plastic surgery – Contemplating the divine

Of course it’s your fault, darling

You’re male aren’t you? Well then.

Many males object to being secured permanently in this way, but it does reduce the stress of uncertainty, don’t you think? Or of her losing the key.

Now, that is so not true. She’s doing a lot… for me, anyway.

Fortunately, boys these days don’t need maths skills to keep track of their orgasms – women are happy to do that for them and the numbers are never that large anyway.

She’s usually generous with her time; doesn’t wind things up immediately just because the session’s reached its scheduled end-time. But you can wait, right? ‘Course you can.

I’m sure he will. She has many unhappy customers.

That looks like a much better-ordered office than the one I started work in, many many years ago, where I had an embarrassing moment on my first day when I discovered that ‘dress code’ didn’t necessarily imply wearing a dress. I think some places just do these things to catch new joiners out, especially very stupid ones like me.

More in indifference than in anger

Actually, female spiders eat their mates in only a minority of spider species and you’re in luck – the one that bit her is not from one of them. So I’m not even sure why she’s doing this, actually, but I’m sure if you point that fact out she’ll let you go.

Actually, the company medical plan does cover males but only for a few, specified surgical procedures.

Just go with it, see where it takes you. She’s not going to rush anything, plenty of time.

You might develop a foot fetish, eventually. And if you can develop a fetish for doing chores too you should have a very enjoyable marriage. Oh – and findom, too. Yeah, you definitely want to try to get into findom because there’s going to be a lot of that.

Irony… it’s like rain on your wedding day – which actually isn’t all that ironic, it’s just bloody uncomfortable, take it from me, especially when you’re chained up naked outside the church waiting for the bride.

Heels over head in love

Like many submissive men, I pay not to have sex.

At school, once, this boy and I were talking about some girl and he said “I’d like to get in her knickers!” So when, a few weeks later, after a midnight excursion, I was able to tell him I was in her knickers, I thought he’d be jealous. But he wasn’t, oddly enough. It was just a misunderstanding. How we laughed. The whole class laughed, if I remember rightly.

Benji is actually the Honourable Sir Benjamin Kettleworth-Harcourt, FRCS, but of course he can neither remember nor pronounce that.

Married couples should talk about their interests more.

How does she know I’m scrumptious? I didn’t detect a French accent, there.

See what’s on the slahhhb

I see you shiver with contemmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmplation!

Ah, were would we be without Mistress Eleise de Lacey, eh? I mean, my sheets would be a lot cleaner, just for a start.

Yes, that would work.

Goodness, there she is again. How does she do that? Unless she has a twin…

If the examining officer can still bend her elbow, the search isn’t complete.

Oh, sometimes one should just give in to temptation.

Commanding respect

Or the one before that.

I like to leave these details to my wife too. She’s better at that sort of thing.

Return of an old friend.

On the plus side, they do get lots of great shots of dommes looking really pissed-off. On the minus, a lot of expensive cameras have been smashed. Oh – and the photographer’s been hospitalised once or twice too.