Category: lady in red
She’s got it
And she’s quite prepared to use it, so stop arguing and bend over.
Up to her
Pointing turns
Yup, those. Number forty in an occasional… forty? Forty?? Bloody hell, how long have I been doing this blog?
Far and wide of the mark
Regular ‘readers’ of this blog who actually bother to look at the words, instead of just beating off to the pictures of pretty ladies looking stern, will realise that much of its ‘humour’ is inspired by the style of Gary Larson’s cartoon The Far Side.
Where ‘inspired’ in this context means “a pathetic and embarassing attempt to publish femdom porn in a manner that is spuriously justified”
This week’s ‘special’ (no, not your monthly ‘special’, you have to ask Mistress for that) is a collection of captions that are particularly blatant rip-offs of close homages to that style. Without, obviously, either (a) infringing anyone’s intellectual property rights or (b) being funny.
Enjoy. Or don’t. I get paid just as much either way.
Foolish things
Owning him
Oh, if there is one Lady I’d love to see again, it is Lady Sophia Black. She lit our lives up like a, like a… hmm… comet? No, something brighter. Like a flamethrower, then retired too soon, too too soon.
An unfair crack of the whip
It’s the best kind.
True love’s first slap
Yes, it’s Valentine’s Day, a day when humiliation freaks worldwide will rush down to the letterbox in the morning, to revel deliciously in the proof that once again, not a single one of the three billion females in the world has the slightest romantic interest in any of us.
Actually, I did once receive a Valentine card, from this girl I really fancied at school and didn’t have the courage to tell of my feelings for her, but it turned out it she had sent it to the wrong address and it was intended for someone else. Goodness, how everyone laughed and laughed when that little mix-up was revealed in class, after I got down on my knees to confess my long-standing love for her. I hope she wasn’t too humiliated by her error being exposed so publicly, poor thing.
I do have a couple of Valentine-themed captions, as it happens, but not a
full set of five, so I thought I’d… what’s that, readers? You say you don’t
give a flying fuck whether I creatively theme the blog or not? That you
just want to masturbate to images of pretty ladies saying humiliating
or vaguely menacing things, so why don’t I shut the fuck up and get on
with it?
Oh. OK then.
Wow. No time for second thoughts – let’s tie the knot! |
Selecting honesty level two would have got you “Oh… it’s all right, I suppose. A bit below average but I’ve seen worse.” |
Funny how it still feels just like that very first date you went on together. Some relationships are like that, but it’s very rare. |
When life gives you lemons…
…strap him down to a table, clip his eyelids open and squeeze the juice into them.
Too unpleasant for you? Then you definitely will not want to watch this clip of women (as the title indicates) brutally torturing men to death.
No, seriously, you won’t. That clip is not some kind of happy S&M consensual game, nor are the terrified victims saved at the last minute from the evil torturers (don’t you hate it when that happens in mainstream movies?). It is possibly the most unpleasant, brutal mainstream clip I have ever seen. Very nasty stuff.
I mean, who could possibly enjoy that sort of thing? You’d have to be a truly sick weirdo to get any kind of sexual pleasure from that. Simply horrible, it is. Vile.
Mmmm.
Anyway, on we go!
Some poor sod’s going to have to clean that up, you know. |
‘Non-lethal’ is how I like my femdom play. |
Yes, let’s hope Ellie doesn’t take it out on them. She’d got a terrible temper, you know. |
The people have spoken… the ones wanking online, anyway, and that’s good enough for her. |
Thank goodness none of that applies to any of us, eh readers? Imagine the (fully justified) self-loathing you’d have to feel to get off on something like this. |