Category: torture

Miss rule

 

I
usually find that my main thought during ‘thinking time’ is ‘I think I
can’t stand this much longer’ but my SO says it helps and I don’t like
to contradict her.


 

 

I think she’s over-reacting. First rule of army life: ‘stuff goes missing’, amiright?

 

 

 

That does sound fun.  Don’t worry if you don’t get it the first time – you can have as many goes as you like, subject to any withdrawal limitations imposed by your bank (and you may want to try asking for those to be lifted, it’ll increase your chance of success).

 


They do other things too.  But mainly that.


I think you’re about to make two lovely ladies very happy.


 

Governing bodies

 

Everyone feels a bit uncomfortable, on their first day in the torture room.




Really?  Oh… that would be just awful!

 

 

 

 

Don’t tell her she’s not doing it right – it works for her, OK?




Language barriers can be overcome, with good will on both sides – or failing that, one side holding a whip and not giving a shit about what the other side might actually be saying.


His musical tastes are more Bruce Springsteen than Ariana Grande.  He did tell them that, but then he also told them his session tastes were more towards sensual domination than frequent, brutal electric shocks to the balls… so it looks like they didn’t pay a lot of attention.


 

Night terrors

 

They don’t.  I can vouch for that personally (but you cannot check for yourself, alas, because the lovely Lady Sophia Black appears to have retired).

Yes, that would be instructive.  Plus, they’ll need someone to clean up all the mess when they’ve finished with him.


 

 

Thank goodness for the wise motherly advice. There’s a reason her parents stayed together all their lives, you know.

 

 

 

She’s particularly good at the “laughing and joking to show it’s all consensual” bit at the start.  She practices for hours to make it sound convincing.  And she has very high standards, so make sure you learn your lines perfectly.

 This is the sweet and playful Madame Sarka, who appears not to be retired, so any readers looking for a gentle introduction to the world of female-led roleplay might want to try looking her up.  Be polite.  Very polite.

 

 

Easier said than done, alas, so I’m just going to keep masturbating to pictures of sexy actresses and singers, if that’s OK, Billie.


Whatever she likes, whenever she says

 

Honestly, imagining bothering her about a little thing like that.

 

 

Oh well…wouldn’t want to disappoint Suzie, would we? 

 



Obviously, you are allowed to have opinions, even as her husband, as long as they’re the right ones.


…unless she’d rather I made her a nice cup of tea?  No?  Sure?  OK, cattle prod it is, then.



Like most men in a female-led relationship, I learnt about pre-menstrual tension quite early on.  Also post-menstrual tetchiness and during-menstrual extreme violence.



It’s a sign of devotion

You made everybody else seem so tame.

 

After a lifetime with a full head of hair, it seems I am finally going bald.  Next Tuesday, apparently.  She’s invited some friends around to watch.

 

 

I hope they play nicely.

 


A very important part of any session.





Speaking of devotion… this is Lady Sophia Black.





Actually, it is more accurate to describe Sissymaid Sylvia as ‘gender uncertain’ as its Mistress hasn’t come to a final decision on the matter yet.
 

Scream queens

I never went trick-or-treating as a child – it was just an American thing in those days – but it’s everywhere now.  We often get complimented on how much effort we’ve made to make the house look like a spooky haunted house of torture and pain, but really it’s just the outdoor summer toys (which are occasionally used in winter too, when I’ve been particularly bad).  Halloween does have the advantage of being the evening on which I can answer the door without having to conceal my chains, I suppose, which is nice.

Nothing terribly spooky about today’s captions, I’m afraid, but I’ve tried to choose some at the darker end of what is already rather a sombre spectrum. 


Well, I think that’s disgraceful.  She shouldn’t have taken the veil if she doesn’t believe in it.  It should be a spiritual calling, not just an excuse for hot latex-clad lesbian sex while torturing naked males. Too many people just do religion for the ritual, to my mind.

 

 

Ooh – like a college reunion?  I wonder what activities they’ve got planned.



“Erm… oh gosh, now look here, errrrmmmmm!”  etc


With the birds.  Where else are they going to go?  Don’t worry, though: they’re not predatory.  Those curving beaks are just for cracking nuts.



