Category: caption

Fear and loving

They go together so well.  More common than you might think.


In the – very unlikely – event that it does start giving you punishment-level shocks, there’s a helpline you can call that’s open every single day between 10 and 4, and usually only has a very short waiting time. So… nothing to worry about.


That’s the thing about a good thrashing with a cane: it’s so straightforward. You know where you stand (corner, usually).
And there’s some lubricant in case any chafing symptoms emerge, for whatever reason.
Don’t worry: she’s planning to consummate the marriage.  Just not with you.







I’ve always thought the mens lib movement would be much more effective if they just recognised reality and put a woman in charge.  But they like to try to do things by themselves, bless them.

Senseful brutality


Well.. someone might mind, actually.  But no one who matters.








Goodness, what a large one.  As no woman has ever said to me, in my entire life. More seriously, though, I really, really like this caption. If you don’t like this one then you are probably ‘reading’ the wrong femdom blog, because as far as I’m concerned, this is as good as it gets (sorry).


Actually, I stopped complaining to Mum when I realised she was always going to take my sister’s side.  And obviously there was no point complaining to Dad – he tried to stick up for me once, and we both got a spanking for his trouble.

 

Looking?  Looking where?








Actually, I really like this one too…

Lachrymatrices



The annoying thing is, I only bought the car last week. But I guess I can do without it.  It’s essential to prioritise, when making important financial decisions.
She doesn’t mean the bondage. He likes the bondage.  It’s the things she can do to him because he is in bondage that he won’t like.

There used to be a brand of condoms that fitted me just perfectly, but the manufacturer decided to stop producing that particular size.  Not enough demand for it, apparently.  Over 20% of men are that size or less, but they make up only 0.3% of all sexual encounters, so… I can’t really blame them.

And she’ll decide whether you really really need it, or not.
My wife’s very sexually demanding too, but I don’t have too much difficulty keeping her satisfied: the local male escort agencies all give us loyalty discounts now and if I book in advance as well, I can get up to a 25% off the list price. Which is – just about – affordable on my salary, if I’m careful to economise on everything else.


Ladies in red


Men’s libbers are actually firmly opposed to being spanked.  Most men are, actually.  But they always end up thankful for it.





I once paid a prostitute to have sex with me – booked with a credit card.  But when I opened the door to her, she looked me up and down, dug around in her purse, handed me the same amount in cash and walked off.  Which could actually be quite handy some time, if I’m ever somewhere with no ATMs.
Never try puppy play alongside an actual dog.  They’re better at it. Much the same goes for sex and real men.  Don’t even try – you’ll just look foolish.  And you wouldn’t want that.

 

Except that she’s started by using social media to advertise, so her first clients are precisely likely to be your friends.  And your close family members.

She’s sneaked a tub of lube into the bottom of your tuck box.  You know: to make the first few days a bit easier.  She’s kind like that.


They think it odd and Sodom and Gomorrah-ble

Isn’t it delectable?

My SO can be scatterbrained like that.  Just last week was supposed to be my annual orgasm and the silly thing forgot it completely!  How we laughed when she realised the next day why I’d been looking so anxious. She still smiles when she thinks about it…
Abusive behaviour can develop slowly – or can be quite quick, starting almost as soon as one hands over the bag containing the champagne and the envelope with the tribute money. 


Tried it.  What now?  Hmm?
The rules can be quite strict.  I tried to change my name to my wife’s and they wouldn’t allow it. Isn’t that ridiculous – in this day and age?  Apparently “Mywifes” is not an officially recognised christian name.

 

Well, I hope she’s prepared to let him stay for the whole session, even if he did underpay.

Subination and dommission





Time to put those bra-fastening skills to work!  You trained for years for this – don’t mess it up.







My SO likes card tricks. There’s this one she does where I pick a card and I get the number of strokes of the strap equal to the number on the card.  Then she picks a card and I get the number of strokes of the cane shown on the card.  Then it’s my pick again, and so on. It’s not such a great trick, but she always finds it amusing.











I find the gentle touch of the electrodes somehow quite reassuring and comforting.  It’s like – I don’t have to worry about making my own decisions, you know?  Plus, every second they’re not making me scream in pain is a bonus, so they make you appreciate the moment.












Big break, Pansykins!  Do this right, you might be promoted to skivvy.









Ah… they’re going to play at being sailors.


