sissy – Contemplating the divine

Fishers of men

… but don’t worry: they are mostly doing it for sport. After hooking you and letting you wriggle and gasp for a while, they’ll usually just unhook you and throw you right back where you were.

This lady’s not planning to go fishing. She’s already caught enough for her immediate needs.

Actually, that’s not quite correct. The relationship is working for Trevor… and will do, right up to the end.

He’s looking forward to a harmonious married life, in which the housework is done with a perky smile, there’s no nonsense about taking financial decisions together and every comfort and care of the Head of Household is attended to. So’s she.

Fortunately, if she does decide to sell them anyway, even in their distressingly clean state, online purchasers of used panties rarely if ever complain to Trading Standards authorities.

You can actually communicate even quite complex concepts eventually in ‘bimbo’ speech mode, but you might have to suck a lot of cock on the way.

That’s actually something you have to ask for specifically, at the OWK. But he shouldn’t hold back. Most of the Ladies will be perfectly happy to deal with any guest who wants to have sex with them and some of them might even invite other Ladies to join in the fun.

You know how you feel at the iron gripe of ruthless oppression…

… you know how you bear the galling sneer of contumelious greatness.

Robert Burns said that. And how right he was, despite being a man. “Contumelious” was new to me: it means an “insulting display of contempt in words or actions; contemptuous or humiliating treatment.” How weird at my age to learn a new word for something I have adored for so long.

The next time I email a domme requesting a session I must remember to ask for ‘contumelious’ treatment. I’m sure she’d be impressed and give me exactly the treatment I need.

Don’t worry – I’m sure she doesn’t mean you.*

Ah, now I’m afraid I can’t go along with this. Consent is the alpha and omega in a BDSM relationship – never forget that. A few times early in my relationship I withheld consent when my SO was about to punish me and she got bloody furious, believe me. I won’t be making that mistake again.

She missed a trick, there: should have translated it into millimetres. Then it’s quite an impressive number: almost into double figures.

Tsk… no one’s even bothered to clean them. How can she stand putting them on her feet?

What men’s libbers don’t seem to realise is that in being so annoying, they’re reinforcing precisely the stereotypes about male behaviour they get so upset about. But then, if they weren’t so stupid, they probably wouldn’t be libbers in the first place, would they? I think most of them just need to be taken firmly in hand.

* No really. You’re quite different; so you can appreciate this kind of caption ironically, rather than feeling insulted. Anyway, you only read the blog for the jokes, right?

Entzückende

As you’ve probably noticed, this blog features ‘themed posts’ on a Sunday. Well, I… what do you mean you haven’t noticed? You don’t just come here to look at the pretty women and wank, do you? This is supposed to be a conversation between me, the artist, and you sitting there, with your trousers down around your…

OK, well anyway, not exactly a themed post today but I noticed I was doing more and more captions, defacing the lovely image of a lady called Nicola Cavanis, so I thought I’d do a special on her, give her her own tag and so on. I expect she’ll be rather pleased, don’t you?

Remarkably, for a young lovely whose photos are all over the Internet, she appears not to be Russian.

That’s the great thing about femdom – you can just turn many ordinary household implements into sex toys. Whether it’s something sharp, something blunt and heavy or just something vaguely cylindrical and sufficiently large, there’s almost always some kind of scene you can work with it.

Are you going to stand there and let her speak to you like that – you, a grown man? Stamp your foot, dammit – or run to your room, throw yourself onto the bed and scream into the pillow while kicking your feet. She’ll soon realise she can’t treat you this way.

I just can’t imagine why he would have wanted not to spend hours handwashing her panties… what’s wrong with the guy?

Be prepared, sissy, be prepared. I myself never go out without lubing up a little, just in case I should run into one of my SO’s former boyfriends and find myself being whored out to his mates. I’m not saying it happens every time, obviously, but when it does I’m usually glad of a little lubrication back there. I usually carry some mouthwash too – you never know when you’ll need it, do you?

Supreme beings

With the actions, sissy, with all the actions.

Ah, those glamorous Cruella photoshoots. Goosepimples never looked so sexy.

Our society today is going to look so primitive to future historians and their slaveboys.

You know, if she’d only used that hockey stick a bit more on Mr Musk, maybe things would be better in today’s world.

Make it realistic by refusing to do anything unless she hits you repeatedly with a stick.

Thrashing out an agreement

Many people think that any deals thrashed out in the context of a long-term femdom relationship will inherently be unfair to the male, but it’s just not true. Every time my SO and I have come to an agreement about something, the deal has always involved my getting something I value: an imminent prospect of the cessation of pain, for example. That’s usually a lot more important to me than whatever it is I have to give up in exchange. So it’s a win-win, really.

It has to make both of them laugh, mind. It would be easy enough just to set Mistress Eleise off, as she loves a good ‘dumb blonde’ joke and will burst out in fits of giggles if she hears a new one. Try it if (as I have been) you are ever privileged enough to session with her – it can lighten the mood, especially if you have requested a heavy session. The ‘dumber’ the blonde character the better, take it from me: your experience will be memorable.

The wonderful, magnificient Eleise de Lacy, of course, and the delightful Miss Woods who has not had to suffer the unpleasantness of Servitor’s proximity.

