Idol thoughts

Think of what a relief it must be, not to be in any danger of suffering one of those unwanted and embarassing erections during the shoot. It just helps keep things professional, as they should be (although not ‘professional’ in the sense she’s actually paying you, obviously).
Everyone laughed at me when I bet on him, but I think I could be making a lot of money here!
My SO says gags really suit me and I can’t argue with that.
I expect you never imagined a woman like that would ever take an interest in you, did you? But she is – very – and so are all her friends.
Of course, they vary it a bit. Today he had a nice big empty bowl of cereal for breakfast, nothing soup for lunch and he has a big juicy nothingburger to look forward to for dinner.
Some men think that women who dress provocatively are just asking for it – you can easily spot them, these days, as they’re the ones walking around in t-shirts reading “Please kick me in the balls.”

Seductive reasoning

I break easily.


Simon, like many alphas, sometimes finds it hard to understand subs.  It’s not his fault, of course: it’s because he’s a male and males are stupid.



She briefly renamed him “Whiny, pleady pathetic cry-baby” but ended up with the rather unsurprising “Skinny Bastard”. 

 I believe this sweet lady is Mistress Tess.  I’m sure she can help you, too, discover a new healthier lifestyle, if you ask very nicely.



Lots of men have irrational fears about castration. OK, just occasionally those fears might be rational but there’s no point in brooding on these things and letting them ruin your life.




The World Sadistic Games are much more fun to watch than regular sporting competitions.  The Ladies’ Javelin, for instance, which not only involves strength and the ability to throw far but also tests the athletes’ aim.



Subjugated verbs

Like many women, she has been liberated from repetitive household tasks by the development of automated technology.  It brings a warm glow to your heart, doesn’t it?




My SO is constantly thinking of my comfort, in almost everything she does – she’s very creative, actually.





It always amazes me quite how many subs are… shall we say somewhat overweight?  Or shall we say repulsively obese?  Whatever, I don’t suppose anyone who matters cares.  I’ve never understood it, though: why are they allowed to eat so much?



Mmmm… hard to say.  I do a nice line in self-referential self-loathing if that helps?  No?  Let’s move on.


Oddly enough, two years later Uncle Luke had to have his IQ and grumpiness taken out too, so Timmie got a playmate and a new auntie.  But that’s another story too.

Domesticated bliss

Oh…  now there was a reason. What on earth was it?  Ermmm… let me think.
It’s her next project for the garden, after the sun deck is all done.

They say that dieting requires self-discipline, but I’ve never found I needed any.

Oh, humour her.  Women can be silly about these things.  An occasional waterboarding is a small price to pay for a harmonious mariage, hmm?

Nothing.  Yet.

He works if you hurt him

So keep coming back.

I expect there’s some good news as well.  Just not for them.

You’re about to find out what happened to all the other pizza delivery boys, by the look of it.

The worrying thing is that there’s at least 900 strokes of the cane due from missed weekly whippings. Still, plenty of time. He’s only 58 years old… or is it 57?

And the really good bit of the scheme is he gets to ask for another ticket to be drawn as often as he likes.  Or as often as she likes.

She’s got a point there, actually.  And did you know that a cloth and a dab of polish will get boots much cleaner than even eight hours of careful tongue-work? It’s true.  We could get the whole femdom thing done a lot quicker if we just took more advantage of modern technology.

Just a little prick…

… oh, I’m not even going to go there.  It’s a very old joke and not very funny.

Let’s have some brand new and not very funny captions instead.

Dommes don’t care about these things, but we subs do.  The taste is quite different, for one thing.

It’s good to experiment a bit.

I’m one of her regular clients.  First Tuesday of every month, 9.35 to 9.38.  It gives meaning to my otherwise pointless existence.

Men do seem to be making some pretty strange democratic choices just now, you’ve got to admit.


Don’t question why she needs to be so free

…she’ll tell you it’s the only way to be.

Dinner parties can be such hell, can’t they?


Seems fair.
This is the lovely Mina Thorne, in a very fine video for Men Are Slaves (well of course they are)


Hmm.  Maybe there’s some hidden food and when I find it I’ll also find a way to kill the cockroaches?  No, that’s not it…


You’ll feel a lot better once you know you have no secrets from her.  Well – when the welts have died down, anyway.
If you look very carefully, you can just see one of his toes poking out, I reckon.  He’ll get in trouble for that if she finds out,though, so keep it to yourself, OK?

