Thanks be to women

Aw… he’s going to be all bashful and get confused as he tries to stutter out his question, now. But she won’t mind: she’s nice.
My own employer set up a taskforce to evaluate some external dominatrix service providers – we trialled five of them, which was a bit exhausting for me, as the only male on the team. In the end, though, the choice was easy as the cheapest option surprisingly also turned out to be the most painful. It pays to shop around.
So, ermmm, what are you both up to these days? Apart from this, obviously.

A pair of wonderful French dominatrices there: on the right, the talented and beautiful Maîtresse Blanche who has had the dubioius pleasure of inserting various medical things into Servitor and peeing on me, while on the left I believe is la talentueuse et belle Maîtresse Euryale, who probably has much better facilities into which to relieve herself… but I hope some day may yet find a stinking load of raw, untreated Servitor piled up on her doorstep needing humane disposal.

It’s important not to boil them for too long or you can lose the flavour.
It’s nice to have a change of scene but you know what it’s like with holidays… 24 hours after you get home it’s as if you never left.
Give me the real thing any day. I believe Ms Cassie Hunter is on the shortlist to star in the new one: 50 Shades: Black and Blue.

Her gesture, motion, and her smiles

Her wit, her voice my heart beguiles.

You might imagine she’s indifferent to whether you agree or not, but disagreeing with her at this point will actually have quite an effect on what happens next. Just try it and you’ll see.
Find out what you mean to her.
It’s a bit tricky for a subbie, if the word of his goddess is as holy writ but she’s also inclined to say things as a joke. Oh well, no one ever said femdom had to be easy.
Surprisingly enough, one of her next tricks was a trucker into very pervy stuff, and it was a very lucky thing you were there to help her give him what he wanted. It just goes to show… don’t you think?
Oh dear, I hope it wasn’t anything important. I’m sure it’ll turn up somewhere when you get back from the honeymoon, anyway.
Billie appears not to have planned this very well but she’s being very nice about it.

The more cruelly she treats him

“…and the more faithless she is, the worse she uses him, the more wantonly she plays with him, the less pity she shows him, by so much the more will she increase his desire, be loved, worshipped by him.” The Founder himself said that, in Venus in Furs. He was right, although I don’t suppose Wanda thought any more of him as a result.

She’s trying her best to make this chastity regime work but you at least have to meet her halfway.
Good thing he warned her, or this could turn out to be a lot more painful than he’d expected.
He may be dying a virgin but he can be happy that he’s provided a woman with sexual fulfillment, even if only in his agonised dying moments. So there’s that.
If you think an affectionate little peck on her shoe is embarassing in public, try being slapped in public. Just not doing the kiss should be enough to bring it on.
I’m one of those people who can’t be hypnotised. Some say it’s a willpower thing, but as a sub it’s hard for me to believe that. A few people are just immune and that’s that. Back when I was a smoker, my girlfriend at the time persuaded me to go to a hypnotherapist she knew and the smoking craving was just as strong after the session as before. As it happens I did give up smoking soon after, but that was because I couldn’t really afford it, because I suddenly realised, that very evening, that I wanted to start handing over 75% of my income to my girlfriend. So it was just coincidence that it was right after the session with the hypnotist. It was difficult, but I managed to give up the cigarettes, entirely on my own, even though I decided I should be buying a pack daily for her new boyfriend, soon after. Maybe it is willpower, after all.
Pro tip: arguing that you weren’t, in this situation, is a losing proposition.

The things you do that tease and hurt me bad

It’s the way you do the things you do to me.

Sounds like she’s making a lot of effort to make this relationship work – I hope you’re duly grateful.
Don’t worry about presuming on their hospitality. They have an obligation to take in any male travellers who wander their way. Only to take them in, you understand, not to let them out again.
Trouble is, you were planning to cook something special for your anniversary, weren’t you? Oh well, probably better another day anyway. The kind of guys she brings home don’t generally have sophisticated culinary tastes.
I tried going on a humiliatrix dinner-date with a pro-domme once but she decided it wasn’t working between us and left just after we’d ordered the food. So, really no different from an ordinary date… I felt a bit of a fool for paying her so much, to be honest.
Your explanation should include the words ‘laziness’ and ‘incompetence’.
Don’t worry, she won’t visit very often.

PS, fans of old British femdom mags and of quirky mainstream takes on our little hobby might be interested in Alf Garnett discusses Cruella, over on Mr Rogue-Hagen’s magnificent Cruella site. Alf Garnett was the British inspiration for Archie Bunker, for American ‘readers’: an old man satirising right-wing views in absurd ill-informed bigoted rants. Nowadays of course, our political leaders do that themselves, so there is no need for such stuff.

Without discipline, there’s no life at all

Katharine Hepburn said that. And this [edit] is a picture of Audrey Hepburn, so the picture, like the Hepburns, is unrelated. Thanks to Downlow, low down in the comments for pointing this out. I’ll get me coat…

I’d have to say yes please. Ma’am.

“Readers” with an interest in Hollywood actresses may want to check the blog this coming Sunday. Just saying…

Don’t worry, it’s never too late to fill in any gaps in your schooling. I mean, I went to a school that didn’t have corporal punishment but look at me now.
She’s good with pain. He’s not.
Like many women, she’s discovered she doesn’t need high heels to come across as assetive and commanding.
I’m not sure she’s taking this seriously enough. She ought to have realised already that you did tell them how you felt about it, repeatedly, throughout the nine hours. Not quietly, true, but they were definitely told.
Silly Raoul. I hope he doesn’t feel too embarassed about his mistake, watching her play while busting out all over the place. Maybe she can find some way of cheering him up, in the breaks between sets.
Let the joy enter and fill your whole being.

