Category: caption

A woman is the only thing I am afraid of that I know will not hurt me

I think Abraham Lincoln said that. Which just goes to show that even the smartest guys can be really, really dumb when it comes to the unfairer sex, but there you go.

And here we go. Not an Abraham Lincoln-themed day, startlingly enough.

Men are stronger than women but chains are stronger than wrists – and steel or even plastic is stronger than a cock, so it’s all right.
Don’t blame her for being so clingy – or for the concern about your untimely death. When you think of what happened to her first two husbands, it’s hardly surprising, is it? The poor thing.
She takes a holistic approach to cleaning. It’s not just about cleaning the apartment; it’s also about cleaning up your lifeand tidying up your attitudes (and cleaning out your mouth too, if need be).
Don’t worry, it’s just a job to her. She leaves it behind every day, when she walks out of the Retributution Room and washes the blood off her rubber apron and lets the screams fade behind her. Oh – and she likes rom-coms. That’s OK with you, yeah? For some guys it’s a no-no.
Looks like another quiet evening in, then.
Much better to be the only slave in their cottage than to be one of any number of interchangeable males at the back and call of some city woman. Think of all the attention you’ll get! Plus all that healthy country air.

The Hunt

New series! Brutal, unpleasant and – so far at least – with very longwinded captions. But if you’re into the idea of running naked at the limits of your endurance, desperately gulping lungfuls of air as you flee in terror for your life, pursued by whip-wielding jodhpur-clad ladies on horseback intent on your mutilation and painful death (and let’s face it, all of that adds up to a very attractive image), you might like these).

More mundanely, I understand commenting here has become harder the last few weeks. That’s not something I want to happen, so I have tried tweaking the anti-spam settings a bit. I found out for example that it was considering all comments containing the word ‘penis’ to be spam. I’ve deleted that but ‘penis enlargement’ continues to feature on the list, as that is not something this blog supports – quite the opposite, if anything. I’ll keep a better eye on this – apologies if you felt the urge to comment recently and were discouraged.

A feminine touch

Well… doesn’t hurt to ask, does it?
Arguably it should be your father-in-law’s job, but apparently now he’s getting on a bit, his wife’s decided she wants to make sure that every moment of his remaining time with her is spent restrained and in agony, so they could use the help.
Don’t worry, I’m sure the shop assistant will be very understanding. In my experience, they understand perfectly.
He’s certainly getting his money’s worth.
The lovely Mistress Sidonia, of course. An inspiration to everyone who has to do their femdom on a budget: she must have one of the best-equipped facilities in the world but she still knows the value of a wire coat-hanger in really hard-core femdom play.
It’s silly to be squeamsih about a little thing like murdering a male, but some girls are like that.

Power and glory

For ever and ever…

The star jumps are the worst part.
Oi – don’t you know it’s rude to listen in on other people’s phone calls? It’s the taste of her shoes you’re paying for, not her private life.
It would have been a messy divorce. This solution is much neater.
Cum is actually quite healthy – very low fat. Just ask anyone who’s had to try to survive on a diet of nothing else.
Oh well, it’ll make a refreshing change to stand in a different corner afterwards.
My own wedding night was exhausting, I have to confess. 60 guests can leave a lot of mess.

Band of sisters

More from the girls who risked all, back in dubya-dubya-em. And the boys too – who did lose it all, those that had any in the first place. Remember: they also serve, who only kneel and darn socks.

As I’ve said before, equally wrongly: it never hurts to ask.
Venus has an atmosphere of superheated sulphuric acid that would shred your flesh and fry your bones if you dared go there. Just sayin’.
She has five pairs of male genitals painted on the side of her plane.
Maybe she’s being told she has to let you go? Let’s hope not: bloody cold out there without clothing.

And more from the build-up to war: World War M: Origins. Coming soon to a cinema nowhere near you.

