sissy – Contemplating the divine

Further figures

More captions loosely inspired by the comedic style (but not achieving the comedic effect) of the Far Side. Slightly more whimsical than usual, anyway. Whatever. Also more than the average amount of tennis.

But only if she says you can

Consent is so important in femdom, don’t you agree? So many men in the scene just don’t get that: but the way I see it, if you’re down on your knees and you want to get up but she doesn’t give her explicit consent, then that’s an absolute no-no. No ifs, no buts, no pleading. So what if your knees are hurting? Women have a right to decide what to do with their own males and that’s that.

Keep calm. It’s probably just one of those deals in which they remain attached to you but they’re ‘technically’ hers, you know? To kick and crush whenever she likes. Anyway, you might win. The King’s got to be the most powerful piece, right? And you’ve still got that.

If you think about it, it’s actually quite arrogant for a human male to think he deserves better treatment than a ‘real’ dog. I mean, dogs are quite intelligent, so if anything it should be the other way around.

Actually, one of the guys with a beard just behind her is wearing women’s slacks* under his shorts, so it’s not just you.

Just another stunningly beautiful woman (Nata Lee), lounging around in red lingerie until she gets cross and decides it’s time to put you over her lap and smack your bottom until you cry. Contemplating the Divine… because ‘real life’ is over-rated.

Of course the normal guys don’t pay anything like as much for making the mess as you have to to clean it up. But then if life was fair I guess we wouldn’t have femdom.

Anya’s a lot more relaxed and open about her AFM past then many A-listers. No names but if you happen to own a copy of April 2013, there’s a certain Hollywood megastar actress who’d pay a lot to get hold of it and remove it, permanently… or would pay someone else a lot to do the same to you.

I’m not a crossdresser (not by choice, anyway) but this actress’s understanding but ever so slightly amused expression is just perfect, don’t you think?

Woman’s inhumanity to man

Which is obviously fine, humanity being properly reserved for humans not apes or maggots.

I’ve heard the trick is to think about other things, OK? The two weeks will fly by. Now hurry up with that lotion: she’s waiting.

And if you’re *not* actually her 4 o’clock pervert, just go on up anyway. She isn’t particular.

Realistic goals, firm boundaries, severe consequences. Secret of a happy marriage, right?

She’s right, they’re already starting to look ugly and horrible.

Particularly disappointing given the ants’ matriatrchal society. You’d think they’d at least have a nibble… ant cannot live on honey alone.

Even the grimmest, most unpleasant situations can benefit from a little joke, he always used to say.

Incidentally, my captions here often feature the wonderful Mistress Eleise (with whom I had the pleasure and pain in Paris of a session or three) objecting to blonde jokes. But that’s just my invention. Maybe she really likes them, collects them and treasures examples in which the blonde is being particularly dumb? If anyone visits Canada and if she’s still working, do try a few out and let us know how it goes.

The power of negative thinking

One of those talks where you don’t talk, not until the very end, anyway.

I hope readers realise that the activity depicted in this captioned image – being annoying and pervy around ladies who are prepared to do something about it – is highly dangerous and should not be attempted.

It might turn out to be quite like Tuesday. And after a while, it really doesn’t matter.

Goodness, what nerve-rackingly high stakes. You could lose some (notionally) important body parts or win back the full £120, all on the turn of a card.

Poobles likes to be helpful and today this is how he can help.

Poor chap’s going to miss out on the awkward vanilla conversation while getting dressed at the end.

Disdainful pleasures

Or at least, if you do mind,you’re OK with her ignoring that?

Any man who still clings to outdated notions that women are slow to adopt technology should try locking an electric shock device onto his genitals and handing his partner the remote. He’ll soon learn.

I’m sure they’ll all accept Fergus’s heartfelt apologies, eventually.

I’d be very anxious, if I were her husband, but I guess that just shows why he needs the pills.

It’s funny how many men visit ladies like ‘Strict Auntie Susan’, claiming their wives don’t understand them… when if given half the chance, those wives would understand all too well.

