surprised by Joy – Contemplating the divine

How soon ‘not now’ becomes ‘never’

I think Martin Luther said that. He rarely features in online femdom porn: odd because I’m pretty sure I read somewhere he subsisted on a diet of worms, which sounds pretty hardcore. Like many subs, I am much more into Catholic guilt anyway.

On we go.

‘Several’. OK. That’s better than ‘a few’. And ‘a few’ can be quite a lot, as I discovered when my SO decided to give me a few strokes of the cane the other day.

Yeah, but you don’t get that personal touch of being contemptuously ignored.

Ah – a religiously-themed caption, to actually fit with the title of today’s post. Except it doesn’t. Content is usually unrelated, as I imagine you’ve worked out by now. Anyway, she seems to take her duties very seriously, even finding joy in them, so good for her.

The pain she’s currently got planned for him is necessary, but not sufficient. Not sufficient for her, anyway.

And another religious-themed caption. Any caption featuring the divine Anya is necessarily religious-themed.

Divine interventions

There are lots of books you can read about negotiating techniques – they’d probably be helpful in this situation. Sadly, the cage in which you are locked naked doesn’t have any of them.

Don’t worry, there are lots of things she’s been thinking of that can also spice up the relationship. She’s just been holding back, up until now, that’s all.

Inexperienced slaves might object “But what if no one has a use for me all day?”. To which the answer, obviously, is “Then you remain facing the wall.”. You have your orders, there’s nothing unclear so why try to ask annoying questions?

Not that it matters, but, actually, being ignored isn’t one of this client’s fetishes but he’s never been given the opportunity to explain that.

Don’t worry, if self-control fails there’s always external control to fall back on.

I’ve watched Goddess Anya in so many things. Let’s see, there was that series where she was a chess player and another about her as the American girlfriend/wife of some Birmingham gangster and obviously the movie about her eating in a restaurant that blows up after they’ve served her her cheeseburger. Oh and that Jane Austen, of course: the one that didn’t have the divine Annie Hathaway in it. I suppose there may have been one or two other actors in those but I can’t say I paid a lot of attention to the non-Anya scenes, or the plots.

Girls just wanna have power

That’s not strictly true – she actually does care. That’s why she does it.

Let’s hope Mistress is feeling forgiving. It’s not been known to happen often but there’s always hope.

Right now, he’s thinking having to cope with her passive-aggresive behaviour is actually worse than being whipped. He’s wrong, but we’ll let him discover that for himself, shall we?

She didn’t really suspect him of having an affair. She has more confidence in his fidelity to her than that – an unshakeable confidence, actually.

Just look in to those eyes and say the first thing that comes into your head. What’s the worst that could happen?

Sorry the blog’s been a bit Joyless lately, but that’s fixable.

But you won’t cry, I know

Angry tears are too dear.

She likes it when you say please and thank you, but you need to get used to saying them quickly, because once she starts using alternating hands, it gets pretty fast.

Men need to take responsibility for their own behaviour. His body, his fault.

They say when you’re in a hole it’s best to stop digging… although my experience has always been that if I’m digging a hole I’d better damn well keep digging as fast as I can, until she tells me to stop.

Don’t get your hopes up, she rarely keeps the boys she collects when she’s out.

And if she does finally snap and put you on the leash, for goodness’ sake don’t make her drag you along. It’s not fair to expect her to do all the work in the relationship.

She doesn’t realise what a career boost a photo feature in AFM can provide. Take a look at some of the shots from the magazine I’ve featured here – A-listers, almost all of them.*

* Fans of AFM – yes, there are some, you’re not the weirdest reader of this blog, you know, not by a long chalk – can look forward to a great start to 2025. No spoilers, though.

Benevolent brutality

She’ll work around it. A relationship is founded on how the partners feel about one another; things like whips and canes and tawses are just the physical expressions of that.

He’s not actually naturally balding; she just prefers him that way as she says it tickles less when she’s watching TV.

Wow – sounds like you might have an important assignment on your very first day!

He doesn’t need to check his privilege because she’s checking it thoroughly on his behalf.

Classic Cruella, of course, featuring the stunning Lady Sonia and the lovely Lynda Leigh. And some bloke, probably with an ugly moustache, but who cares, eh?

You might as well blame yourself. After all, *she*‘s going to be blaming you and it’s not as if anyone else cares.

I think we know what’ll happen to Rob if he doesn’t make more of an effort. Rob doesn’t, but he’s more brawn than brains.

