crush – Contemplating the divine

One day, you will be old enough to start reading fairytales again

More escapist captions from a fantasy, fairytale world – so unlike the strict adherence to realism that characterises the majority of this blog’s material.

Oh well, looks like no one needs rescuing, then. I suppose you can just go away again.

If you’d like to rootle for a few acorns as you trot along, she’s fine with that too.

Why don’t men think these things through before wishing? Are they stupid?

She’d be taking a bit of a risk… I hope she doesn’t get in any trouble for it.

I’d protect her with my mighty sword, innocent maiden disguise or no. But then, ‘the hard way’ might be quite fun, too.

Trying not to pose

… for the cameras and the girls (trigger warning: no femdom, big hair, old-fashioned music from when Servitor was young, if such a thing can be imagined).

Always a tricky situation, but she knew exactly how to handle it to prevent embarassment. Women are better at reading social situations like that. Now… what kind of wine goes with spunk?

She’s considering a suggestion from some productivity consultants that could eliminate that particular problem. The jerking-off, I mean, not the periods. That would be weird.

She doesn’t have any questions for you, either. It’s that kind of relationship, where you take the other person just as they are. She’s violent and sadistic and you’re… well: restrained and vulnerable. What’s to discuss?

Like a threesome! Five, if you count the socks.

Took my hand and so unkindly

…cut me down with words so cruel

Many men just don’t appreciate how painful high-heeled shoes can be.

There’s a place near me that does them ready-stomped. Very wide range of toppings too.

I hope her arm’s not getting tired, the poor thing. I think someone’s doing all the work in this relationship.

She has great influencing skills.

Yes, but apart from that…?

Brought to heel

Hmm? Oh. Sure.

I don’t see why she would be so sure of that. Just on this occasion he’s the expert, after all.

It’s hardly their fault – boys break so easily, just when it’s starting to get fun.

The worst of it is, she realised when he got home that one of the dresses was the wrong size and he had to go straight back to the shop to exchange it. Someone must have put it on the wrong hanger – people can be so thoughtless and selfish, sometimes, can’t they?

That’s the thing about crush fetish play – it’s only fun for a short time.

May the Lady make us truly thankful

‘Squeakity’ indeed! I’d like to point out that I’m actually speaking perfectly normally, just in a very high pitch and with a lot of hysterical shrieking and pleading.

My SO found out once that I’d taken out a book on lock-picking. She over-reacted completely – as usual! – and after a long and sometimes difficult evening ‘discussing’ it, I had to take it back the very next day. The librarian was quite pleased: she said there was a long waiting list for it. All men.

I’ve occasionally wondered what I’d do with all the money, if I won the lottery. I suppose if it ever actually happened, she’d tell me soon enough, though.

It’s perfectly normal. Don’t worry about a thing: you have a long life ahead of you.

She always finds it quite upsetting when this happens. She’s actually a very nice person – I don’t know why she stays with him.

Unfair maidens

Or even better news. Depending on what your kink is.

She’s right (she always is) – we men should be able to stand up for ourselves. Being able to sit down without wincing would be nice, too.

He still has two more wishes, of course. If only the ladies could understand his squeaking… I wonder what they would be?

Of course.

They have a very Special Relationship.

Effortless superiority

Oh well. Being beaten by Simon’s no fun, but there’ll be other guests who want a go too, so…


It’s good when fetishes are complementary* like that. A friend of mine went on a date with a girl he really fancied, who turned out to have a castration fetish – and that just wasn’t his thing at all. So he hasn’t dated her since. Or anyone, come to think of it. Sad, really.

Of course, it’s not just about penis length. Girth matters too.

Crush fetish again!


Oh. OK. (Damn!)

* Now come on, EditorDomme! Is there another fetish blog anywhere on the Internet that knows the difference between complementary and complimentary? As you know I take (and ocasionally receive) a lot of pains over my grammar. I could of just written any old rubbish, but I choose my words with care.

Note: due to technical incompetence out of my control, I don’t have a good record of which captions I posted between July and October this year (and I am not looking through all the blog posts to check…). So any males reading this who see a caption they’ve seen here before can do some work, for once in their lazy, feckless lives, and let me know in the comments.

Active-aggressive behaviour

Actually, I think her levels of married bliss have never been higher.

Have you noticed their expressions? I don’t think they’re going to argue about this. Sometimes couples already really know what needs to be done – the role of the external expert is just to help them open up about it to each other.

He does still participate in rapes from time to time, though. Just in a different role.

Valuable protein.

That kind of bitchy behaviour is quite unusual in OWK, actually. Generally, the ladies work within a supportive and positive team culture. It’s about mutual respect in the workplace, basically.