blonde – Page 12 – Contemplating the divine

They think it odd and Sodom and Gomorrah-ble

My SO can be scatterbrained like that. Just last week was supposed to be my annual orgasm and the silly thing forgot it completely! How we laughed when she realised the next day why I’d been looking so anxious. She still smiles when she thinks about it…

Abusive behaviour can develop slowly – or can be quite quick, starting almost as soon as one hands over the bag containing the champagne and the envelope with the tribute money.

Tried it. What now? Hmm?

The rules can be quite strict. I tried to change my name to my wife’s and they wouldn’t allow it. Isn’t that ridiculous – in this day and age? Apparently “Mywifes” is not an officially recognised christian name.

Well, I hope she’s prepared to let him stay for the whole session, even if he did underpay.

New year, same old nonsense

Just, more of it than usual.

It’s not that special. Chocolate log with a couple of profiteroles, basically. I could do that. I don’t see why they need such a big carving knife for it, either.

There are few surer ways to keep the romance of marriage alive than doing your wife’s boyfriend’s laundry, and picking things up around his apartment.

And they say there are no jobs for men in the modern workplace! There will always be shoes, I say and I don’t think we’re going to be seeing them cleaned over the Internet any time soon!

Probably. Or some other reason. Does it matter?

Don’t worry – they have a solar charger, so it’s very environmentally sound. Anyway, no one could seriously consider it a ‘waste’ of electricity to shock a man’s testicles, could they? It’s what electricity was invented for.

Mmm…. Sounds like there’s a heavy session in store! And without even having to pay! Well… not pay directly, anyway.

You can claim compensation from the airline, I expect. Then get another one. A nuisance but hardly the end of the world. Except for him, obviously.

I’m hoping to develop a bead-sorting fetish. Hasn’t happened yet, but there are many, many long nights ahead of me so there’s plenty of time.

I wish my wife would let me have a weekly allowance… imagine, money of my own to spend on whatever I want! But she says I’m not ready for that kind of responsibility and she’s probably right.

Or maybe next year.

The delightful Mistress Eleise, the best view ever to appear through a periscope, here to round off this bumper holiday bonanza of… you can supply your own word beginning with b.

And… just to finish off, a little found femdom starring the fabulous Emily Ratajkowski.
I recommend Mr Pinniped’s channel more generally, actually.

I hope all the female readers (OK, both the female readers) of this blog have a lovely 2019 and the rest of you have the miserable, soul-destroying time you so richly deserve and secretly crave.

Deeply indebted to her

…but she sometimes lets me off the monthly interest if I consent to one of the ‘special’ games she likes to play. It’s quite an incentive to keep the payments up, actually.

Don’t worry about a thing. I’ve heard you can see the sea from the bar they’re planning to spend the afternoon in, so I’m sure they’ll notice if the tide comes a bit further up than they were expecting.

Hmmm… it’s almost like they’re in a – what’s the word? Predicament.

What can it mean? I don’t know… I just work here.

Consent is very important in BDSM. My SO absolutely insists on it.

Ah well. Nearly got a freebie there. You know… I was playing SPH humiliation scenes years before I knew that was a thing. I just called it ‘dating’.

I see angels

Now, I may be mad. But that doesn’t mean I’m not right.

Well, I rather think I’ll notice! But does she care what I think? Hmph. If I wasn’t in direct contact with electrodes under her control, I’d give her a piece of my mind, I can tell you!

And soon to be more like him still.

Oh yes, much more attractive. Don’t worry about that.

Just one of those little habits you have to break when you’re married – you know, like speaking when you’re not spoken to, that kind of thing. You’ll learn.

Damn. I’m beginning to hate that coin. Maybe I can persuade her to use a different one, next time.

Mistress Eleise, looking lovely. For more pictures of Mistress Eleise looking lovely, try here. For pictures of Mistress Eleise not looking lovely, you could, erm…. well, you could try here, I suppose.

Although none of this resolves the more fundamental question of how to pronounce her name. El-AYE-za or El-EE-sa? I dunno, even though I have had some wonderful sessions with her (obviously, I always called her “Mistress”). Anyone know?

I’ll get some nuts

Is this femdom? Works for me. But then, like at least 80% of the male British population, I adore Olivia Coleman.

But I’ve only got one – after that thing with Angie last week. Oh… go on then.