Dominant narratives

Try to keep the explanation brief when you do get the chance; she’s going to want to get on.

Thank goodness someone with common sense has stepped in to take charge.

This wonderful lady is Miss Tamara Kenworthy, also known as Samantha Alexandra (but not in any pictures you and I are allowed to look at).

It’s a good thing Kitty’s there for her, because she’s going to need comforting as she tries to adjust to a life without a male partner. Kitty’s good at that.

Ah, that’ll be why she’s not letting you masturbate, then. Feel free to ask if you want a half-way quickie wank: I’m sure she’ll give it careful consideration.

They do say there are no ponts for coming second, but then girls often dislike it when you come first too, so you can’t win. Not that it’s a competition – as my first date pointed out when I challenged her to race me to orgasm (I would have won, if she hadn’t cheated by kicking me so hard in the balls).

Love conquers all

So it’s best to offer unconditional surrender.

He needn’t worry that his session tribute will, increase, though: instead she has a completely different financial model she intends to apply.

My SO told me on our wedding night that our intercourse had lasted almost exactly 45 seconds too long for her to enjoy it – which I thought odd, as it had only lasted 45 seconds in total. Just the first of many misunderstandings, but we’ve come to understand one another very well now.

They won’t be fresh of course… in fact, by then they’ll probably be rank and fetid. Yum. I hope she’ll warm them up, though. Nothing worse than cold sweaty socks.

I’m sure if she could bend the rules on this occasion, she would. But she doesn’t make the… oh, hang on.

And afterwards it’s easy enough to keep you tight by just moving up one strap-on size each time. It’s surprising – and a bit uncomfortable – how big they go. But Anya has strong pelvic muscles, as she says, so that’s OK.

Those uncomfortable conversations

Try not to pity her boyfriend too much, abject slave to his desires though he is: he doesn’t know any better, poor soul.

Don’t worry: she’s not really going to change her name to Mrs Pencildick. As a matter of fact, her husband’s the one who’s going to be legally changing his surname. To hers, obviously, although she is considering making him change his *first* name officially to Pencildick, or some such, at the same time.

It’s the same algorithm that sends you all those dick enlargement emails. Oh… you thought they were just spam? No, they’re very carefully targetted. Most other guys don’t get them.

When setting up a session with a new domme I usually ask her to treat me with utter contempt and disdain and I have to say, my experience has been that they’re all startlingly good at it. Sometimes I don’t even ask and they still get it right… I guess experienced dommes develop a kind of sixth sense for what their clients are looking for.

He obviously survived to a ripe old age… imagine him keeping the book all those decades, turning the pages occasionally to reminisce over his days under Miss Rathbone’s loving tyranny, only for the book to be sold to a second-hand shop after his death. Still: looks like it’s found an appreciative home.

…and just a little bit of found femdom to finish (do hurry up and finish, won’t you? Your wife will be back soon and you don’t want her to find you like this). More divine Joy…. who has done this many, many times before and she totally, totally knows…

Imperial leather

More captions from a bygone age. Several bygone ages. But all featuring enchanting unfairness from the fairer sex.

Curiously, as a result of these two ladies taking their roles slightly further than he had anticipated, the ‘genleman’ in question was late for a meeting of the British Cabinet at which a fateful decision was taken that, had he been able to attend, he would have counselled against and thus avoided the siege of Khartoum and all the unpleasantness that stemmed therefrom. But Luce and Eliza got paid and that’s the important thing.

Forgive her Father, but not just yet if you don’t mind.

Albert, of course, died tragically young – an outcome for which the young queen was in no way responsible. So please don’t ask her how he actually died, she prefers not to think of the night in question. Nor was it in any way connected to the form of penile implant that was subsequently named after her late consort. Historians are quite clear on that and to suggest otherwise is technically treason, even today. Interestingly, the practice of ‘queening’ may well have been named after Victoria, although the suggestion to rename it ‘queen-empressing’ after 1877 never really caught on.

I think Kitty might need to comfort her quite soon, as she seems quite affected by the sight, the poor delicate thing.

Not compensations every time, but certainly compensations.

Without discipline, there’s no life at all

Katharine Hepburn said that. And this [edit] is a picture of Audrey Hepburn, so the picture, like the Hepburns, is unrelated. Thanks to Downlow, low down in the comments for pointing this out. I’ll get me coat…

I’d have to say yes please. Ma’am.

“Readers” with an interest in Hollywood actresses may want to check the blog this coming Sunday. Just saying…