Month: March 2024

Louring ladies

Don’t worry, lots of bridegrooms… no, hang on. Do worry.
This is her ‘girlfriend experience’ service and if you ask me, it’s startlingly realistic.
I used to think I was my own worst enemy, but my SO managed to wean me off those self-loathing thoughts by listing all the people (or at least, the top twenty among our close friends) who loathe me even more.
Good night, sweet princess.
You don’t need motivating, as you’ll be strapped down and helpless.
They serve coffee too – and water to help settle the boys’ stomachs, but most Mistresses prefer them unsettled.

Important news

And people say that print media aren’t relevant any more. Vanity Fair, April 2024, has the biggest story of the year.

Because there’s…

…and if we go into some details of this astonishing scoop, there’s, well, um…

…and that’s not even mentioning the…

…and there’s even…

…oh, and in case you’re wondering, they also…

… and I think that strange ringing sound I’m hearing in my ears might be my brain trying to explode, so I’d better go and put my head under a nice cold tap, now.

Idol thoughts

Think of what a relief it must be, not to be in any danger of suffering one of those unwanted and embarassing erections during the shoot. It just helps keep things professional, as they should be (although not ‘professional’ in the sense she’s actually paying you, obviously).
Everyone laughed at me when I bet on him, but I think I could be making a lot of money here!
My SO says gags really suit me and I can’t argue with that.
I expect you never imagined a woman like that would ever take an interest in you, did you? But she is – very – and so are all her friends.
Of course, they vary it a bit. Today he had a nice big empty bowl of cereal for breakfast, nothing soup for lunch and he has a big juicy nothingburger to look forward to for dinner.
Some men think that women who dress provocatively are just asking for it – you can easily spot them, these days, as they’re the ones walking around in t-shirts reading “Please kick me in the balls.”

Prank-mags

Some more very bad attempts to create magazine covers. Just ignore me and I’ll probably stop doing this, out of embarassment, sooner or later.

AFM has already been mentioned in several captions in the blog, so I thought I’d give ‘readers’ a glimpse of what it looks like. Frankly, once you’ve seen one issue you’ve pretty much seen them all, I think, although remarkably it’s now in its seventeenth year of publication. It just goes to show, as I always like to say (when I can’t think of any other way of finishing a comment off).
They always have a celebrity interview but, like the divine Ms Kidman’s in this issue, it’s usually disappointingly short.
It’s a top-shelf magazine, of course, mainly so that laughably short sissies have to blushingly ask a big tall man (or, if they’re very lucky: woman) to reach it down for them.

Thanks be to women

Aw… he’s going to be all bashful and get confused as he tries to stutter out his question, now. But she won’t mind: she’s nice.
My own employer set up a taskforce to evaluate some external dominatrix service providers – we trialled five of them, which was a bit exhausting for me, as the only male on the team. In the end, though, the choice was easy as the cheapest option surprisingly also turned out to be the most painful. It pays to shop around.
So, ermmm, what are you both up to these days? Apart from this, obviously.

A pair of wonderful French dominatrices there: on the right, the talented and beautiful Maîtresse Blanche who has had the dubioius pleasure of inserting various medical things into Servitor and peeing on me, while on the left I believe is la talentueuse et belle Maîtresse Euryale, who probably has much better facilities into which to relieve herself… but I hope some day may yet find a stinking load of raw, untreated Servitor piled up on her doorstep needing humane disposal.

It’s important not to boil them for too long or you can lose the flavour.
It’s nice to have a change of scene but you know what it’s like with holidays… 24 hours after you get home it’s as if you never left.
Give me the real thing any day. I believe Ms Cassie Hunter is on the shortlist to star in the new one: 50 Shades: Black and Blue.

Angel with the scourge

Two scourging angels, ready to inspire and if need be correct, profoundly religious thoughts.
Of course, it doesn’t need to be reserved solely for cuckold play. Plenty of uses for a pillory and it’s not like she has someone in her bed every night of the week,
Question asked, question answered. Time to move on.
Opinion among mistresses is divided as to whether it’s a good idea for sissies to have thinking time. Why spend so much time doing something they’re not good at?
Her brutality is rarely, if ever, unreasonable.
More and more women are discovering the fun that can be had with a golf club, especially in the company of a supportive man.

Darling, it was positively savage!

To provide welcome relief from the brutal vulgarity of much of today’s femdom, here are some more Downton Domination captions, recalling a more elegant age when brutality was not so vulgar.

Taking on a governess just on the offchance that at some point you might have children might have seemed an unnecessary expenditure at the time, but actually it’s been the best decision she ever took.
Not yet, no.
If you can’t, I’m sure she can. Or you could ask Reynolds what she thinks, although her approach might be less refined, as she’s from a rough background.
Much more civilised.
A perfect place to engage in traditional country pursuits.
Of course she knows she’ll have to give him back eventually, but there’s no rush, is there? Anyway, they started it.*

* Yes they did, they invaded Poland.

Motivating thoughts

He does the actions, too. Those consist of thrashing around frantically, in a futile attempt to dodge the strokes.
Try not to objectify her when you’re hanging there. No woman likes to feel like a piece of meat.
Wow – she’s not just a barrista, she’s a startup! You could invest in her, be one of those… what do they call them, angels! I’m sure she’d guarantee you a very fair return.
Sorry about the poor picture quality. But the expression was sooo perfect.
She’s just trifling with your feelings.
Try not to be too nervous. Just nervous enough, that’ll be fine.

Serving her right

Don’t worry, you’ll have plenty of opportunities to practise. And she’s happy to help you learn from your mistakes: it’s part of her job as your wife, as she sees it.
Yeah, it’s just pain. If the pain doesn’t work she’ll try inflicting permanent damage plus – obviously – a whole lot more pain. She can cope with all of it; she’s very strong.
OK! And according to her spreadsheet, the next scheduled release should be… hmm… yesterday. Perhaps she forgot. So much for all that mathematical accuracy, eh?
I had an abscess – horrible business. And unlike the nice wife in this caption, my SO wouldn’t let me go to the dentist straight away – said she wanted to enjoy it for a few days. Still, I can’t begrudge her her little pleasures; she does so much for me.
It can be tempting for dommes to use sissy submissives for all their routine business needs, but when dealing with IT matters it’s always best to bear in mind that they’re empty-headed little ninnies with the analytical skills of a blancmange.

The divine Lexi Sindel there, along with some of her property.

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