12 November… now why is that date familiar…? Oh, riiighhhht!
If you don’t know, you’ll find out in a few weeks’ time.
If this seems an implausible way for the gallant aviatrices to obtain a fighter jet, just consider that almost 60% of male casualities on the ground, on the first day of WWM, fell victim to what has become known as the “Gee, that’s a sexy rifle! Mind if I hold it?” strategy,

Uncomfortable fictions

Just pray she’s using the black rubber end, not the golden shiny ball – now that really hurts.
It can take a while, getting used to inlaws’ family traditions. Just go with it – the important thing is your forthcoming marriage, after all. That’s for life.
That’s why you don’t often see snip-lit set out as a separate category at bookshops, but someone once calculated that over 25% of new fiction sold to women features some kind of removal of male genitalia, so it’s a very important theme.
But her hippocratic oath is secure: she’s not harming him; it’s more in the nature of long-overdue radical treatment to improve matters. Anyway, it’s a debatable point wherther the Oath even applies to males – after all, doctors eliminate bacteria and viruses by the millions and men aren’t much different.
I am actually quite good at maths, and once managed to really irritate a domme who had set up a school scene based on arithmetic tests. Furtunately, it turns out that you can be tawsed and caned almost regardless of aptitude, so the session turned out well.
Anyway, she is a queen, so why not have a chair in which to be one? Honestly, journos get hung up on the silliest things.

Service tension

Especially if it limits her ability to spend your own money how she likes.
Consequences again – and quite right too. How could you have been so thoughtless, you monster?
Don’t worry, I hear they’re developing a kind of slow-release capsule so you won’t need a new dose every day.
Some might question why such a wise, benevolent and just ruler even needs ‘palace dungeons’ – and a few people did, near the start of her reign, but they seem to have gone away now.
They operate a walk-in, crawl-out service.
What a relief it must be to her, to hear his voice – and she must be especially pleased he phoned her first, not the police. That shows real trust and devotion.

Supreme beings

It’s good that she can laugh about it.
With the actions, sissy, with all the actions.
Ah, those glamorous Cruella photoshoots. Goosepimples never looked so sexy.
Our society today is going to look so primitive to future historians and their slaveboys.
You know, if she’d only used that hockey stick a bit more on Mr Musk, maybe things would be better in today’s world.
Make it realistic by refusing to do anything unless she hits you repeatedly with a stick.

Degraded images

She’s going to take her time – no rush, is there?
Oh well, it’ll make a change from the chewing gum those big-city dommes pick up.
I must say, thiose bridesmaids are taking their duties very seriously. At my wedding, they were only there for the ceremony – although my best man stayed around for quite a while, now I come to think of it.
I used to think my SO was mixing up her two remotes, but it turns out she just set the TV control up to give me an electric shock every time she changes the channel or adjusts the volume.
It’s amazing the things medical science has come up with these days. You know, back in medieval times dommes engaged in medical play would put leeches up their clients’ bottoms? We’ve come a long way.

This lovely lady is Maitresse Blanche, based just outside Paris, whose medical skills have from time to time been employed in trying to sort out the many, many things that are wrong with Servitor.

Ah… lesbian femsubs. Many male submissives fantasise about their mistresses taking on a pretty little submissive but the reality is less ‘threesome’ but more doing a lot of housework around a rather giggly ‘twosome’, twice as much laundry and fewer ‘onesomes’ than ever. Not that I’m bitter – or complaining, obviously.

In days of old

… when knights were bold. Some possibly a little too bold, as we shall see.

It’s sometimes hard to understand why people think modern democratic systems of choosing leaders are superior. I mean, what better qualification for government could there be than murdering all your relatives? OK, Charles III didn’t do that (Liz Truss, it was, who offed our beloved Queen) but that’s just because the world has gone soft.
Another good system, this time for selecting royal consorts. Might have less-than-ideal evolutionary consequences after centuries of the same approach, admittedly.
This is actually a faithful account of a real world D&D experience I had. In fact, almost every D&D evening I can recall ended with my experiencing some kind of anal violation… just unlucky with the old D20s, I guess.
Honour was upheld, as was his cock before the cheering crowd.

…and finally, a succession of knights all seeking the same evil witch but who all ended up encountering a different lady entirely. What are the chances?

She’s one of these women that just accumulates stuff around her home. It’s silly, really. I mean, she’s already got at least five boot-scrapers, six if you count the one she’s planted flowers in.
That is indeed very confusing. Fortunately, being a hitching post isn’t at all complicated: even the stupidest males can cope.
Oh dear. Looks like no one’s ever going to find that evil witch. Still, this Solstice Feast sounds fun. Apparently she always has a knight there specially for the feast, it’s the tradition.