blow job – Contemplating the divine

Lap dogs to a slip of a girl

It’s funny: in a few weeks he’ll probably be complaining it’s too hot, staked out there on a lovely summer day with the honey and sweat running off his skin and the ants tickling his face.

I tried a self-help book once. Apparently my feelings of inadequacy aren’t real. Oh right – so what have I been paying all that tribute for, over the years, then? Silly book.

Good thing she decided not to wash her hair, as she hates saying no to people.

A survey of the male employees found 82% of them consider the new dress code unbearably humiliating. Management are working hard to think of something they can do to respond: 18% of males not feeling constantly mortified is simply unacceptable in a truly inclusive workplace.

Just don’t leave your used jodhpurs lying around.

Due deference

Don’t worry: as an experienced keyholder, she’s very well aware of men’s sexual needs and makes sure they’re satisfied – unless there’s an urgent deadline, she’s teleworking or you receive a ‘needs improvement’ on your performance review, or something. Not their sexual wants, you understand, but definitely their needs.

There’s really no need for males to learn mathematical techniques beyond basic counting and thanking. I often even get that wrong, to be honest.

If its something you’re already good at, then maybe you should try that 10,000 hours technique, you know? That’s all you need to become really expert.

It’ll be good practice for when he’s released to forage for himself.

Aitor might make a bit of a mess later too, so thank goodness you’re around.

Pretty woman don’t make me cry

What’s that? Oh, I ticked ‘make me cry’ on the session negotiation form? Oh yes, so I did. Sorry, my mistake: go ahead then.

Just hand me the lipstick and stand aside, little lady. I got this.

Very public-spirited of them to help out, I say.

You might worry that if she just gets high grades without effort, she might end up with no skills and in a low-wage dead-end career. Don’t worry: she’s developing lots of skills and her future in a high-paying professional career is almost guaranteed.

What, did you think she just… I dunno… abducted guys and skinned them in her basement? You’ve been reading too much lurid fantasy. Relax, OK?

I wonder why she went too far like that? She’s supposed to be a professional.

Severe sentences

Oh well. No harm done, I expect. Anyway, everyone makes an occasional mistake.

My SO has always been faithful. Oh, she may have oral, vaginal and anal sex – sometimes even at the same time – with a great many men and women, but she locked my cock into my little tube on our wedding day and that’s still the only cock she’s ever locked up. It’s special to her, she says, like my virginity.

Sure, she’d love to hear about that. Maybe even roleplay it, hmm? She can be the client and he the server. He should try to make an effort, though: there’s a lot of boys interested in this job and to make it as fair as possible, she’s interviewing all of those who passed the photo test. He needs to show her he’s willing to go that extra mile, giving it 110%.

And anyway, she’s quite sexually adventurous: she won’t just be using the cattle prod on your penis; there are so many other parts of the body that deserve some attention too.

Looks like you’re going to be feeling her pain. And a great deal more that’s all your own.

Forceful females, meek males

Oh dear. You had one job… Well, OK, you had several jobs if you count all the chores and you even had two jobs at a time during the spit-roasting bit but you know what I mean.

It’s their ‘rattan’ anniversary.

Maybe she should. I hope she makes her mind up quickly rather than dithering about it… odd, because she’s usually very decisive.

The extra said yes – well, of course he did – but sadly the scene was cut from the movie. He has developed quite a successful career though and has now had several minor speaking roles. He was “Squeaky-voiced guy in elevator” in one of the recent Marvel movies, for instance.

It’s the way she tells them.

Hot and unbothered

People talk a lot about objectification, but really there’s nothing wrong with getting off on the sight of a lovely pair of eyes going all red and tearful as the soap gets rubbed in.

If it’s hurting it’s working.

Shhh!

‘Ignoring it’ is something that happens a lot so maybe sterner measures are needed.

She’ll be having enough orgasms for both of you – it’s her generous nature.

Terror the human form divine

A family friend was branded by a Canadian domme. He kicked up a bit of a fuss when she started on the French translation, but ‘la loi c’est la loi’, I guess.

He’s sulky because when they have guests around he’s usually allowed to stay up. But after she had to deal with a tantrum at their last dinner party, she’s decided not to risk it.

Don’t forget to look super-relaxed.

A few hours spent torturing a male doesn’t make a lesbian relationship any less vanilla, any more than cuddling together in front of the TV with a box of chocolates makes them choco-fetishists.

I’m sure you don’t mind – you married her for her personality, not her looks, right? And she certainly has a very strong personality.

Leading women

People think that the whole ‘femdom humiliatrix’ thing is just a minority interest but back in the day when I was dating I met so many girls whose sexual fantasy was to deny me sex – and many who mocked my small penis, too. They’re out there if you know how to find them.

It’s actually a bit hypocritical of her to say that, because in the six months before the op, she was the one who managed to work the subject into almost every conversation. Still, probably best not to call her out on it… you know what she’s like.

It’s very odd – according to my SO, I often choose courses of action that lead inevitably to my being subjected to intolerable pain. But she’s supposed to be the sadistic one! Go figure, as they say.

Erm… whatever we’re permitted to say, I suppose?


Several of the prisoners in the nearby underground prison tearfully begged Madame Jana not to make him do that again, saying they preferred the whip.

And finally, any Swiss fans of the World War M series might want to note that their opportunity to serve their country in those crucial mobile laundry units has finally arrived.

It’s savage and it’s cruel

And it shines like destruction. Mistress Lennox, of course, and her beardy boy.

There’s an important difference. Voyeurs get sexual gratification from watching other people have sex, while humiliation freaks get sexual gratification from not getting sexual gratification.