I’m sure she appreciates the clarification and she’ll show that in her response.

The loser takes it all

Or at least, as much as she decides he can take.

Right now, I really need to know what she’s been watching on that VR headset…

That is very bad luck. I mean, whether they look it or not, sissies *are* technically male and males can easily go several days at a time without thinking even once.

Nice clean t-shirt, though. Always such a thoughtful gesture, when subs make an effort to look smart for their dommes, who’ve typically spent ages on their appearance.

I took an escort to a work party once, and I have to say she did an amazingly good job convincing them she was really my girlfriend. Her mocking descriptions of my sexual failures were all startlingly accurate, despite that being the first time we’d met and later all my co-workers wanted to know whether we’d got back together after she dumped me so brutally that night – and whether my balls had recovered from such a hard kneeing. What a pro.

Oh, the lesbian sex thing’s just a bonus.

Oh Lord, I pray that Annie Hathaway forgives me… but not yet.

A hard woman is good to find

She seems very confident (women on this blog often are, actually) she knows how bad it’s going to be for you. I wonder how?

Even experienced submissives can sometimes forget themselves and indulge in shockingly challenging behaviour. Just the other day, I was thanking my SO for a punishment beating – down on my knees with my tear-stained face against the floor, as you do – when all of a sudden a note of insufficiently sincere gratitude crept into my voice. Apparently. I can’t imagine what provoked me into such a blatant act of insubordination, but you can be sure my good lady didn’t deal with it lightly.

She’ll be delighted to hear the ice bucket challenge is back, but this time it’s in February, which should be a lot more fun for almost everyone involved.

The healthy diet might lead to a long life, but he might perhaps want to remember, when dealing with the supervisor or other ‘carers’, that the longer his life goes on, the worse a deal the one-off financial settlement ends up being for the institution. But I’m sure they’ll do the right thing, whatever they decide that to be. Anyway, it’s very reasonable as the food and heating bills are remarkably low, leaving his loving daughters plenty of money to spend however they like, secure in the knowledge that he is being properly looked after.

After a while he’ll be desperate to be let out – which is weird, really, because he must realise that soon after that he’ll start to become increasingly desperate to flee back inside.

… and a couple of topical extras today, with thanks to shorty for the inspiration:

More Jutta perfection in Friday’s post.

The power of persuasion

A few adverts I have come across*, while tidying my SO’s magazines.

* [Memo to self: put footnote down here with some witty innuendo about ‘come across’]

Tears are not enough

Slam that door, slap my face.

That damn flicker. Better try to get it under control, now you’re married.

She likes locks. She likes the look of them, she likes the sound they make gently clinking inside your trousers when you’re out together…

I got lost once, Followed the wrong pair of heels… suddenly looked up and *gulp*! The lady was very nice, though and took me home, where she got talking to my SO and one thing led to another and… well, let’s just say I didn’t get my whipping for being lost until quite late the following morning!

Dommes say the funniest things. One beautiful lady once tied me to the bed and giggled sexily in my ear about how much she’d like to take my cock in her mouth and nibble it gently before taking firm hold with her hand and pumping… pumping… The silly thing must have forgotten she’d locked me in a tight chastity restrainer! But I didn’t say anything to embarass her.

In the event, she did turn up, about an hour late, with some of her friends, all wearing tight boob tubes and leather miniskirts. They got drunk and started shouting mocking abuse at all the sad little physics spods and speccy chemistry nerds sharing the stage, and made them hand over their medals, which they referred to as ‘lunch money’.

Finally, a quick note about comments here on this blog. The anti-spam thingy (to use a technical term) seems to have been a bit too cautious of late, with some commenters being blocked. Sorry about that. If you are, I think you can request approval. I do see those (might take a day or two) and I’ll always approve any that aren’t obvious spam marketers. I think once you’re on the approved list you’re fine forever but I’m not sure – the anti-spam stuff keeps having to change to stay ahead. I’d love to just switch it off, but I see the list of spammy comments it has blocked and believe me, there are hundreds every week so that’s not an option.