Written submissions



There’s actually a funny story to how I came by that nickname.  Just ask anyone.







Lots of men find it hard to navigate the unwriten rules of modern office etiquette, which is why it can be so useful to receive feedback that is frank, immediate and eye-wateringly painful when the inevitable occasional slip-ups occur.

Another word Auntie Kate can teach you is ‘sadist’ but that’s for another day.
For the grand finale they invite members of the audience to step up and join them.

Myself, I’m not too choosy about clothing – I just wear whatever happens to be locked onto me that morning, you know?

Ladies First



It is.  We so easily lose sight of what’s really important in this world.

Ah… the Police.  They never do anything, do they?  You know, a few weeks ago I filed a detailed report about how I had been kidnapped by five young blonde lesbians and they put a collar and chain on me, then dressed me in a frilly maid’s dress and made me lick their boots clean, while they kissed and cuddled each other wearing various latex and leather outfits – and do you know what? The Police said they thought I’d made it all up!

No rush.  You’re not going anywhere.



Many men who’ve been on the course say it was a life-changing, eye-opening experience.  They’re all very, very grateful.

Not too much, mind.  Don’t want to make it too easy.


The wrongs of man

Power drill play… not for everyone, obviously.  Just for you.

Despite the harsh look of the place, it’s actually more an institution for rehabilitation and education, rather than punishment as such. Of course, it all hurts, but there’s a purpose to it, that’s all I’m saying.

I don’t see why funerals have to be sad. I want my own funeral to be a joyous occasion, and when I told my SO that, She laughed and said it almost certainly would be.
See – and you were complaining about her fucking other men!  All square now, right?
More fun than a trireme: you get to jog along the road in the fresh air.


Hard-core scorn



Anyway, she can’t chat long.  She’s just off to the pet shop.  Wants to buy a couple of dogs, apparently.

It’ll be good when you’re married and you can just just be yourself.
I’m gender non-binary.  Well.. gender fractional, anyway.  About 1/7, my SO reckons.

Forgetfulness?

It’s good to know a domme with a really creative imagination.


Safer space




OK, so Ken’s question actually gives me a good opportunity
to show you how the new anti-sexist speech code will work in practice.  See, Ken’s worried that his free speech
rights will be infringed by our new policies against sexist speech. 
And he’s wrong about that, obviously, but it’s OK for him to express
those concerns.

But what about the way he expressed those concerns,
hmm?  Was he in breach of the policy?  Well, yes, he was. In several ways.  So how could he have expressed his concerns in a way that doesn’t involve any kind of sexist behaviour, hmm? Anyone?

No David – women speak first – remember?  I know I said ‘anyone’ but you need to wait
at least 30 seconds before attempting to speak to see if any of the women want
to say something first, yeah?  We
practiced that before.  So… Ken’s
question.  What should have have done differently?

Phoebe?  That’s right!  He didn’t put his hand up, did he?  He just started speaking without female
permission.  So that’s a violation right
there.  Very good.

What about the opinion he expressed?  What did he do there that could have been
better?

That’s right, Kate. He disagreed with me.  It’s a very common male habit, isn’t it? I guess all the women here could tell stories of men just straight-up disagreeing with them like that.  Exactly what the speech code is supposed to stop.  But it’s so easy to avoid!  There are just so many ways Ken could have expressed his concerns, there,
without disagreeing with something a woman just said.   
He could have thanked me and said how much he
agreed with the policy of ending sexist speech, and could I explain a bit more
clearly how this does not infringe his constitutional rights.  Or… he could have asked for more advice on how he should express himself, or he could have sought to discover some boundaries, hmmm?  Could have asked me what I would like the limits of his free speech to be, yeah?  Any of those would have been OK.

Anything else?

How did he address me?  Was it respectful?

Well… yes, Kate, he did say “Ma’am”.  But he hesitated a bit, didn’t he?  And that sounded just a little
disrespectful?  So… maybe OK, to be a bit slow with the “Ma’am” in some circumstances,
sure.  As long as it’s there.  But given the context: he spoke without permission, he also disagreed with me… his hesitation before calling me “Ma’am” was almost like a direct challenge to my authority, wasn’t it? So, yeah,
that’s another violation.  
So there’s three distinct violations of the code, which is actualy enough to raise some red flags for action.  So I could just call up the app – any time up to three months from the date of the violation, so if you want time to think about it, that’s OK – then I’d double-click on Ken and put the report into the system for disciplinary measures to be taken.
He wouldn’t lose his job, of course, not for only three violations.  But he’d lose pay and he’d be placed on the watch list, to undergo some more direct training.  There’s an external weekend that he’d find very effective.

Ken?  Oh –  putting your
hand up, I see!  So much better.  But I don’t want to hear you just now. Does any other woman want to hear what Ken has to say? No? OK, so put
it down again.  That’s right.

Now… we’re going to roleplay a typical office situation…  You’re all a team discussing a new project, OK? You’ve each got envelopes describing your role and the team objectives.  You’re going to need to plan the research and implentation phases, big marketing push to a female-oriented clientele, yeah? You’re going to need tech skills, marketing savvy and a LOT of cups of coffee, OK? Let’s see how you handle it – using the speech codes, the way we practiced.

Abjective reality

He could try offering her all his money.  Oh hang on – he did that already.

Gender sensitivity training.  I’ve tried and I am very sensitive indeed to women’s concerns.  But that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t benefit from further instruction, obviously.

Medical research has shown that male impotence can arise from many quite sepaarte causes.  Failure to leave out the bins on rubbish day, addressing your wife in an impertinent manner – even ironing a blouse badly can lead to weeks or even months of being completely unable to sustain an erection.

My domme uses my real name in session these days, but only after she made me change it legally to “Maggotdick”.
 The lady pictured here contemplating Colin’s immediate future is of course the Divine Mistress Heather.  Have I ever mentioned that that she once – oh, did I?  OK, then I won’t mention it again this time.
No… no problem at all. I’ll just get my coat…


Devotional abuse

I’m sure she’s very fair-minded.
The wonderful Eleise de Lacy, whom I had the immense privilege of meeting a few months ago.  As extraordinary, beautiful and creative in person as she seems in the brilliant Femme Fatale videos.
 

 

And afterwards… especially afterwards.
 
 
Hmmm.  What a bit of luck to catch you cheating on her just as she was next to a shop selling whips! 
 
 

 

Just one less thing to worry about.
 
 

 

You’d better.
 
 

 

 

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