Don’t worry, Mistress will be back soon. How long can you stay in a beach bar with a bunch of guys, anyway?


Oh go on, then: have a Halloween-themed extra that is explicitly not about Halloween.


 



Pictures of attractive young women saying vaguely threatening things

Just trying out a more literal approach to naming these posts.  I have to say, though, I reckon “Attractive young women saying vaguely threatening things” would make a great name for a band.


My muscles are relaxed.  The rest of me is suddenly feeling strangely tense.



Romantic moment ahead!  No spoilers, but let’s just say this turned out to be the turning point in their relationship.  This is when it became serious… really serious.


 

Don’t worry: she’ll make sure he drinks plenty of liquids too. 

 

 

 

Oh, OK.  Plenty of time then.  She’s not planning to turn it any further until after tea.

 

 

I don’t know about you but I just seem to be constantly charging appliances.  If it’s not the phone, it’s the shock collar, if it’s not the shock collar it’s the cattle prod.  I’m sure life was simpler in the old days.  Even on our wedding night… turned out I was supposed to have charged up her vibrator.  She wasn’t pleased, I can tell you.


It’s savage and it’s cruel

And it shines like destruction.  Mistress Lennox, of course, and her beardy boy.


There’s an important difference.  Voyeurs get sexual gratification from watching other people have sex, while humiliation freaks get sexual gratification from not getting sexual gratification.



Unlike many wives, his wife doesn’t at all mind his going to strip clubs and suchlike with his mates.  She must be very open-minded.



Actually, I’m feeling a bit queasy.  Is that supposed to happen?



Easy mistake to make: most of their ponies are geldings already.  Surprising he’s lasted this long, really.  Maybe they’ve been busy.



Oh well.  It doesn’t hurt to ask, as long as she’s in a good mood.




Good harmful fun

 …and nothing wrong with that.


They take pain management very seriously.




It’s best to double-check these things.  I’ve been on at least two dates which ended up in an argument relating to a confusion between inches and centimetres – and on one of them my so-called ‘date’ actually beat me up.


Obviously, we should be trying to encourage more women to go into STEM subjects.  Because technical progress and science are important – so best not left to morons.



That’s a relief.  I was worried.





It just shows I’m a red-hot lurrve machine, surely?



My sweet lady

…. by George Harrison.  Pirate version, obviously. *   Extra bonus post today!  Me hearties!






It’s odd – when she takes the elderly gentlemen’s blood pressure and heart rate, the readings always come out higher than when one of the male nurses take them.  They use the same equipment so it can’t be anything to do with that… it’s just one of those little mysteries.



It’s a good thing she was there to step in.  Normally, when she’s off sick, L just leaves them a message to find a pair of sneakers and sort themselves out.



If we’re talking about bad influences, personally I happen to think that Karen is a bad influence on her… but no one listens to me.**


Others just think it’s rather fun… kind of a conversation piece.

Sometimes love needs a helping hand.










* Today being ‘International talk like a pirate day‘!  I celebrated this day once before by putting up an entire post of captioned femdom images of lovelies talking like pirates, with a lot of emphasis on being boarded through yer rear porthole, matey etc.  Forgetting of course that individual images get copied, tumblred, shared and generally distributed around the Internet without context.  An Internet that, not unreasonably, reacted by declaring these the worst captioned femdom images ever created.  So I won’t be doing that again… there’s ‘good’ humiliation and then there’s the other kind.  So, just the usual perfectly normal captions today.  Yo ho ho!

** I write captions all the time and select images from my vast archive*** when I put up a post.  Consequently, many of these images were captioned years ago.  For some reason, I frequently settled on ‘Karen’ as the name of an off-screen more vicious friend of whichever divine goddess is speaking.  Anyway, that was before Karen became ‘Karen’ OK?  Let’s hope that particular fad passes and let’s hope most fervently that it never, ever also catches ‘Janice’ in its memetic claws.****

*** No, really.  I have about 1600 unpublished ones right now.  That’s three years’ supply.   Ha!  They said he was running out of captioned images; they said he was running out of ideas…  They were half right.

****Or ‘Raoul’.