Category: ironing and irony
Whipping Cords Will Serve You More Than Ropes Will Ever Do
Mistress Apple, there, of course and she’s right, they will.
Off to your mystery honeymoon destination. Exciting! |
Peggy pegs. |
People can be so cruel. Especially men. Bastards. |
He can explore his submisive side. Or not. It really won’t make much of a difference either way. |
And I will bare my soul in time
…when I’m kneeling at your feet.
I think we can agree, though, that it’s hardly femdom to expect men to do their share of the ironing. Including – obviously – making up for the backlog of several thousand years when they didn’t. |
So we did. I wonder what we’ll decide today. |
Good thing there’s a woman in charge to take those tough decisions. |
Sissy didn’t actually understand the book anyway. Men should go out to work, take decsions, look after their own lives? Terrifiying. |
It’s a bluff. I think it’s a bluff. |
They can beg and they can plead
…but they can’t see the light.
Are you sitting uncomfortably? Then she’ll begin. |
You’re actually already halfway through the session. Might as well finish off. |
Good. Good. I expect she’ll be chucking away all those dusty old wine bottles in the cellar and filling up the racks with some nice fresh sparkling wine with cheerful labels, too. |
If it’s any consolation to him, after her friend has finished the face-slapping session tomorrow, he will look like a house elf. |
And if she goes away, I’m like someone who’s left out in the rain.
Cos you can’t beat a bit of E.L.O.
Some days you just can’t seem to get up. |
I wonder if they do ‘extras’? |
Damn. She’s catching on. |
OK. |
Well, a halfsome anyway. |
Lap of honour
She uses a system of rewards and penalties. Some days, when you’ve done particularly well, you’re rewarded by not being penalised. |
I wasn’t a service oriented submissive when I started out, but my SO sent me on an orientation course. |
The other things are negotiable. Just go ahead and negotiate – but you do have to be in position first, OK? |
In any marriage, learning when to communicate – and when to stay silent – is as important as learning how. |
Unreasonable force
He’s a lucky guy. |
Cruelty-free farming has its downsides. Still, I’m glad she found a solution. |
Oh dear. Another of those painful conversations. |
Actually, the story is rather simple. The post of office tampon boy was advertised, so he studied, and prepared and pulled every string he knew of to get it. But wouldn’t you? |
Report an abusive image
…if you spot any of those, do let me know, won’t you?
No taxation without, err…. |
Sounds exciting. |
I always find the washing instructions on clothes hard to understand. So did he, apparently. |
It wouldn’t really be asking permission if she didn’t say no, now and then, would it? |
It rarely is, actually. In fact, I don’t know about you but I’ve always found the standard travel phrasebooks to be pretty useless in session. I’m thinking of writing in to complain. |
There must be an angel
It’s amazing what you can achieve with a little thoughtfulness and the daily touch of a razor-sharp blade. |
When the cat’s away, the mice will.. well, do their chores and write lines, by the look of it. |
Sometimes these things are just, well, involuntary aren’t they? It’s not that she wants to burn your hand with the iron – she just feels a compulsion. |
She’s probably joking. Don’t you think she’s joking? |
There are more hot chicks in empire-line dresses right here, if that’s your thing. According to Google, though, I’m the only person in the world for whom “hot chicks in empire-line dresses” is a thing, so maybe not. |
Through the window
Oh, hi Mr Travis!
Are you leaning out just to say hi to me, or are you –
Oh dear. Again? Oh poor you. I think it’s awful the way she makes you bend over the window sill like that when she’s going to beat you. It must be so humiliating! I guess that’s part of the punishment, huh?
So what did you do this time?
Did you? Oh. We girls are quite particular about the way we have our dresses ironed. Ask your lodger next time – I might be able to give you some advice. Pleats are hard, though.
So is it the paddle again? I had a friend who used to get the paddle from his dad when I was a kid. He used to say it hurt like hell. One day his dad caught him saying that and paddled him double for profanity. Kinda fair, I guess.
No? Oh. I thought you got the paddle. What are you getting then?
A what? A “quirt”? What’s that?*
Oh. You mean, kind of like a whip? Oh boy, that sounds pretty rough. You get that just for messing up the ironing? Gee, you get whipped just for pleats not being straight. Your wife is kinda strict, huh?
Second time? Oh, OK. I guess you got the paddle last time, huh? Well, didn’t that make you kinda take extra care, this time, – and –
Yeah. Well, pleats are hard.
OK. Well anyway, I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable. I mean – I guess you’ll feel uncomfortable enough pretty soon! I’ll just swing here for a bit. I’ll try not to look at you, when –
Oh, hi Mrs Travis! How are you?
Yeah, pretty good. Isn’t it great that the sun’s out again? I could just be out here all day.
Hmmm? No, no he hasn’t been round with the lawnmower for a while. Well… yeah, he did say he would. But it’s OK. I quite like the grass this long. Any time’s fine.
No really, I don’t mind! I’m sure he had other things to do and – well, all right. I guess he’s your husband, huh?
Oh – and if he’s coming round anyway? Do you think he could cut back some of the bushes, going back to the garden house? Only they’re growing over the side and it’s… Well, I guess I could just ask him. But I thought I’d check with you first, because – oh wow, is that the ‘quirt’? Boy, I’m glad that’s not for me. Wow, that’s pretty serious, huh? What’s it like when it –
OH!
Oh my god! Did you just – ? Wow, that was a real crack, like a – oh my god. Are you sure he’s OK? He looks kinda – oh are you gonna do it agai – Oh MY GOD!
(Hurriedly) OK, well, I can see you guys want to get on with it so – OH! Wow! Three. That must really hurt! – yeah, I’ll just… actually, I left my book inside. See you!
The end
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