Pretty mean

Pretty girls can be so mean,
don’t you think?

I knew this girl in high school,
for example. She was pretty and cute, and she hung out with all of the cool
kids. So of course, I was amazed when she asked me round to her place one day.
I suspected she just wanted help with her homework, you know, but I couldn’t
control my hopes that she might be sweet on me, and my heart was pounding out
of my chest when I rang her doorbell.

But wouldn’t you know it, as
soon as I was inside, she knocked me out and I woke up in a dark cellar, where
over the course of that week, she and her friends subjected me to the most
unspeakable tortures and sexual humiliations, then locked me in chastity and
condemned me to a lifetime of chained servitude as her male maid! Girls, eh?
True story.

Well, except the bit about being
in high school. I’m British. We don’t really have them.

But every word of the rest is
true. Honest.


Wife worship
Worship…devotional prayers…human sacrifice – whatever she wants, really.

Femdom food again
Oh don’t be ridiculous.  Of course she’s not going to fry up his balls!  What a suggestion!  She’s going to lightly glaze them with cardamom-scented honey, and serve on a bed of sauteed mange-tout with polenta.

Punished at work
It’s generally not a good idea to let your manager and your dominatrix work together.  But once they do, the best thing to do is just to accept the situation.  After all, you have no choice.

Bridal bridle
Awww.  Isn’t that sweet, to think of your comfort like that?  That’s why you’re marrying her, right?

Shame punishment
Therapy can help, too.  For example, I discovered that my fears of sexual inadequacy stem from being sexually inadequate.  I owe my therapist a great debt, which I’m paying off in monthly installments deducted directly from my salary.

Tough love

Very tough, sometimes.  Ouch.

Captioned images of female domination follow.  Obviously.

Femdom air stewardess
Not a clothes cupboard, you understand.  Don’t get your hopes up, loser.

Yes.  Apparently she doesn’t have Madame Sarka’s easygoing and forgiving nature, so do watch it.  Still – congratulations!  Happiest day of your life, and all that!
 Madame Sarka, of course, formerly of OWK.

Oh I always do that sort of thing.  Live for today, I say!  Who knows where we’ll be tomorrow, eh?  Well, I mean, in this case here, obviously.  And the day after that, and…
 This image from Cruella.  There’s a certain bleakness that is unmistakable.  Mmmmm.

Oh no.  I hate going to her parents’.  Especially after a flogging.  Oh well… who said life had to be fair?

Gratuitous cruelty  – dontcha love it?

Do you really want to hurt me?

Do you really want to make me cry?

Oh…say you do.

Death by boots
“Boots” is a surprisingly popular choice.  You can also sell the right to choose, to someone else, then just take pot luck.  Quite fun, if you’re feeling adventurous.
 The picture is from The British Institution.  It’s very British.  I love it.

Femdom food
Oh well.  It’s been deep-fried.  How bad can it be?

Cassie certainly does cane
 The lady is of course the magnificent Hunteress (also known as Cassie Canes), and the source is indicated on the watermark.  Boris appears courtesy of SlavesForMovies Inc.

Beating on demand
They also provide a complimentary paddle, by the minibar, and there’s a shackle in the bathroom.  It’s those little touches that make the difference between simply staying in a hotel and having an experience there.

Punished for being bad in bed
Sounds fair.

The caption for the picture above was loosely inspired by this rather excellent video on humiliation.  You’ve probably already seen it, but if you haven’t I recommend it.  The lady involved is…well, not exactly vanilla, but she’s not femdom particularly either, as this is one of a large series of talks about various sexual practices.  But as well as talking about it, from time to time she simply slips in some actual verbal humiliation.  For some reason, the fact that she does so in such a matter of fact manner, reading from a script with cheerful interest…even the fact that the scene keeps cutting, particularly when she reaches for an inhaler because she’s got a cold… all that, just adds to the humiliation for me.  I think it’s lovely.  Anyway, there’s a bit where she says you have to be “punished for being so bad in bed”, and the phrase has stayed with me… and perhaps always will.

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