bubble, but I’ll spare you the details. Bull in a bubble, you ask? Yes, she had to limit herself to just three, which she found very frustrating, poor thing, but I’m proud to say that I was able to help her work through her anger.

Beauty is power; a smile is its sword

The back is mostly devoted to warnings about how ugly the front is. But fortunately it’s quite hard to read through all the welts.
Those early feminist books were groundbreaking, but modern female supremacist thinking, with its emphasis on sexual inequality and the importance of women’s autonomy over their boys’ bodies, has moved on.
Don’t worry, they’ve got plenty of ice.
Their corporate philosophy is that every boy can progress to the absolute limit of his potential, with the right guidance and incentives.
And some sexists think that boys are better at quantitative skills than girls! I’d like to see them beat her at this game.
She doesn’t mind being stopped in the street by admirers. She’s even got a little ‘E’ mini branding iron and is only too happy to heat it up with a lighter, for an autograph.