So don’t argue.






So don’t argue.
























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| I break easily. |
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| Simon, like many alphas, sometimes finds it hard to understand subs. It’s not his fault, of course: it’s because he’s a male and males are stupid. |
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| She briefly renamed him “Whiny, pleady pathetic cry-baby” but ended up with the rather unsurprising “Skinny Bastard”. |
I believe this sweet lady is Mistress Tess. I’m sure she can help you, too, discover a new healthier lifestyle, if you ask very nicely.
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| Lots of men have irrational fears about castration. OK, just occasionally those fears might be rational but there’s no point in brooding on these things and letting them ruin your life. |
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| Like many women, she has been liberated from repetitive household tasks by the development of automated technology. It brings a warm glow to your heart, doesn’t it? |
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| My SO is constantly thinking of my comfort, in almost everything she does – she’s very creative, actually. |
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| Mmmm… hard to say. I do a nice line in self-referential self-loathing if that helps? No? Let’s move on. |
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| Oddly enough, two years later Uncle Luke had to have his IQ and grumpiness taken out too, so Timmie got a playmate and a new auntie. But that’s another story too. |
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| Oh… now there was a reason. What on earth was it? Ermmm… let me think. |
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| It’s her next project for the garden, after the sun deck is all done. |
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| They say that dieting requires self-discipline, but I’ve never found I needed any. |
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| Oh, humour her. Women can be silly about these things. An occasional waterboarding is a small price to pay for a harmonious mariage, hmm? |
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| Nothing. Yet. |
So keep coming back.
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| I expect there’s some good news as well. Just not for them. |
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| You’re about to find out what happened to all the other pizza delivery boys, by the look of it. |
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| The worrying thing is that there’s at least 900 strokes of the cane due from missed weekly whippings. Still, plenty of time. He’s only 58 years old… or is it 57? |
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| And the really good bit of the scheme is he gets to ask for another ticket to be drawn as often as he likes. Or as often as she likes. |
… oh, I’m not even going to go there. It’s a very old joke and not very funny.
Let’s have some brand new and not very funny captions instead.
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| Dommes don’t care about these things, but we subs do. The taste is quite different, for one thing. |
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| It’s good to experiment a bit. |
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| I’m one of her regular clients. First Tuesday of every month, 9.35 to 9.38. It gives meaning to my otherwise pointless existence. |
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| Men do seem to be making some pretty strange democratic choices just now, you’ve got to admit. |
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| um… |
…she’ll tell you it’s the only way to be.
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| Dinner parties can be such hell, can’t they? |
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| Seems fair. |
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| Hmm. Maybe there’s some hidden food and when I find it I’ll also find a way to kill the cockroaches? No, that’s not it… |
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| You’ll feel a lot better once you know you have no secrets from her. Well – when the welts have died down, anyway. |
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| If you look very carefully, you can just see one of his toes poking out, I reckon. He’ll get in trouble for that if she finds out,though, so keep it to yourself, OK? |