Kept men

(we don’t talk about the discarded ones).



Another 2% fantasise desperately about it not happening, or at least not so often and not quite so hard.
Featuring the lovely and no-nonsense Miss Cassie Hunter, the Hunteress.
Right.  It’s about time all this nonsense stopped – I’m going to put my foot down. In fact, I’m going to stamp my foot – hard.  Several times.  And I’m going to to have a proper tantrum.  That should show her she can’t treat me like this.
Their faces usually fall again when she goes on to inform them that she will therefore proceed to the next thrashing, for the next item on her list.
I once asked my SO if she could feminise me, but she just laughed and said she’d love to, but I don’t have the IQ to make a convincing woman.
She cares a lot.



By the way, not ‘found femdom’ in any meaningful way, but over the break I’ve been watching episodes of 90s British sitcom Game On and perving ever so slightly to the lovely Samantha Janus and especially her relationship with the character Martin.  I watched it occasionally at the time it was broadcast and it’s as weird and spectacularly depressing as ever, as the basic set-up is that Matt – a neurotic, agoraphobic narcissist – rents out rooms in his flat to Martin (a wimp) and Mandy (a goddess!).  Martin is a virgin desperate for sex, while Mandy is frustrated with her life and hates herself for sleeping with so many men.  But (da-dum), the only men she absolutely will not have sex with are the other two characters.  With Matt, she refuses and pushes him away but with Martin it obviously never even occurs to her to have sex with him. There’s a lovely scene in this episode (intended to be the first ever, although they varied the order of broadcast), in which her latest boxer boyfriend takes up her whole bed, so she snuggles up with Martin, who lies there with an erection the whole desperate night.  Here, starting 16.22.  Ahhh…

So, yeah, not in any way femdom.  Except that Samantha Janus is quite literally a goddess and I for one intend to found a religion in her honour.

She is notionally Samantha Womack these days, but I’ll be hunting down Mr so-called Womack and forcing the blasphemer to change his name to Janus, as is only right and proper, so don’t worry about that.

New year, same old nonsense

Just, more of it than usual.

It’s not that special.  Chocolate log with a couple of profiteroles, basically.  I could do that. I don’t see why they need such a big carving knife for it, either.




There are few surer ways to keep the romance of marriage alive than doing your wife’s boyfriend’s laundry, and picking things up around his apartment.
And they say there are no jobs for men in the modern workplace!  There will always be shoes, I say and I don’t think we’re going to be seeing them cleaned over the Internet any time soon!
Probably.  Or some other reason.  Does it matter?

Don’t worry – they have a solar charger, so it’s very environmentally sound.  Anyway, no one could seriously consider it a ‘waste’ of electricity to shock a man’s testicles, could they?  It’s what electricity was invented for.



Mmm…. Sounds like there’s a heavy session in store!  And without even having to pay!  Well… not pay directly, anyway.
You can claim compensation from the airline, I expect.  Then get another one.  A nuisance but hardly the end of the world.  Except for him, obviously.

I’m hoping to develop a bead-sorting fetish.  Hasn’t happened yet, but there are many, many long nights ahead of me so there’s plenty of time.
I wish my wife would let me have a weekly allowance… imagine, money of my own to spend on whatever I want!  But she says I’m not ready for that kind of responsibility and she’s probably right.
Or maybe next year.

The delightful Mistress Eleise, the best view ever to appear through a periscope, here to round off this bumper holiday bonanza of… you can supply your own word beginning with b. 

And… just to finish off, a little found femdom starring the fabulous Emily Ratajkowski.
I recommend Mr Pinniped’s channel more generally, actually.

I hope all the female readers (OK, both the female readers) of this blog have a lovely 2019 and the rest of you have the miserable, soul-destroying time you so richly deserve and secretly crave.

Hurtful thoughts

I think writing lines is a ridiculous and pointless, tedious activity and there are few things I hate doing more than writing lines for hours at her command.  I told her that just the other day.  500 times, in fact.

I did an interview once. Check it out if you want to find out about the real Servitor, behind the leather mask.  Don’t read it if the thought of knowing the real Servitor makes you nauseous.
Ooh – looks like there might be a consciousness-raising session coming on!

There wasn’t much to begin with.
I often have ‘plenty to complain about’.  Regretably, I’m not allowed so it all goes to waste.