You know how you feel at the iron gripe of ruthless oppression…

… you know how you bear the galling sneer of contumelious greatness.

Robert Burns said that. And how right he was, despite being a man. “Contumelious” was new to me: it means an “insulting display of contempt in words or actions; contemptuous or humiliating treatment.” How weird at my age to learn a new word for something I have adored for so long.

The next time I email a domme requesting a session I must remember to ask for ‘contumelious’ treatment. I’m sure she’d be impressed and give me exactly the treatment I need.

Don’t worry – I’m sure she doesn’t mean you.*
That must be very reassuring.
Ah, now I’m afraid I can’t go along with this. Consent is the alpha and omega in a BDSM relationship – never forget that. A few times early in my relationship I withheld consent when my SO was about to punish me and she got bloody furious, believe me. I won’t be making that mistake again.
She missed a trick, there: should have translated it into millimetres. Then it’s quite an impressive number: almost into double figures.
Tsk… no one’s even bothered to clean them. How can she stand putting them on her feet?
What men’s libbers don’t seem to realise is that in being so annoying, they’re reinforcing precisely the stereotypes about male behaviour they get so upset about. But then, if they weren’t so stupid, they probably wouldn’t be libbers in the first place, would they? I think most of them just need to be taken firmly in hand.

* No really. You’re quite different; so you can appreciate this kind of caption ironically, rather than feeling insulted. Anyway, you only read the blog for the jokes, right?

Mostly harmful

A note and apology to everyone who has tried to comment in the last few weeks. I had a new spam filter on and the settings were much too restrictive. I have turned them down and I have belatedly found the allow requests lists and approved everyone who didn’t look like a spammer. So do please try again.

If you get blocked again, let me know with a short comment if it lets you post something, or in an allow request if not. I’ll keep tweaking the settings. There are no restrictions on ‘adult’ words or content, it’s all about detecting phrases that seem like ads and scams. So it’s possible your witty and sexy comment about a findomme who wants to MAKE MONEY NOW!!! still won’t get through…

Sorry about this, still getting to grips with WordPress. I’m not the first. I think at one point, Paltego’s site at Femdom Resource was blocking comments with words like ‘femdom’ or ‘dominatrix’ in them, which was a bit unfortunate.

I once paid for a lesbian show, back when the authentic lesbian experience used to involve boilersuits and earnest conversations about the latest article in Spare Rib. But I hear things have moved on.
They’ll operate a dual-key system, after you’re married. It’s a lot more secure.
Obviously, he’s paying too – more, actually – but you know what she means.
She knows how much pain untruths can cause in a relationship.
Who’s Queen Patricia going to believe, anyway? Them, or her own lying slave?
When you’re done, just remember it’s not a good idea to go swimming on a full stomach. Unfortunately, Kitten doesn’t seem to know that – or perhaps just doesn’t care.

In case you missed it: Kitten went viral over the summer! And there’s a new one, too… love the way she slams the door.

Denying agency

This is a concept from ethical philiosophy, apparently, that involves treating someone as a child, unable to make decisions for themselves. I must say, it sounds rather nice, but I myself have never specifically been denied agency, because I have never dared ask for it.

On we go.

One of the secrets of a happy marriage: hinted at right there. It’s not that there will never be arguments – obviously all couples have them – just that they be treated as ‘tantrums’.
She allows her boys an average of 10 orgasms a year – so this treatment doesn’t happen very often.
That’s the only downside of castration: it can lead to a loss of important male functions, such as feeling unbearable pain.
Don’t worry: if you’re not enjoying it, just tell her, OK? She likes to know.
Pretentious? Ich?
It can be quite hard to break ingrained habits, so don’t worry if you don’t manage it on your own. Once you’re married, she can help – the two of you are a team from now on, after all.

If that’s what she wants

‘Terrified’ is good. They like terrified.
She didn’t know he had a phobia about spiders, before this. Now she does.
My SO was very sexually adventurous on our wedding night. So I’m told, anyway.
Nothing’s quite so humiliating as someone deciding that the humiliating thing to make you do is your actual job. It’s like when I paid a domme to dress me in a humliating manner and she laughed and asked me just to put my regular clothes back on. Maybe she misunderstood, I dunno.
Speaking of humiliating outfits.. aren’t you glad you get to wear a dress, when the boys are round, instead of having to walk around in lingerie like she does?
‘So…’ ? So what? Oh well, I expect she’ll explain it to him after the session. Just… don’t try this at home, OK? Dommes who are inexperienced at really severe breathplay should make sure the first few times they try it they’re in, like, a totally different city from their hometown and be sure not to leave any physical evidence.

Unequal sex

It’s the best sort…

I read somewhere that the medical advice on stress has changed. It used to be seen as something for middle aged and older men to avoid, but apparently recent research has shown that repeated stress and anxiety can make men better at all sorts of useful things, that more than compensate for any loss of life expectancy.
If he’s worried about it dripping randomly, she can always bring the candle down closer for a more accurate aim.
I admire Sylvia’s idealism, but isn’t it about time we all just admitted that men are just too stupid for most modern jobs? I mean, nothing personal guys, but we all know it’s true, right? They’re even inventing artificial intelligence now, before the males of the species have managed the natural kind, so really I don’t see the point in trying to catch up. There are lots of things men are better at than women – mostly involving manual drudgery – as long as they’re firmly supervised, so isn’t that enough? Why just set yourself up to fail?
Always difficult, playing with amateurs. Oh well, how bad can it be?
He also consented to several amendments to that agreement, after a few days of marriage. Funny how there’s always a few things you didn’t think of, isn’t it?

…and two extras, why not, both inspired by a recent post by the femdom blogger-in-chief, Paltego on Femdom Resource.

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