March 2022 – Contemplating the divine

Oral displeasure

I think it’s only fair to point out that this young lady has actually signed a Mistress-Slave agreement ruling out any humiliating D/S play in public. But not with you. Go on – don’t keep her waiting.

Or she could put yet another hood over that one. My SO loves to wrap me in layer after layer of latex hood and we play ‘find the air-hole’, which is a bit like ‘pass the parcel’ but with a strict time limit.

Your feelings do matter, obviously. Just not to her. Or Daniel.

It’ll be fine. Dr Franley’s patients rarely complain.

Don’t get into one of those Mars/Venus misunderstandings by interpreting her words literally, OK? I mean, she wants a present tomorrow too, obviously.

Unreasonable demands

She’s embarrassed now… but don’t worry, she has coping techniques for that.

Now come on – man up. Remember what you all discussed at the last encounter group? No, no I don’t mean the bit about ironing pleats – about standing up to your wives? Yeah? Right then. Hang on – where are you going? You can’t stand up to her on your knees! Oh for goodness’ sake…

My SO and I have a consensual relationship. I didn’t want to but she insisted.

They’d starve to death, I expect. I mean, more of them would than when the Ladies actually are there, anyway.

This photo is actually a rather sophisticated optical illusion. Many men, seeing it for the first time, don’t notice the slice of pizza, the big red cup, the bottles of water or the coffee maker – even after staring at it for hours. Something to do with how the brain processes images, I understand.

Firmly-held opinions

Tsk. And he’s hardly even made an effort to look smart, either. Men!

A Rose by any other name…

If the weights do tear the ring out and make a nasty mess, I think we all know whose fault that will be, don’t we subbie? Yes, yes we do.

If you don’t want to know, don’t ask.

One advantage is that only the very best nurses work in the RPU. It’s very competitive – you’ll be in the hands of the elite; a much more professional standard of care than you could normally expect with a silly old ingrowing toenail.

Punishing workloads

…but these ladies always manage to deliver.

It’s a win-win for her, which is just as well because she really hates losing.

Don’t worry about whether you’ll be able to satisfy her. That’s one of the nice things about being a pain toy: she does all the work and you just have to go with the flow. Let Joy be unconfined.

Necessary suffering, obviously, is something she can fully support.

This is, of course, Miss Chambers, possessor of the finest, most elegant nose in femdom, and to be found (nostalgically) on the Cruella web site.

My own SO, I am glad to say, does not approve of whipping for minor, trivial faults. I have yet to discover a fault she considers to be minor and trivial, but when I do I am sure that will come as a great relief.

Hmm… Think think think. I expect she’ll remember eventually, as long as she’s not distracted by something more important.

Kiss the boys or make them cry

or both, even.

Nervous young husbands might want to check out Servitor’s old series ‘Seven Secrets of a Happy Marriage‘ which contains about 30 pieces of advice, each one of them as accurate and helpful as the title proclaiming there will be ‘seven’.

Women can often be oddly protective of their shoes, can’t they? And their panties too, in my experience. Just ask any of the women in my neighbourhood, or the judge in my court case for that matter. There’s probably an over-protective, nurturing, nest-building sort of impulse behind it, I expect. The neighbours I mean, not the judge – she was just doing her job, except when she made me do that little dance dressed up and frillied in front of the court. Happy days… where was I? Oh yes.

Fake it to make it and escape it.

Anyway, you look so cute taking little steps, with the bells hanging from your nipple clamps going jingle jingle jingle.

If you think the client in question is behaving in a humiliating way, wanking off looking at this lovely lady but not allowed to touch her or her clothing… what does that say about what you’re doing, right now? Hmm?

Adding insults to injuries

Costs extra but it’s worth it, believe me.

Try making a list of all the things you know annoy her and run through them all. It might take a while, but you’ve got all day.

I’m good at being annoying. Less so at having orgasms, because I don’t have as many opportunities.

Many visitors to OWK think Czech classes are pointless because the ladies just scream at you and beat you up anyway. Which they do, obviously, but occasionally being able to plead piteously for mercy in Czech can result in slightly less pain. Very slightly. Sometimes. And if the Lady in question is not actually Slovak, obviously. But still…

You might find you get a bit irritable without coffee. Interestingly, that can turn out to be a learning experience too.

Maybe she’ll show you what she’s put down on Governess Hardcastle’s booking form. Or maybe she won’t and it’ll all be a surprise! Still, at least you can be confident there won’t be any little blonde findomme princesses or tarts in latex with big tits. Thank goodness.

Her opinion matters

It does – like many other men, I discovered early on in married life how much pain can be caused by not listening carefully enough to my partner’s concerns.

Hmm. It’s hardly surprising they don’t send her the best boys they have, if she keeps on breaking them. But I don’t want to be the one to tell her that.

Unnecessary rudeness can leave such a nasty taste in the mouth.

Mistress wants her slave to put his clothes back on – quietly now! – tiptoe off to the dungeon door and silently fuck off. There’s a good boy.

It’s good they’re all labelled because the faces usually get a bit messed up and hard to recognise, particularly those who were married when they arrived.

Try not to judge her too harshly. He is very annoying.

True love’s first slap

She’s vegan because she can’t abide cruelty, except under carefully-controlled conditions. Her blonde friend there isn’t so fastidious, so I’ve heard.

It can be quite tedious for our superiors, having to wait to let the dread build up. Thank goodness she has someone to keep her company,

There’s such a gap between language and reality, the way men talk about sex. Like – a guy might say that he’s got something hard between his legs but I’ll bet it’s nothing like as hard as what I’ve got between mine.


For a long time, I can honestly claim I had ‘never had any complaints’ from women, sexually speaking, but then there was the shocking experience of my first date. Still, so far only one woman has ever actually told me on the basis of experience that I’m bad at sex, all the others have just played it safe.

I can’t imagine how he was expecting to get through passport control, naked with his wrists shackled behind him to a wooden bar locked around his bollocks. I mean, he doesn’t even have proof of his posiitve PCR test.

More in indifference than in anger

Actually, female spiders eat their mates in only a minority of spider species and you’re in luck – the one that bit her is not from one of them. So I’m not even sure why she’s doing this, actually, but I’m sure if you point that fact out she’ll let you go.

Actually, the company medical plan does cover males but only for a few, specified surgical procedures.

Just go with it, see where it takes you. She’s not going to rush anything, plenty of time.

You might develop a foot fetish, eventually. And if you can develop a fetish for doing chores too you should have a very enjoyable marriage. Oh – and findom, too. Yeah, you definitely want to try to get into findom because there’s going to be a lot of that.

Irony… it’s like rain on your wedding day – which actually isn’t all that ironic, it’s just bloody uncomfortable, take it from me, especially when you’re chained up naked outside the church waiting for the bride.