laundry – Contemplating the divine

In place of a dark lord, you will have a queen! Not dark but beautiful and terrible as the dawn!

Treacherous as the sea! Stronger than the foundations of the earth! All shall love her and despair!

More fairy-things and fantasy follies.

Gaming has historically been a male-dominated space, but as computer games become more like the real world, female players are naturally going to take charge.

Don’t worry: she’s not one of those bleeding-heart liberal types. But she does believe that young offenders should be given a second chance, after a suitable short – or sometimes quite long – sharp shock and that one should never give up on trying to reform a young lad, no matter how much effort it takes.

If it doesn’t work out, she can always revert to a previous save and – oh, she’s playing on Irongirl mode? OK, I guess it’s the eternal agony, then.

I must report that I have fallen in love with this particular lady, who appears in an annoyingly low proportion of the gaming-related skits featured here. Here she is being very lovely, for instance. And here. No femdom, unless you count effortless goddess-like perfection as femdom.

They mostly got used to their new lives and some even got to like it. The main speaker was a bit unlucky, though, as he was stolen from a washing line by a group of teenage boys and spent the rest of his days being used as a masturbation aid… but we can’t always choose our paths in life, can we?

Don’t worry, she’ll find it. I’m sure she doesn’t want you to stay tiny and helpless forever, after all!

The story of Beauty and the Beast is quite mixed-up too, for some reason having the Beast magically transform back into a prince at the end, instead of being domesticated by Belle through her rigorous training regime.

Angels and beasts

My SO had me on my hands and knees for three hours once, crawling around looking for her contact lens, which is mad, really, since she doesn’t even wear them. Still, it did solve the usual problem I have at those parties of not knowing what to say to anyone.

Rookie error: he should have been expressing *gratitude* for feeling cold, after all the trouble she went to to make sure he would. Still, I’m sure there will be other opportunities, especially now autumn is here.

She didn’t even bother to check whether you’re already spoken for – rather selfish behaviour if there’s a findomme somewhere depending on your monthly pay cheque for her next handbag.

She does, but the weekly session tribute is quite high, so you need to be doing at least seventy loads of laundry each day before it starts to pay. Fortunately there’s a lot of demand: after all, it’s a lot cheaper than using one of the machines.

There’s lots of stuff they both enjoy, but Lucy has a thing about eye-torture; she’s tried, because she knows how much her girlfriend enjoys it, but she just isn’t into it. If it’s just a quick thing, like a cigarette being stubbed out, she can just put her fingers in her ears, shut her eyes and sing but you can’t keep that up for an hour (two hours, even, if it’s both eyes, one after the other).

He is in fact made to writhe on the ground in agony, sometimes, but that’s a different thing, she’s not doing it to punish him.

I live in a world of fantasy, so keep your reality away from me

More captions departing from this unduly real world we are unfortunate enough to live in.

As the tale is all about seven short-arse males doing hard labour in a mine to provide diamonds for a beautiful princess twice their size, it’s surprising there aren’t more femdom interpretations of Snow White. But there’s this.

They wanted her to get her tits out for the lads, apparently, so once again the moral is don’t wish for it if you don’t want it.

You’re helping raise a new generation of pretty, flitting fairies.

Thank goodness the brave lads of the village have their loyal womenfolk standing right behind them.

Of course, this is merely fantasy – the male actors in Ella Enchanted didn’t really have to wear chastity belts. That only came later in Ms Hathaway’s career, when she was famous enough to insist on some on-set conditions in her studio contracts.

If that’s what she wants

Actually, she doesn’t really need gloves either, since she’s mostly going to be working on kicks and knee-ups today.

She’s just making him uncomfortable before she really gets to work. Putting him at his unease, so to speak.

Mr Wuffles is allowed to rub himself against her leg, too, which doesn’t seem at all fair.

Women are amazing at multitasking, while men barely task at all, unless someone is standing over them with a whip.

Oh, and the word “not” has been deleted from Article 42, about castration, but that’s just tidying-up.

If one of her piggies is going to get into serious financial difficulties, she prefers it not to be for a good reason or any worthwhile cause.

Manservants

A surprising number of men marry women who turn out to be like their mothers. This one didn’t.

Oh well, at least there’s less of all that making sure you turn up neither too early nor one second late, while also not hanging around the area where the dungeon is, so as not to annoy her neighbours. If you know what I mean. He’s just up at 6am and into role straight away, every day.

She can forgive anything except bad coffee. Or messy laundry-folding. And a few other things, now I think of it.

It’s not entirely pointless, as, after he’s gone and is sitting gingerly in a nearby bar feeling the glow, Herrin Anneliese has a 4 pm session, in which she plans to make her slave carry it all back, so that needs setting up.

The limit may be hard but steel is harder. And these ladies are harder still.

And of course his hands would be neatly cuffed behind him, to keep them out of the way.

Vive la difference!

Another post pointing out the various ways in which vanilla sex is just plain weird, as well as weirdly plain. Vanilla vs. Femdom – no contest, really, is it?

Fairy tale romances

Yes, more scenes from stories of brave princesses rescuing – or not – helpless knights and suchlike. A ‘happy ending’ every time – without even the need to plead and beg for it.

They get porridge to eat, of course, and it’s always ‘just right’ too, despite being cold and lumpy.

Ah, the first electric shock of married life. I remember mine so well. It’s traditional for the husband then to ask his loving wife ‘How long do I have to wear this, darling?’ to which the correct response is of course a peal of delighted laughter.

You do get a say. Not the decisive say, not even an important one, but a say, anyway. Or a squeak, at least.

It’s not as easy a life as you might imagine – those pegs hurt just as much as they would if they were suspending a ‘normal’ male body, for instance.

The grateful populace of the kingdom later began a tradition of staging a re-enactment every year, to celebrate their beloved King’s heroic deed, although obviously, lacking centaurs, they had to use ordinary horses and stable-lads.

He may have found a comfortable place to live, but he remains vigilent. As he trots obediently at her heel, or chases madly after sticks, Sir Foofles is always alert for possible witches in the vicinity, but so far he has never found any. Perhaps they don’t exist? That would certainly explain it.

Hot and oppressive

No, not the weather. Alas. Just these ladies. Hoorah.

I’m still having problems with the stupid firewall, sorry. But if you have tried to comment and requested access, do come back a day or two later! A couple of times recently I’ve approved access for people who don’t then seem to have used the access and commented. In principle, it should always work after I’ve approved you, at least for the same IP address. You just have to keep trying, as my SO wearily remarked the other day, as she took the cane back down from its hook and gestured for me to bend over the chair.