Love, honour and obey as long as you both shall live.

I’m told a good way to teach males to curtsey deeply is to suspend a heavy weight on a short chain from their testicles. Ducking far enough down relieves the pain, briefly, you see. Another good way is to inflict unbearable pain on them until they get it right. Or why not try both?

Very true. She got only four out of twenty on her last test, so I’m afraid he’s really going to have to suffer.

Underwater cunnilingus can be quite hazardous to the male health even with ladies who don’t actually get off on drowning you, unless either they can reach orgasm really quickly or the male has oxygenated very thoroughly. Proceed with caution and if in doubt: try it first with someone who really doesn’t matter.

…and an extra one with an absurdly long caption, why not:

I’m not sure Mrs Hudson is going to be too happy about that. Especially as Holmes still has 150 of his 500 punishment lines to write: “It was thoroughly disrespectful of me to frown when Mrs Hudson smashed my violin, giving us all a much-needed respite from my tuneless playing.”

She knows best

So do stop arguing, hmm? It’s very tiresome.

My SO has a very simple system for detecting when I’m lying: she assumes I am unless I can prove otherwise and whips me accordingly. Good thing for me everything on this blog is nothing but the honest-to-Goddess, cross-my-heart-and-hope-to-be-whipped truth.

Whereas disturbed sleep patterns can actually have detrimental long-term consequences, so really this is much better all round.

What’s got purple testicles and screams in agony? Give up?

With thanks to a commenter below, I’ll note that the smiling lady is Mistress Mona Rogers, whose pinned Tweet (X?) reports “it is time to announce my retirement”, alas. I wish her well and hope she still has a great deal to smile about.

Your penis would only very marginally add to the total quantity of penis involved anyway, so it’s really not a problem.

Don’t worry, she’s a very different person from her mother, with completely different ideas on how to treat the man in her life. Equally brutal, true, but different .

Fettered access

The control collar was going on sooner or later, anyway. Married life will all be done ‘the hard way’ so why not the wedding ceremony too?

Don’t worry, you’re not taking advantage of the situation. You have permission to pay her double, too.

Ooh – you’ll be the last one! I guess that makes you special. And they’ll probably try to make you last, too.

She’ll be OK. Everyone’s agreed there aren’t enough women in high-profile STEM jobs, nor enough men in menial and degrading positions.

Captive audience

Or one that would like to be so.

It just goes to show what I always say: that few marital problems can be resolved satisfactorily by cowering away in terror in a cupboard hoping she doesn’t find you.

Don’t worry: nobody’s expecting you to do anything much. They’ll do all the work, just leave it to them.

Probably just a breath mint. My SO receives monthly deliveries of a particularly effective brand of breath mints, with some long and complicated scientific name, from Myanmar. I’ve been taking one a day since soon after we got married and it’s never done me any harm, unlike many other things in our marriage.

Of course, there’s no need to discuss her expectations about you. Those are minimal, at best.

This is the fabulously beautiful and no doubt all-round fabulously fabulous Lady Perse, well worth visiting if you are in Warsaw or even if you are not. Needless to say (but I am conscious most of my readers are male, so even the blindingly obvious may need pointing out), the caption I have put on her divine image in no way represents her actual session practices, which I am sure are safe, sane, consensual and fabulous.

‘Something’? What kind of something? Why are the ladies in these captions so maddeningly unclear?

An unfair crack of the whip

It’s the best kind.

Oh, I don’t know. He looks enviably lucky to me.

She’s quite wrong about that: Mark will derive no sexual pleasure at all from spanking you. He’s actually rather gentle and vanilla when it comes to sex, despite his aggressive and violent persona.

I think it shows a lack of ambition on her part, assuming you’ve fucked up like that. My SO wants me to excel in my work, and is never satisfied with anything other than a perfect 10 on all my tasks. One day perhaps I’ll even manage it.

Their service takes care of the basic everyday money extraction aspects of findomme, leaving ladies to concentrate on what they’re really good at: spending it.

Oh well, as long as I’m not the only one dressed like that. Don’t you just hate it when you turn up to some event and you’re the only one naked except for your collar and leash? I know I do.

Written pleadings

It’s not really a choice, as she’ll probably find an excuse to do the bottle thing even after posting the photos. And vice versa. But he doesn’t know that, because males are very stupid creatures.

He’s lucky to have such an understanding Responsible Female; I hope he’ll have the sense not to push that luck too far. Female supporters of men’s lib are a bit weird in my opinion, but even
most of them understandably draw the line at disobedience or answering
back.

Mistress has also learnt from experience that the way to get a really smart, polished pair of shoes or boots is not to have someone slobber over them while masturbating.

She doesn’t really need the meter, given the screaming thing, but it’s nice to be sure and anyway, she has some plans to fill his mouth later.

She’s right. Just remember that and you’ll be fine.

And an extra one, just a little bit o’politics. Just what you’re looking for when you go surfing for femdom porn, right?

Still, inept political commentary incomprehensible to non-Brits notwithstanding, any image containing Morrigan Hel and Goddess Sophia has got to be worth at least a few long, lingering, longing stares, right?