sadism – Contemplating the divine

And thank her afterwards

Nothing wrong with a bit of good old-fashioned pain, without all that fetishy nonsense, as my SO likes to say.

My VR settings show all women as fully clothed – even naked ones. Apparently that’s better for me.

Many girls find the sight of a penis and balls revolting – risible, even. But clip on a couple of heavy duty electrodes and most will see the erotic potential.

Actually ejaculating will be another €400 on top of that, by the way, so make sure you’ve got enough. Money, I mean, not semen: you’ve got far too much of that and need to keep it to yourself.

It’s a job with a lot of prospects – most of them quite demeaning and unpleasant.

The lovely ‘Victoria’ from Cruella, of course, with whom (in magazine form) I spent rather more time than was good for me back around 1989 or so.

Something weird with her stuff? The very idea!

Feminine ferocity

It’s important to think about her needs, not just your own selfish desire not to be in agony.

To be fair, many femdom activities seem unlikely to be compatible with evolutionary success. Chastity, for one.

Oh good. I wonder what it is.

She has testimonials from several hundred eternally unsatisfied clients to prove it.

I’ll go to the end of the line, then.

Dumb hearts get broken

I just hate feeling useless…

Actually, the little hole can be opened up wider. But not for food.

Pookles is beginning to wonder whether he should put his foot down in this relationship. Or just throw himself on the floor and scream uncontrollably.

Don’t try to understand women’s sexuality. It’s more complex and subtle than the male variety.

Maybe she’ll let you kiss her feet afterwards, before dragging yourself from her presence.

And a little bit of found femdom for you. This is the webcomic Fluffy Bunny, which seems to be quite old but I had not encountered before. Mostly it’s a bit too cute for my tastes, but I did like this one:

Callous talk

Oh no. Don’t tell me I married an escape artist. Again.

Scurry scurry scurry.

Thank goodness it’s nothing personal.

That looks very motivating, doesn’t it? I think just one of those rods would motivate me, so a whole bunch wrapped together like that… I feel motivated just looking at them.

I wouldn’t mind, but he’s the priest who married us and that just seems wrong. Still… very nice shoes.

And make her some great Princess, six feet high!

Grand, epic, homicidal.

Armpit Fetishist Monthly is just another example of the decline of traditional media, another fine publication swept away by the Internet. I recall their cookery page with particular affection.

…and by the way, I have posted this before even with the same comment, but… Oh. My. Goddess. I have to see this movie!

My office established a system of disciplinary procedures for inappropriate sexual activity. Which to my mind is just having your cake and eating it too… or would be, were I allowed cake.

I’m thinking of paella – perhaps a nice Rioja to go with it? And maybe Roger might like to try bastinado, in keeping with the Spanish theme.

With luck, she’ll take up chewing gum obsessively.

Love hurts and so does she.

By the way, this lady is going to feature here rather a lot from now on. Unless she takes out an injunction or something (don’t you hate it when women do that?). Nata!

Pure bliss and divine serenity


Perhaps she ought to explore ways to teach him what her orgasm sounds like. There must be opportunities, for an independently-minded lady such as her.	.

Actually, most of the women I have ever paid to mistreat me are very kind to animals. Maybe it’s a balance thing.

Thank badness for that.

Hmm… let’s think. I’m not staying at a Travellodge, OK? I do have some standards.

I read about this fake findomme who was defrauding her clients. Apparently she was taking their money and then not ignoring them at all. It’s sad that kind of thing happens, as it gives the whole industry a bad name.

Boys will be toys

Maybe I’m just hungry… I expect she’d say that’s because she’s feeding me too often.

Lots of men find it quite hard to turn a woman on, sexually, but if you’re ever lucky enough to meet a real hard-core sadist, you’ll probably find that just doing whatever comes naturally pushes all her buttons in just the right way.

And she’s having sex for both of you now, so it’s quite a lot of work.

Nasty words can leave an unpleasant taste in the mouth.

Bob’s shortlisted for an Oscar, I understand, now. If he wins, I wonder if he’ll put the credit where it is due in his acceptance speech? Behind every successful man, they say…

Boss ladies

I understand in most modern social media platforms it’s just one of the standard tickboxes when you sign up. Of course, you can always choose “Don’t like to say” or “It’s complicated!”

A really skilled domme can plant a billiard ball right up a slave’s anus from the far side of the table.

If it’s any consolation, the male warders are all very nice indeed, as long as the inmates are nice to them.

Love’s often not enough.

When they called the next day, she had a glass of wine and a vibrator ready. You know: just to help her cope with the trauma.

Dommesticated

Bliss. Link is, just for once, actually to something femdom-themed rather than random British music. Really , honestly. No, it’s not Rick Astley. I promise. Really – try it. It’s a very sweet and sexy thing.*

I tried one of those virtual girlfriend programmes. Something went wrong, though – after the first time I’d tried it, every time I started it up, the computer would just crash and shut down. I thought it must be a bug so I called the helpline but the lady there just laughed and said she thought there was nothing wrong with the software and she put the phone down on me and blocked my number. Computer-generated personalities can be startlingly lifelike these days, don’t you think?

Well, let’s hope she doesn’t just fall asleep as soon as she’s had her orgasm, this time.

Actually, most of my clothes these days are washable latex anyway. The blood just rinses right off, so no harm done.

Fortunately, when you get near your own neighbourhood most people will already know that.

Even Hollywood megastars have to pay for some things themselves, huh? Still… I expect she can afford it.

* PS You thought it was going to be Rick Astley, didn’t you? Don’t you trust me? Just admit it – you don’t trust me, do you? Trust’s important in BDSM. I’m hurt now… and not in a good way.