blonde – Page 11 – Contemplating the divine

Senseful brutality

Well.. someone might mind, actually. But no one who matters.

Goodness, what a large one. As no woman has ever said to me, in my entire life. More seriously, though, I really, really like this caption. If you don’t like this one then you are probably ‘reading’ the wrong femdom blog, because as far as I’m concerned, this is as good as it gets (sorry).

Actually, I stopped complaining to Mum when I realised she was always going to take my sister’s side. And obviously there was no point complaining to Dad – he tried to stick up for me once, and we both got a spanking for his trouble.

Looking? Looking where?

Actually, I really like this one too…

Lachrymatrices

The annoying thing is, I only bought the car last week. But I guess I can do without it. It’s essential to prioritise, when making important financial decisions.

She doesn’t mean the bondage. He likes the bondage. It’s the things she can do to him because he is in bondage that he won’t like.

There used to be a brand of condoms that fitted me just perfectly, but the manufacturer decided to stop producing that particular size. Not enough demand for it, apparently. Over 20% of men are that size or less, but they make up only 0.3% of all sexual encounters, so… I can’t really blame them.

And she’ll decide whether you really really need it, or not.

My wife’s very sexually demanding too, but I don’t have too much difficulty keeping her satisfied: the local male escort agencies all give us loyalty discounts now and if I book in advance as well, I can get up to a 25% off the list price. Which is – just about – affordable on my salary, if I’m careful to economise on everything else.

They think it odd and Sodom and Gomorrah-ble

Isn’t it delectable?

My SO can be scatterbrained like that. Just last week was supposed to be my annual orgasm and the silly thing forgot it completely! How we laughed when she realised the next day why I’d been looking so anxious. She still smiles when she thinks about it…

Abusive behaviour can develop slowly – or can be quite quick, starting almost as soon as one hands over the bag containing the champagne and the envelope with the tribute money.

Tried it. What now? Hmm?

The rules can be quite strict. I tried to change my name to my wife’s and they wouldn’t allow it. Isn’t that ridiculous – in this day and age? Apparently “Mywifes” is not an officially recognised christian name.

Well, I hope she’s prepared to let him stay for the whole session, even if he did underpay.

New year, same old nonsense

Just, more of it than usual.

It’s not that special. Chocolate log with a couple of profiteroles, basically. I could do that. I don’t see why they need such a big carving knife for it, either.

There are few surer ways to keep the romance of marriage alive than doing your wife’s boyfriend’s laundry, and picking things up around his apartment.

And they say there are no jobs for men in the modern workplace! There will always be shoes, I say and I don’t think we’re going to be seeing them cleaned over the Internet any time soon!

Probably. Or some other reason. Does it matter?

Don’t worry – they have a solar charger, so it’s very environmentally sound. Anyway, no one could seriously consider it a ‘waste’ of electricity to shock a man’s testicles, could they? It’s what electricity was invented for.

Mmm…. Sounds like there’s a heavy session in store! And without even having to pay! Well… not pay directly, anyway.

You can claim compensation from the airline, I expect. Then get another one. A nuisance but hardly the end of the world. Except for him, obviously.

I’m hoping to develop a bead-sorting fetish. Hasn’t happened yet, but there are many, many long nights ahead of me so there’s plenty of time.

I wish my wife would let me have a weekly allowance… imagine, money of my own to spend on whatever I want! But she says I’m not ready for that kind of responsibility and she’s probably right.

Or maybe next year.

The delightful Mistress Eleise, the best view ever to appear through a periscope, here to round off this bumper holiday bonanza of… you can supply your own word beginning with b.

And… just to finish off, a little found femdom starring the fabulous Emily Ratajkowski.
I recommend Mr Pinniped’s channel more generally, actually.

I hope all the female readers (OK, both the female readers) of this blog have a lovely 2019 and the rest of you have the miserable, soul-destroying time you so richly deserve and secretly crave.

Deeply indebted to her

…but she sometimes lets me off the monthly interest if I consent to one of the ‘special’ games she likes to play. It’s quite an incentive to keep the payments up, actually.

