A fairy tale romance

A fantasy-themed post, so unlike the gritty realism that normally charcterises this blog’s witterings.

Oddly, when Sissylocks later experienced the three paddles, she didn’t like any of them at all.
Well, a 50% chance of a swift painless stomp anyway. Depends on how the coin falls. But don’t worry: they’d never use their witchcraft to try to influence the outcome of a fair wager like that.
What a lovely story. I hope it never ends.
I don’t think those are bears. Bears are usually bigger, hairier and have beards.

The part of Goldilocks in this image was played by the magnificent… oh, you know who that is don’t you? Of course you do. But have you met her and sessioned with her? I have! Lucky lucky me.

If you do get the feeling that the cats might have it, try not to wiggle it or anything, or they’ll start playing with it. Cats can be cruel like that, but they don’t mean any harm: it’s just their natures.
I guess he’s a pup reporter! Sorry…

Grimm tales

More fairy-themed fantasy folly.

A fairy grants you wishes three / So never wish to buggered be / For if you do ’twill come to pass / And you must take it up the arse.
Actually, the female sensibility that men have for centuries maligned as ‘witchcraft’ is really just about being more in touch with nature, more attuned to the rhythms of the natural world. Men find that hard to understand, but a few years spent living as a toad can help.
She could have just learnt to do ventriloquism but this seemed a lot easier.
You could wish to taste particularly yummy? That would make her happy. You want to make her happy, don’t you?
Again, it’s a lot easier this way. I mean, have you ever tried to assemble any of the human furniture IKEA sells? Nightmare.
Don’t worry, she’ll probably get bored after a billion years or two.

In days of old

… when knights were bold. Some possibly a little too bold, as we shall see.

It’s sometimes hard to understand why people think modern democratic systems of choosing leaders are superior. I mean, what better qualification for government could there be than murdering all your relatives? OK, Charles III didn’t do that (Liz Truss, it was, who offed our beloved Queen) but that’s just because the world has gone soft.
Another good system, this time for selecting royal consorts. Might have less-than-ideal evolutionary consequences after centuries of the same approach, admittedly.
This is actually a faithful account of a real world D&D experience I had. In fact, almost every D&D evening I can recall ended with my experiencing some kind of anal violation… just unlucky with the old D20s, I guess.
Honour was upheld, as was his cock before the cheering crowd.

…and finally, a succession of knights all seeking the same evil witch but who all ended up encountering a different lady entirely. What are the chances?

She’s one of these women that just accumulates stuff around her home. It’s silly, really. I mean, she’s already got at least five boot-scrapers, six if you count the one she’s planted flowers in.
That is indeed very confusing. Fortunately, being a hitching post isn’t at all complicated: even the stupidest males can cope.
Oh dear. Looks like no one’s ever going to find that evil witch. Still, this Solstice Feast sounds fun. Apparently she always has a knight there specially for the feast, it’s the tradition.

Savage beauties

She thinks that there are always other credit cards.  And she’s right, of course, there are. They don’t all belong to the same male but that doesn’t matter.
Many married couples never discuss money, but in the best-run marriages it’s discussed once and that’s that.
Kafka-trapping, eh?  Curiously enough, George has always fantasised about this. I hope he enjoys the real thing just as much.
If she dreads it that much, why not just decide not to make him wear the No. 5s?  Women are hard to understand sometimes.
Almost all the guys she fucks are insensitive brutes, so she needs someone in her life who cares about her feelings.  Let’s hope he learns a bit of empathy.

Hear her roar

 … and hear me squeak.


I’m not allowed to look my SO in the eye under any circumstances, so for that (and other) reasons this situation never arises for me.


Loving brutal domination… that hits the sweet spot (repeatedly, raising welts and leaving it throbbing and sore).

Hard to understand atheists who say there’s no such thing as a divine being, in a world on which Mistress Eleise walks among us.


I wouldn’t mind but it’s seven floors up and the male lift (‘elevator’, Americans but you knew that right?) has been out of action all week.


It’s odd how often I find myself begging my SO for mercy, when begging her for brutal and gleeful ferocity would be so much more likely to succeed.




It’s actually quite common for bridegrooms to feel a little nervous and apprehensive before giving up their their body and eternal soul to the control of a callous and evil witch the big day. Looks like she has a potion that will rob you of any means of resistance just the solution. I guess that’s you damned to an eternity of suffering and torment why you’re marrying her, right?




Fairy tale romances

A purpose for your life – at last!



Magic mirror seems to understand his place, anyway.  I’m sure her fairy tale prince will learn the same lesson – possibly even with the threat of the same hammer.



Stand up for yourself!  Who’s the boss in this relationship anyway?

Cruella of course.  Still going strong.  And a bit of a change of scene from the bleak Northern landscapes, as some of their lovely ladies got to go to Spain recently, thank goodness.



She’s trying to make the best of it… why can’t you?

 

No spoilers… but I can tell you she’s determined to live happily ever after.

 

 

 

 

When things are looking good there’s always complications

 (but the song is actually about a car)

 

Don’t worry, it’s still quite fresh.

 

 

You don’t want Kitten to get cross again.  Kitten has very sharp claws.

 

 

Oh well.  Arguably ‘lightening the mood’ isn’t really appropriate at the start of a strict disciplinary session anyway.  Better just get on with it.

 

 

She could try telling him it’s kinder this way, but that wouldn’t really be true.

 

No, not ‘talking it through’.  I mean, she does still intend to talk it all through.  But only after putting her brilliant idea into practice, when he’s in a more receptive mood.

It’s savage and it’s cruel

And it shines like destruction.  Mistress Lennox, of course, and her beardy boy.


There’s an important difference.  Voyeurs get sexual gratification from watching other people have sex, while humiliation freaks get sexual gratification from not getting sexual gratification.



Unlike many wives, his wife doesn’t at all mind his going to strip clubs and suchlike with his mates.  She must be very open-minded.



Actually, I’m feeling a bit queasy.  Is that supposed to happen?



Easy mistake to make: most of their ponies are geldings already.  Surprising he’s lasted this long, really.  Maybe they’ve been busy.



Oh well.  It doesn’t hurt to ask, as long as she’s in a good mood.




Verified by MonsterInsights