When life gives you lemons…

 …strap him down to a table, clip his eyelids open and squeeze the juice into them.

Too unpleasant for you?  Then you definitely will not want to watch this clip of women (as the title indicates) brutally torturing men to death

No, seriously, you won’t.  That clip is not some kind of happy S&M consensual game, nor are the terrified victims saved at the last minute from the evil torturers (don’t you hate it when that happens in mainstream movies?).  It is possibly the most unpleasant, brutal mainstream clip I have ever seen.  Very nasty stuff.

I mean, who could possibly enjoy that sort of thing?  You’d have to be a truly sick weirdo to get any kind of sexual pleasure from that. Simply horrible, it is.  Vile.

Mmmm.

Anyway, on we go!

 

Some poor sod’s going to have to clean that up, you know.


 

 

‘Non-lethal’ is how I like my femdom play.

 

 

Yes, let’s hope Ellie doesn’t take it out on them.  She’d got a terrible temper, you know.

 

 

 

The people have spoken… the ones wanking online, anyway, and that’s good enough for her.

 

 

 

 

Thank goodness none of that applies to any of us, eh readers?  Imagine the (fully justified) self-loathing you’d have to feel to get off on something like this.


Oral displeasure

I think it’s only fair to point out that this young lady has actually signed a Mistress-Slave agreement ruling out any humiliating D/S play in public.  But not with you.  Go on – don’t keep her waiting.

 

 

 

Or she could put yet another hood over that one.  My SO loves to wrap me in layer after layer of latex hood and we play ‘find the air-hole’, which is a bit like ‘pass the parcel’ but with a strict time limit.

 

 

 

Your feelings do matter, obviously.  Just not to her.  Or Daniel.


 

 

It’ll be fine.  Dr Franley’s patients rarely complain.

 

Don’t get into one of those Mars/Venus misunderstandings by interpreting her words literally, OK?  I mean, she wants a present tomorrow too, obviously.


 

 

 

 

 

 

It started with a slap

 

Damn.  Maybe she gets more practice than you do… but then life doesn’t always have to be fair.

 

 

 

Bad in a good way, I hope.  And good in a bad one.

 

 

 

 

 

I think it’s great when wives respect their husbands enough to want to talk things through and hear their opinions, before taking important decisions.

 

 

They say being able to make women laugh is a great gift.




That’s another admirable characteristic in a partner: not being afraid to tackle the really painful stuff in the relationship.



 

 

Tender moments

I am in their loyalty programme.  I get to pay more when I book flights, as I accumulate points they demand ever more expensive gifts and on board I am treated with extra contempt.

 

 

I expect you’ll want to evaluate this proposition quite carefully.  I mean, that’s a lot of money to lend someone you barely know, just on the strength of… on the strength of… sorry, what were we talking about?

 

 

 

I can multi-task!  I can flounce and simper, both at the same time. 

 

 

 

 

As story-writers say, don’t tell: show.

 

Oh, I don’t know.  There are advantages.  For one thing, it’s not one of those wildly unrealistic fetishes that’s completely divorced from real life.  For example, I am actually a lazy, worthless and sexually unattractive male, deserving the contempt the women I know barely bother to conceal.  So I can live the dream, so to speak.


 

There is no fire

Music only a little related. But don’t you just love the way Mistress Lennox’s voice sort of… swoops in at the start? I do. And I tried to find a version with a video, and I found this and she looks lovely, but someone’s ringing a bell, playing an electric organ and generally messing up that opening.


Sigh.  First world problems…

More things follow:

I had this wonderful puppy play session in the park, the other day.  She did that thing of making me balance a twig on my nose in sitting position?  And then she backed slowly away saying ‘stay… stayyyy’.  It’s actually quite hard to stay still for long like that, so after only seven hours, I sneezed and the twig fell off. If I ever see her again, I’ll have to tell her and be punished. Exciting thought!

 

Oh, just a plain vanilla ball-crusher, then? OK, sorry.  Just go ahead.



I still remember the first time she called me a ‘lazy little bastard’…
It’s actually not quite true to say she doesn’t care. She enjoys making you cry. But she’s trying to spare your feelings, the dear thing.





Yup. All about the rules.






True love’s first slap

It’s a very special moment.

A lot of people don’t like the way St*rb*cks barristas ask for your name, now.  But I have a lot of fun with it. When it’s a young goddess, like this one, I get to be called “maggot” and “small-dick loser” for a fraction of the cost of even online humiliatrices, let alone a live session.  I don’t do it when it’s a man of course – except this one time, when they changed after taking my order and this 20 year-old guy called me “cumfaced pervert”?  That was kind of edgy, for me.






Not after having written them all out two hundred times, no.
This is Goddess Sophia, yet another lovely lady who has has the extreme misfortune to step into the puddle of slime that is Servitor in person and have to scrape him off the soles of her shoes.




It’s best to mark your possessions – or better yet, tag them with an RFID chip.


I wouldn’t have got myself into this mess, if playing cards made some kind of sense. Queens are lower than kings and aces?? How is anyone supposed to remember that?

 


Actually, it was the lipstick.


Respect cannot be earned

It can only be taught.  Something like that, anyway.  Now, more of this.


I’d ‘freely consent’, wouldn’t you?  Well… I mean, I would if I were free, obviously.

I’ll just try to hold it in, I think.  You wouldn’t believe how much fuss Travis makes when I ask him to do that. 

Later on, she started having twice-weekly sessions with her tennis instructor, ironically enough.
With this ring, I thee enslave.

Wow.  You could almost believe she actually intends to do it, huh?  Yum.


Hard-core scorn



Anyway, she can’t chat long.  She’s just off to the pet shop.  Wants to buy a couple of dogs, apparently.

It’ll be good when you’re married and you can just just be yourself.
I’m gender non-binary.  Well.. gender fractional, anyway.  About 1/7, my SO reckons.

Forgetfulness?

It’s good to know a domme with a really creative imagination.


Lip service

A good point.
I think she did, but I wasn’t listening.  Matter of fact, that’s one of the reasons I’m here.
This, I don’t need.

I hope she won’t be long.  Or too thick.









I’ve heard Gal isn’t keen in shaking hands with her many male fans.  I can’t imagine why not.

Marital law


I know how to satisfy my wife sexually.  I just have to hire some help to do it in practice.

Depends what you define as a problem.  There’s obviously going to be a lot of screaming, for a start, and – what’s that you say?  She doesn’t mind the screaming?  Oh, OK then.  No, I don’t think there’s going to be any kind of problem.

Of course, she doesn’t regard him as being on the same level as all her appliances.  She’s a lot closer to her vibrator, for a start.

You should keep the little teensie condoms around, though.  You might get lucky, after all!  How many have you got left?  Three?  Oh yes, that should be more than enough.  The honeymoon only lasts two weeks, after all.







Aunt Clarissa’s used to slightly looser men, of course. I mean, Uncle Arnold hasn’t spent a day without a butt-plug since the 1960s, I understand.
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