Kind hearts and martinets

I shot an arrow in the air; she fell to earth in Berkely Square.  Warning: safe for work and unrelated.

I’ll confess to anything because I’m guilty guilty guilty!

As long as there’s wi-fi.
Don’t be so suspicious.
“Isn’t that silly” is a phrase I used to hear a lot on dates, oddly enough. 
It’s good to feel useful, now there’s nothing to do but hang around the house all day. I’m worried we might run out of toilet paper, though.  Goodness knows what we’d do, then.

Thigh five

… which is obviously a made-up phrase.  Oddly, though, there are many two-word phrases in the English language beginning with the word ‘thigh’ and every single one of them is erotic. Strange but true. 

Unlike, say, the words ‘rancid’ or ‘viscous’, unless you’re really weird and we don’t like weirdos on this blog, thank you very much.

You can do anything*, but don’t wank on my black suede boots. 

* No you can’t.

You might imagine that this young lady is headed for a stellar career as a professional dominatrix, but as things turned out she actually became the head of Ryanair’s Customer Complaints department.  So there you go.

Dave’s need is greater than yours. Well.. his cock certainly is, anyway.
It’s OK as long as I keep my mind off all thoughts sexual
Ocasionally, when I have an idea for a caption, I’ll worry that one of the many, many other femdom caption sites on the Internet will already have done it. This one, not so much.

Mistress and Commander

Celebrating the more militaristic side of our little hobby.  Destruction, brutality, war, death… it’s sad there are these things in our world, but there’s nothing wrong with having a little sexy fun with them, is there?

As a British citizen, I don’t actually carry ID, but I do have an ownership tattoo, so let’s hope that will suffice.


happens. You know, the ninth Women’s Gestapo regiment once managed to
lose an entire infantry divisions-worth of POWs. Careless, but war’s
messy, right?

Her way’s a lot quicker, too.
Obviously enough, a lovely image from the British Institution
You know, there are lots of organisations called “The British
Institute” of this, that and the other.  I hope they enjoy the
ocasional accidental surf to prison.

Don’t worry. You get at least four more opportunities for appeal. We are going to fight this!
The divine, lovely, commanding Mistress Eleise de Lacy is no longer associated with Femme Fatale films and is cross with them (but oh, it’s wonderful when Mistress Eleise is cross with you, as I can personally attest!).  So I won’t be linking to them, for images featuring her.  And the not-always-in-charge Miss Woods is here.

Right, like her name’s really Vinyl Queen, huh?  Dommes, eh? Do they think the rules don’t apply to them?
  I’m guessing that’s who it is, from a Google Image search.  Do correct me if I’m wrong.

You can wear the uniform and I could play along

And so it goes…

“…and if there’s war between the sexes then there’ll be no people left.  “
Actually, I’ve never believed that. Some of us would be traitorous quislings from the start, for one thing.

PS – she didn’t recognise him, actually.  Not her fault – they used to get a lot of men at OWK.  They all look the same after a while, I expect. 

The holiday starts here.


Some of us have high natural levels of this chemical in our bloodstreams already.  It’s produced in the spleen, I expect.  Mostly because I enjoy typing the word ‘spleen’, which is a rather underused organ in femdom porn, I’ve always felt.




It’s best not to let the cute ones off too lightly.
Nazi dominatrices!  Cute, huh?  A bit illegal in Germany, but hey – this is the blog that treats its readers with contempt, remember?

I said “Tell me your name, is it Sweet?”, she said “My boy, it’s Dagger.”

Oh yeah.

Girls with guns now
I think it’s rather special that she dressed up for the occasion.

OWK safeword isnt
By the way – don’t be fooled by that ‘the last hour’ into thinking this was some sort of brutal day-long beating!  No, no – it was only just over an hour.  He started screaming desperately for mercy just a few minutes into it, that’s all, when he hit his limit, and then there was about an hour before she stopped.  I mean – they’re not that cruel at OWK, for goodness’ sake.
 Source is fairly obviously the Other World Kingdom, and this is the magnificant Madame Katarina.

Little lost slave
Maybe his Mistress will put up posters or something.  Maybe not.
 Source is the delightful Men are Slaves.  Yes.  Yes, we are.

Just for the hell of it
You never know.  Their victim might actually have been responsible for Amelia Earheart’s disappearance.  Wouldn’t that be something!  You see, lawyers always say that in court you should never ask a witness you don’t know the answer to already, but torture’s not like that.  You can just go where it takes you, you know?
The source for this is a song I don’t like at all from a band I’d never heard of called White Flame.  The video’s pretty good, if you turn the sound off, ignore the band members and just concentrate on the ladies above.

Pencil skirt - who needs a caption?
Somehow, I think you might get to know Debbie quite well.

How much happiness does a marriage need anyway?

Goodness me, it seems that twenty-one secrets of a happy marriage are still not enough for some of you!  Frankly, if your marriages are that unhappy, ladies, have you considered drowning the obnoxious little git? And men – well, you can just drown yourselves, can’t you?  Try not to make a mess.

Anyway, for those without access to conveniently uninhabited locations with deep water, here are yet another seven secrets for a happy marriage.

1.  If she wants to try something new in the bedroom, try to put up with it without complaining, even if it’s not really your thing.


2.  If you unexpectedly find a sex toy in her drawer, just put it back the way you found it and don’t mention it.  She’s probably waiting for the right time to introduce it into your lovemaking.

3.  If she’s really angry about something you’ve done, she probably won’t mention it immediately.  She’ll wait until she thinks the time and place are just right, so the two of you can discuss it properly.

4. Sometimes women won’t directly say what it is they really want to try in your lovemaking… but they’re sending out subliminal signals all the time, if you can only learn to tune into them!

5.  Many men dread those long moments of silence, when she’s really annoyed and you’re waiting for her to start talking about it.  But don’t.  That silence helps.  It gives you both the time to think about what’s happened – and what’s going to happen now.  And then in a few moments, you can both devote yourselves to trying to make your relationship work better.  And that’s something to look forward to.  Isn’t it?

6.  Too many men rush straight for the flower stall when they know they have an upset wife.  Sure, all girls like to receive flowers from time to time, but if it’s a substitute for understanding her anger, don’t expect your two dozen long-stemmed roses to solve the problem.  You’ll probably end up making things worse – especially for yourself.

7.  Mornings matter.  What’s the first thing you do together each day?  Think about how you can use it to tell your husband what you think of him, especially after a night of lovemaking.

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