When life gives you lemons…

 …strap him down to a table, clip his eyelids open and squeeze the juice into them.

Too unpleasant for you?  Then you definitely will not want to watch this clip of women (as the title indicates) brutally torturing men to death

No, seriously, you won’t.  That clip is not some kind of happy S&M consensual game, nor are the terrified victims saved at the last minute from the evil torturers (don’t you hate it when that happens in mainstream movies?).  It is possibly the most unpleasant, brutal mainstream clip I have ever seen.  Very nasty stuff.

I mean, who could possibly enjoy that sort of thing?  You’d have to be a truly sick weirdo to get any kind of sexual pleasure from that. Simply horrible, it is.  Vile.

Mmmm.

Anyway, on we go!

 

Some poor sod’s going to have to clean that up, you know.


 

 

‘Non-lethal’ is how I like my femdom play.

 

 

Yes, let’s hope Ellie doesn’t take it out on them.  She’d got a terrible temper, you know.

 

 

 

The people have spoken… the ones wanking online, anyway, and that’s good enough for her.

 

 

 

 

Thank goodness none of that applies to any of us, eh readers?  Imagine the (fully justified) self-loathing you’d have to feel to get off on something like this.


There’s a two-legged animal running about

 … but if it’s kneeling down on one knee, I reckon things are probably OK.


It can be more complicated for them to find better quality ‘playmates’, as those are often reported as missing after a while.  Which isn’t a problem – she’s even had some minor celebrities who’ve disappeared into her playroom – but it’s an added complication.


With a bit of luck, maybe Pookie will get bored of having monthly orgasms after a while and stop trying so hard.  Then it’ll be your turn.  Just give it time.


Looks like you have an extra 45 minutes free!  Whatever will you do with it?  Ironing, dusting… the possibilities are almost endless (within the very limited range of things you’re permitted to do, obviously).  Later on, it looks like there’ll be quite a lot of chocolate stains to clean up, so best to get ahead on the regular chores.




She’s enjoying it in a non-sexual way… and if you’re as exhausted and sore as she implies, you’re probably hating it in a non-sexual way too.  So that’s very compatible.



She’s quite tender-hearted, so she’ll be upset when she comes back from her next trip to the forest but I expect Vanya 2 can cheer her up.







Blowing my mind, stealing my heart

 Somebody help me ‘fore I fall apart.


Don’t worry, it’s perfectly normal to feel a little nervous.



Remarkably, I understand she got 100% in all her exams without even turning up.  And now works in a profession where she earns more than £500/hour working from home.  It just shows the value of adopting the right educational techniques.




Don’t get her wrong – she’d be perfectly happy to lace or unlace her own boots.  But when there are men queuing up to pay for the privilege, why would she?

“…his eyes widened as she slowly, deliberately trailed her fingers all the way up his long… hard knitting needle, her fingertip lingering for a second at the top.  “It’s a number 7” he blurted out awkwardly, feeling the need to respond in some way to this sudden intimate contact.  “At least” she murmured in reply, nodding gently, thoughtfully.  Then she made a decision and looked straight into his startled eyes.  “I want you to make me something stylish but practical”, she breathed with an urgency that surprised even her.  “I want you to make it now!”.  She glanced into his knitting bag, where the multicoloured balls of wool nestled quietly, expectantly.  A hint of a smile tugged at the corners of her lips, as she…”




The ‘arrogant dismissive domme’ thing comes naturally to some.





Girlish brutality

Speaking of which, I thought I’d just share with a little thing that happened to me yesterday – in real life, I mean, not ‘Servitor’ life.

So I was leaving Starbucks (in Paris) and there was this young woman coming in, so I held the door open for her and vaguely smiled as she went past, as you do.  And you know, she didn’t acknowledge me?  Not even a nod, just strode through, head held high, ignoring me as if I were merely part of the furniture.

I mean, can you believe some people?

I thought about that all day.  Wonderful!  What bliss it is to be alive, and all that.

Anyway, true story.  Now on with the stuff that isn’t.


Subsequently twice married to a billionaire, this one. Not bad, is it? The same billionaire twice, I mean, not two billionaires.  I don’t suppose he got the hockey stick treatment… but you never know, he might have done.




Don’t forget to include a little gift (or, better, a large one) in your thank-you email, so she’ll know you mean it.