Don’t worry about a thing. I’ve heard you can see the sea from the bar they’re planning to spend the afternoon in, so I’m sure they’ll notice if the tide comes a bit further up than they were expecting.

Hmmm… it’s almost like they’re in a – what’s the word? Predicament.

What can it mean? I don’t know… I just work here.

Consent is very important in BDSM. My SO absolutely insists on it.

Ah well. Nearly got a freebie there. You know… I was playing SPH humiliation scenes years before I knew that was a thing. I just called it ‘dating’.

I see angels

Now, I may be mad. But that doesn’t mean I’m not right.

Well, I rather think I’ll notice! But does she care what I think? Hmph. If I wasn’t in direct contact with electrodes under her control, I’d give her a piece of my mind, I can tell you!

And soon to be more like him still.

Oh yes, much more attractive. Don’t worry about that.

Just one of those little habits you have to break when you’re married – you know, like speaking when you’re not spoken to, that kind of thing. You’ll learn.

Damn. I’m beginning to hate that coin. Maybe I can persuade her to use a different one, next time.

Mistress Eleise, looking lovely. For more pictures of Mistress Eleise looking lovely, try here. For pictures of Mistress Eleise not looking lovely, you could, erm…. well, you could try here, I suppose.

Although none of this resolves the more fundamental question of how to pronounce her name. El-AYE-za or El-EE-sa? I dunno, even though I have had some wonderful sessions with her (obviously, I always called her “Mistress”). Anyone know?

I’ll get some nuts

Is this femdom? Works for me. But then, like at least 80% of the male British population, I adore Olivia Coleman.

But I’ve only got one – after that thing with Angie last week. Oh… go on then.

It’s actually a grotesque stereotype that gay men molest straight men in public lavatories. Also, most gay men aren’t attracted to guys in little maids’ dresses. So: you’re safe on two counts. But you can have the butt-plug if you want to be sure. Or if she decides it might look funny.

You need to be careful online, though. My SO once took up what She thought was an offer of a fit young 22 year-old guy and She found Herself the owner of this rather unattractive 52 year-old. She was quite cross with him for lying like that, so of course when She later tried to get rid of him , he was badly damaged and She ended up having to send him to landfill. I’m not saying people shouldn’t sell themselves into slavery online, obviously, but they need to take some care, that’s all.

That’ll be two us without a choice in the matter, then. I wonder who does decide these things?

There’s nothing so relaxing as knowing you can scream and thrash hysterically in fear and pain as much as you like. Time to hand over control.

For who would bear the whips and scorns?

I once checked on a date-rating site after an evening with a very lovely lady and discovered she’d rated me lower than her vibrator. Which I wouldn’t mind so much, if that was the rating for sex but that was under ‘personality’.

She’s an expert negotiator.

Warning: the value of investment bankers can go down as well as up.

There’s also ‘maidspreading’. That’s when you stand with your legs held firmly apart with a spreader bar. It’s usually a precursor to something rather painful.

You’d think they’d have guessed from the spreader gag.

You know I work all day to get you money to buy you things

… and it’s worth it.

They still holiday in the same place, and go down to the lake to the pier and occasionally she pushes him in for old times’ sake. It’s not always at the same time of year but it still has the same magic. Last February the ice was so thick it didn’t break when he fell on it – so much for global warming, huh?

Some men find it annoying and restrictive having to wear a shock collar, but really – it’s ten minutes sitting plugged in by the wall most days… maybe 15 minutes at most after a lot of use? Then you’re fully charged and can get on with your life in whatever way takes her fancy. It just takes a little planning that’s all.

Many men get excited at the thought of watching passionate lesbian sex, but believe me after a few years you kinda start to feel a bit jealous? Silly, I know…

Apparently
she’s having the schoolroom fitted out already. If she’s not even
pregnant yet, I have to say that seems a little premature.

As I’ve always said: there’s no job a woman can do that a man can’t do too. Just more slowly, not as well and with someone of a superior gender in charge to make sure he doesn’t fuck it up. Which, admittedly, doesn’t work too well when flying a plane. But Billy can have his dreams – then he’ll grow up, meet a nice girl who’ll sweep him off his feet and he’ll settle down as a happy househusband, I expect.