It’s actually a grotesque stereotype that gay men molest straight men in public lavatories. Also, most gay men aren’t attracted to guys in little maids’ dresses. So: you’re safe on two counts. But you can have the butt-plug if you want to be sure. Or if she decides it might look funny.

You need to be careful online, though. My SO once took up what She thought was an offer of a fit young 22 year-old guy and She found Herself the owner of this rather unattractive 52 year-old. She was quite cross with him for lying like that, so of course when She later tried to get rid of him , he was badly damaged and She ended up having to send him to landfill. I’m not saying people shouldn’t sell themselves into slavery online, obviously, but they need to take some care, that’s all.

That’ll be two us without a choice in the matter, then. I wonder who does decide these things?

There’s nothing so relaxing as knowing you can scream and thrash hysterically in fear and pain as much as you like. Time to hand over control.

For who would bear the whips and scorns?

I once checked on a date-rating site after an evening with a very lovely lady and discovered she’d rated me lower than her vibrator. Which I wouldn’t mind so much, if that was the rating for sex but that was under ‘personality’.

She’s an expert negotiator.

Warning: the value of investment bankers can go down as well as up.

There’s also ‘maidspreading’. That’s when you stand with your legs held firmly apart with a spreader bar. It’s usually a precursor to something rather painful.

You’d think they’d have guessed from the spreader gag.

You know I work all day to get you money to buy you things

… and it’s worth it.

They still holiday in the same place, and go down to the lake to the pier and occasionally she pushes him in for old times’ sake. It’s not always at the same time of year but it still has the same magic. Last February the ice was so thick it didn’t break when he fell on it – so much for global warming, huh?

Some men find it annoying and restrictive having to wear a shock collar, but really – it’s ten minutes sitting plugged in by the wall most days… maybe 15 minutes at most after a lot of use? Then you’re fully charged and can get on with your life in whatever way takes her fancy. It just takes a little planning that’s all.

Many men get excited at the thought of watching passionate lesbian sex, but believe me after a few years you kinda start to feel a bit jealous? Silly, I know…

Apparently
she’s having the schoolroom fitted out already. If she’s not even
pregnant yet, I have to say that seems a little premature.

As I’ve always said: there’s no job a woman can do that a man can’t do too. Just more slowly, not as well and with someone of a superior gender in charge to make sure he doesn’t fuck it up. Which, admittedly, doesn’t work too well when flying a plane. But Billy can have his dreams – then he’ll grow up, meet a nice girl who’ll sweep him off his feet and he’ll settle down as a happy househusband, I expect.

Scornography

Submissive husbands sometimes don’t realise how embarassing it must be for their partners to be married to such hopeless, pathetic losers.

She’s definitely one of those teachers that students will remember all their lives.

Another lady who takes pride in her work. They say pride is a sin but I’m pretty sure that’s not supposed to include women.

As if she didn’t have one packed for the honeymoon already.

Sure, no rush. Pain’s pain, at any time.

Heels over head in love

Like many submissive men, I pay not to have sex.

At school, once, this boy and I were talking about some girl and he said “I’d like to get in her knickers!” So when, a few weeks later, after a midnight excursion, I was able to tell him I was in her knickers, I thought he’d be jealous. But he wasn’t, oddly enough. It was just a misunderstanding. How we laughed. The whole class laughed, if I remember rightly.

Benji is actually the Honourable Sir Benjamin Kettleworth-Harcourt, FRCS, but of course he can neither remember nor pronounce that.

Married couples should talk about their interests more.

How does she know I’m scrumptious? I didn’t detect a French accent, there.

Servile bodies

Whoops – I appear to have scheduled two posts to appear on the same day. Oh well, too late to change it now. Scroll down for another post immediately under this here one and marvel at how samey it all is, when experienced in bulk.

No indeed. He doesn’t have to have a happy marriage for it to be a successful one in all the ways that matter.

Don’t forget to ask when you can see her again.

It’s his own fault. He should have told her he’s afraid of heights. Sorry – what’s that? He did tell her? Oh. Well, it must be his own fault for some other reason then.

Supposedly you can gain confidence as a speaker by imagining your audience naked. Worth a try.

She doesn’t like to bring her work home. Occasionally, a few fingernails or other bits get stuck to her boots, but that’s about it.