Uncategorised – Contemplating the divine

More captions loosely inspired by the comedic style (but not achieving the comedic effect) of the Far Side. Slightly more whimsical than usual, anyway. Whatever. Also more than the average amount of tennis.

But only if she says you can

Consent is so important in femdom, don’t you agree? So many men in the scene just don’t get that: but the way I see it, if you’re down on your knees and you want to get up but she doesn’t give her explicit consent, then that’s an absolute no-no. No ifs, no buts, no pleading. So what if your knees are hurting? Women have a right to decide what to do with their own males and that’s that.

Keep calm. It’s probably just one of those deals in which they remain attached to you but they’re ‘technically’ hers, you know? To kick and crush whenever she likes. Anyway, you might win. The King’s got to be the most powerful piece, right? And you’ve still got that.

If you think about it, it’s actually quite arrogant for a human male to think he deserves better treatment than a ‘real’ dog. I mean, dogs are quite intelligent, so if anything it should be the other way around.

Actually, one of the guys with a beard just behind her is wearing women’s slacks* under his shorts, so it’s not just you.

Just another stunningly beautiful woman (Nata Lee), lounging around in red lingerie until she gets cross and decides it’s time to put you over her lap and smack your bottom until you cry. Contemplating the Divine… because ‘real life’ is over-rated.

Of course the normal guys don’t pay anything like as much for making the mess as you have to to clean it up. But then if life was fair I guess we wouldn’t have femdom.

Anya’s a lot more relaxed and open about her AFM past then many A-listers. No names but if you happen to own a copy of April 2013, there’s a certain Hollywood megastar actress who’d pay a lot to get hold of it and remove it, permanently… or would pay someone else a lot to do the same to you.

I’m not a crossdresser (not by choice, anyway) but this actress’s understanding but ever so slightly amused expression is just perfect, don’t you think?

Just a quick word, darling?

Particularly annoying as I missed it last month for putting too *little* milk in. Still, once I finally get it right, everything should be fine.

Sometimes couples are more compatible than they realise. Now they can be open and honest with each other, I expect their relationship will become a lot deeper.

She just slipped him into something incomparably less comfortable.

Important to remember where your loyalties lie. I’m sure Mike has no doubts on that score.

She just likes to know where he is – especially if it’s ‘on the floor writhing around in pain and screaming apologies’.

Immature poets imitate; mature poets steal

As you know, this blog features immature material on mature themes so I suppose I do both these things.

NB: anyone playing the game of ‘guess the original song/poetry* won’t succeed with this one, as it’s just a handy safety mnemonic. Y’know like: “Stub it out on arse or thighs, he’ll lose his sight if in his eyes.”

* But did you get all the rest?

Manservants

A surprising number of men marry women who turn out to be like their mothers. This one didn’t.

Oh well, at least there’s less of all that making sure you turn up neither too early nor one second late, while also not hanging around the area where the dungeon is, so as not to annoy her neighbours. If you know what I mean. He’s just up at 6am and into role straight away, every day.

She can forgive anything except bad coffee. Or messy laundry-folding. And a few other things, now I think of it.

It’s not entirely pointless, as, after he’s gone and is sitting gingerly in a nearby bar feeling the glow, Herrin Anneliese has a 4 pm session, in which she plans to make her slave carry it all back, so that needs setting up.

The limit may be hard but steel is harder. And these ladies are harder still.

And of course his hands would be neatly cuffed behind him, to keep them out of the way.

Fiendish angels

Or are they angelic fiends?

She likes to feel appreciated – who doesn’t?

There’s nothing like a man-hating lesbian girlfriend to inject a bit of firm discipline into a relationship.

Garbage needs to consider whether there are things in his life that are more important than money (other than her, of course, but that goes without saying).

This is of course the awesome Serena, Gynarchy Goddess, whose floors Servitor has often cleaned, almost never to her satisfaction, alas.

He’ll be fine, just as soon as he’s got beyond ‘Roses are red, violets are blue’.

Kitten isn’t an expert in economics, but she does understand the basic idea of conspicuous consumption and thoroughly approves of it.

The age of unreason

Wednesday. No – Sunday! And if it’s Sunday, it must be a themed special. What’s the theme today? Well, we continue to delay the scheduled World War M post, because of unpleasant (and, it would seem, somewhat poorly thought-out) developments in the so-called ‘real world’, so today we are once again celebrating that most delightful of feminine attitudes: being utterly, stubbornly, deliciously unreasonable.

On Tuesday I’m due to go and see a lady I’ve not had a session with before and we’ve agreed on email that it’ll be a domestic scene in which she scolds me, is demanding and impossible to please and generally thoroughly unreasonable. Which sounds lovely, but what if she changes her mind and just decides to do something else on a whim?

But try to avoid stubborn silences too – we know how passive-aggressive those can be.

You can’t please any of the dommes any of the time.

This is the third time this week. Subs can be so disappointing.

All the rules are important but you want to pay particular attention to the ones headed ‘Price’.

The power of negative thinking

One of those talks where you don’t talk, not until the very end, anyway.

I hope readers realise that the activity depicted in this captioned image – being annoying and pervy around ladies who are prepared to do something about it – is highly dangerous and should not be attempted.

It might turn out to be quite like Tuesday. And after a while, it really doesn’t matter.

Goodness, what nerve-rackingly high stakes. You could lose some (notionally) important body parts or win back the full £120, all on the turn of a card.

Poobles likes to be helpful and today this is how he can help.

Poor chap’s going to miss out on the awkward vanilla conversation while getting dressed at the end.

The strength of a woman can be boundless

It’s another science fiction special. Now you might object that we just had a science fiction special and for once you’d be right (well done you!) but I’ve just written a tonne* of sci-fi captions, a great many featuring Seven of Nine, so we’re going to be having a lot of them. And in honour of everyone’s favourite Borg, we’ll have seven captioned images each time. Got to get them out there somehow.

Also, I do have a World War M post ready but given there’s quite a lot of actual war around, I think perhaps we’ll keep that on hold for now.

*That’s slightly more than a ton.