Pre-nuptial agreement

Ah, there
you are, darling.  Now have you written
that note?

No?  Well why not?

Oh don’t be
ridiculous, darling.  It’s just a
precaution.  I mean, we both love each
other now, of course we do, and I fully expect that we’ll both love one another
for ever.  But just in case – just on the
off-chance – that something happens and our marriage isn’t working any more…
well, then it’s useful to have arranged something like this beforehand, that’s all.  Isn’t it?

What do you
mean, you don’t know what to say?  It’s
pretty simple.  You don’t have to worry
about getting the wording exactly right or anything.  I mean if you really were committing suicide, you’d
be a bit distraught, wouldn’t you?  You’d
probably just put down any old thing.

Just say –
you know, that you can’t take it any more, you hate your life and you’ve
decided to put an end to your worthless existence.  That sort of thing.  Oh – and probably best to say you’re sorry for any pain you’ve caused me, but that you think this is the best thing for both of us.

Hmm?  No – best
not to specify any method.  We don’t know
whether you’d be co-operative if I ever needed to use it, so I think I’d better have to improvise whatever I can at the time.  If I ever need it.

Are you
writing it now?  Great.  Well, when it’s done, give it to me and I’ll
put it somewhere safe.
And then I can
tell you all about the plans for the wedding!

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