(Oh yes – it is!).
Not – you’ll be relieved to hear – the full British panto experience rendered in femdom. I only go to see the principal boy strutting around in tights for the topical humour anyway. But there’s usually a fairy speaking in bad rhyming couplets and this is what we have.
I’m Tinkerbell, by magic bound
To grant three wishes, when I’m found
So wish away, don’t take your time
And I’ll reply, in magic rhyme!
You wish for wealth beyond compare?
Check on your app – the money’s there!
Twelve zeroes end your balance sum
Be sure to spend it wisely, chum!
Your second wish – more altruistic?
That’s my hope, if unrealistic.
The choice is yours, good human, make a
Wish for peace, don’t be a ‘taker’!
You want a bigger cock – that’s all?
Not peace on earth, nor food for all?
All right, I’ll grant what you’re proposing
One large penis: quite imposing.
Now your third wish, say it quickly
Tinkerbell is feeling sickly
Something selfish, I don’t doubt it
State your wish – and quick about it!
A woman sexy, always young?
Who’ll love and worship with her – eugh! – tongue?
Fear not, my magic’s pretty good!
A girl who’ll treat you as she should!
A woman conjured from afar
Who’ll love you just for what you are!
A selfish beast, a greedy fool
With cash galore and massive tool.
Now who could love a pig like that?
Of course! A findomme! Savage brat
She’ll drain your savings, keep you frantic
Lock away that cock gigantic!
Yes: a findomme, brutal, bitchy
Now my magic’s getting witchy!
Casting spells for evil wishers
Here’s your findomme – blonde and vicious!
Princess Spoilt – I’m Tinkerbell.
I brought you here and wish you well.
This human’s yours; do as you please
But make him suffer – on his knees.
He’s rich and well-endowed, I’d say
So what a shame I made you gay!
But when you’re bored with mere temptation
Feel free to move on to –
Hmm. What rhymes with temptation? I’m usually so good with rhymes. Well, my dear Princess Spoilt, I’ll leave you to fill in that last one, OK?
And so I’ll say goodbye, Princess
Although your lips, I’ll here confess
Are tempting, full and ruby red…
Oh fuck it, let’s just go to bed.