Don’t worry, I’m sure she’ll get the hang of it.

I once had a date with a girl who claimed never even to have heard of SPH, but she was really good at it.  I guess some people are naturals.

“Let the butt plug take the strain” was actually one of my few successes when I worked as an advertising copywriter.

On your toes and bent over – at the same time.  Welcome to the modern marriage.


Marriage service

The marriage is still going to be based on respect – a lot of respect. It’s just not going to be mutual.

It’s actually quite enlightening, being lent out to former, vanilla, girlfriends.  There’s all sorts of things you discover you did, or said, during the relationship that you’ve long since forgotten but they’re eager to discuss.

Of course, she can’t expect perfection, and she doesn’t.  She just requires it, that’s all.
The other lady has the rings ready – and he’s already been pierced, so they can just be welded on.
I was still being spanked by my mother at home when I met my first girlfriend, actually.  She was one of my sister’s friends who’d come round to do some homework, and she came downstairs to find out what all the noise was about.

The weakness in me

If only you could afford her.

The claustrophobes are the easiest to deal with.  They just go in the box: no need for spiders, snakes or anything.

Who needs a fetish club when you can get what you need at home?

Vows.  That’s what’s next.  Lots of vows.

People are her greatest assets.

Cower pose

Actually, little wifey has a spare and could easily be persuaded that medical monitoring at work is important too.
Remember: she loves you and would never want to cause you any pain.  But sometimes she feels she has to.
Nicer, but dimmer.
It’s quite a slow way to communicate.  But effective.

She believes equally in strict maternal and uxorial discipline.

And when force is gone, there’s always Mom

Hi Mom!

She’s right you know.  It’s the first thing a new husband should learn: always ask permission.  Humbly.  Even when she’s being an impossible girl.

Boundaries, consequences… firmness.  I was reading about it in a book about making your marriage work.  Well… I say it was about marriage. Technically, it was about dog training.  But the principles are the same.

Best years of his life.  And many, many more to come, I suspect.

I am.  They have a mission statement, you know. It’s quite inspiring.  Oh… now what was it again?

Boundaries, consequences.  Didn’t I tell you?

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