Mistress is cleverer than you.  Do try to remember that, OK sweetie?  I know it’s not easy, remembering stuff.


 

 

He still screams of course – in fact, these days he often starts screaming before they even start, as he knows what’s coming.  But it’s lost that element of surprise, that’s all she’s saying. Time for a bit of a change.




The very idea!  He’s got a lot to learn.



Humbling experiences

‘PIV’ (Penis in Vagina) is not the only sort of sex a married couple can try, after all.  There’s ‘SIA’ (strap-on in anus), for instance, or ‘PIALTTUIBEIADREFWTSITP’ (penis in a little tube tucked up in bed early, in a different room entirely from where the sex is taking place) too.

 


 

 

Thank goodness for that.

 

 

My SO and I take all the financial decisions together.  I don’t actually take part in the decision, obviously, but I’m usually there when it’s made and that’s what matters.


 

 

 

Findom clients are born not made, they say.  One every minute, I’ve heard.

 

 

Actually, she decided in the end that most of the guys she’s fucked probably wouldn’t get the reference (they tend not to be bookish types), so she went with something a bit less subtle on the same theme.


 

A total portrait with no omissions

 The divine Ms Harry, for contemplation and worship.

 

Sometimes she’s in the mood for screaming and frantic pleading but right now she’s trying to enjoy her book, so just keep it down, hmm?

 

 

 

She can show you both heaven and hell – as, to be fair, can the priest but in a very different way.

See?  Cruella’s not all about bleak post-industrial settings.  This photo-shoot’s in a bleak pre-industrial setting and a refreshing change it is too.

 

 

Don’t you just hate being the third one on a date?  I do – but she doesn’t seem to care.

 

 

 

Go on – not many kinksters get to live out their fantasies in reality.

 

Mine’s ‘maggot’, by a curious coincidence.  But can readers of this blog keep that to themselves, please?  You can’t be too careful these days.  Fortunately my SO is the only one who knows the really important passwords, like the one for our bank account.  I wonder what these two need yours for? Still… best not to argue.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Girls just wanna have fun

… but in many countries there are still some silly legal restrictions on how they do so.  Not on this blog.


I think they’re just not taking this lifesaving course seriously enough.



How does she know?



OWK has strict rules about that.  Strict rules about a lot of things, come to think of it – I mean, that’s kind of the point of the place.


She’s thought about it a lot.  Often after a luxurious bath, with soft music playing and a glass of wine to hand.



‘Cowering’ is an underrated form of sex play, I reckon.  I do a lot of it.



Smiles and tribulations

 

They say the best gift is a memorable experience.

 

 

 

Kind of her to help out.  You don’t often see that kind of neighbourliness these days, sadly.


 

 

 

 

Don’t worry – you’ll go quiet again long before they want to go to sleep.

 

 

 

As my SO likes to say – what could be more humiliating than being you, anyway?

 

Not forgetting ‘cock-sukking hor’ bit he added afterwards. Do you suppose all the words Raoul can spell correctly in English are synonyms for ‘penis’?  Honestly, I don’t see what she sees in him.


 

Loving tyranny

But if we’re going to have a talk then surely I shouldn’t be wearing a gag?  I don’t think she’s thought this through.


 

After the war, those that survived the mission never spoke about what they went through.  They did their duty, that’s all anyone needs to know.

 

 

 

My SO is almost like a human lie detector. When I know I’ve done something wrong and she questions me about it, my heart starts racing and I go into a cold sweat.

 


My SO loves acting out teasing and denial fantasies.  Admittedly, we’ve only tried it once but it’s going very, very well.


 

It’s her book club choice, so the house’ll be full of her friends eager to discuss it, at the weekend.  Better get the drinks and nibbles in.


Miss rule

 

I
usually find that my main thought during ‘thinking time’ is ‘I think I
can’t stand this much longer’ but my SO says it helps and I don’t like
to contradict her.


 

 

I think she’s over-reacting. First rule of army life: ‘stuff goes missing’, amiright?

 

 

 

That does sound fun.  Don’t worry if you don’t get it the first time – you can have as many goes as you like, subject to any withdrawal limitations imposed by your bank (and you may want to try asking for those to be lifted, it’ll increase your chance of success).

 


They do other things too.  But mainly that.


I think you’re about to make two lovely ladies very happy.