Author: Servitor

Reunion







Oh my god.  Oh my god
– little Bobby Jenkins, as I live and breathe! 
“Sinatra55” is Bobby Jenkins!  Wow.  Who’d have guessed!
Well, “Sinatra55”,as you can see: “Sultry Suzie” from Elegant Escorts is
none other than Clarice Hoskins. From class of 2012. Surprise!  How about that, huh? 
Wow.  Just wow.  After all these years.
Hey, I guess I
haven’t seen you since that night I met you outside the cinema, huh?  And listen, I’ve thought about that night a
lot, OK? That letter you pressed into my hand? 
I’m sorry I didn’t reply, but I did read it.  I read it a few times, actually, and I tried
to write a reply – oh, must have been 15… 20 times? But I just couldn’t find
the words – you were the first boy who ever told me he loved me, you know?  And there’ve only been one or two since –
none of them wrote me a letter like that. 
Beautiful.  And I wanted to tell
you how good it made me feel but also somehow tell you you just weren’t my
type, not in that way, and when I thought about how you’d feel when you read that
I’d just start crying, so… I could never finish the reply.  You know how teenagers are.
Yeah.  I guess we all have to grow up, huh?
The escort thing?  Oh
yeah, been doing that a few years now.  I
mostly just keep it to oral, you know, like you booked? But once you’re with a
client, you pretty much have to do what they want, so I’ve done a few
things.  But I don’t mind.
Look, I’ve got to keep 20% back for the agency, OK? But I
can just refund the rest of your fee.  No
problem.  It happens from time to
time.  Maybe we could just go for a drink
– I mean, we’ve got a couple of hours.
What do you mean why do you get a refund?  You get a refund because we’re not going
to fuck, Bobby, yeah?  If I know one thing,
it’s that the Bobby Jenkins who wrote Clarice that beautiful letter wouldn’t
want to pay her to kneel down in front of him for a meaningless, anonymous blow
job.  So – no problem. The agency will
just credit your card.  They won’t ask any questions.
No, really.  It’s sweet of you, but I don’t really need the money just now. I’ve had a busy week already – I only toook this on because one of the other girls had to go visit her Mom. You keep your money – buy yourself something special, OK?
No. I wouldn’t hear of it.  There – I’ve texted the agency to do the refund.  End of discussion. 
So – how about you, huh? What are you doing with
yourself?  Guess you must be doing pretty
well to afford someone like me, huh? 
What is it – hedge fund? You were always good at math.

Soft power



Of course, an average can be brought down quite a lot by just one bad review.  Especially if that’s from the only date you’ve ever been on.


Mmm…. looks like you just became a premium product!  Something to be proud of.

She wasn’t a huge success as a nurse, to be honest, especially when she did a stint learning how to administer pain relief, which turned out just not to be her thing.
Obviously
successfully navigated that tricky moment towards the end of the date,
when she eases her shoes off, settles back and you have to decide
whether it’s appropriate to ask whether you can masturbate while
kneeling in front of her and sniffing her feet.

I expect he’s forgotten all about that time you ate his dogfood too.  I mean, that was Mistress’s fault really, but he wasn’t to know that.


The seven stages

  1. Denial
  2. Anger
  3. Indiferent denial, with a warning
  4. Bargaining
  5. Denial with retribution
  6. Desperate pleading
  7. Amused denial


You can get an app for it too.  Every day, it doesn’t remind you.






He thought if he told them he was a vicar they’d go easy on him.  He was wrong. My friend who’s an investment banker had a similar experience but much, much worse.


Fortunately, the balls don’t feel like the same thing either.  No more worrying about that knee!  But there are other things to worry about…
I didn’t understand why it had to be so wide, but then I met Richard.

It’s a ridiculous fantasy, of course.  You can’t just chop a man in half and then attach his dismembered body to separate halves of a sex doll.  Well… you can, obviously, but not so he continues to live. You’d think she’d have realised that after six tries, the silly thing.


Then someone falls in love… and someone’s beaten up

Actually, those things happened the other way around, but still… best day of my life.


No, it’s not medical malpractice.  His daughters, as the responsible carers, have to approve any unusual ‘treatments’ he receives.  And they have done.

That reminds me: you know those novelty jelly beans, where some taste awful?  Modelled on Harry Potter, obviously.  Well, I tried one that was supposed to be slug flavour the other day, and do you know, it was nothing like it?  How can they get away with stuff like that?
It wasn’t me.  I never.
Actually, there probably are some other things that would work.  She just hasn’t tried them all yet.

I thought the air hostesses were supposed to look after unaccompanied males until they’ve got through Immigration? 




And I didn’t stand a chance

… now listen, honey.

Well, I don’t like him either, so I suppose we’re even.
She’s right, you know. It’s her boyfriends who are insecure in their masculinity, needing to demonstrate it by fucking her brains out all night.  And you’re not afraid to cry, either.

 


I have some complicated sexual preferences, but my SO has sexual preferences too and they’re not entirely compatible, so I never get to express them.

Thick garden gloves?  Oooh.. I count that as a score.



I understand he was trying desperately to get a role in Ocean’s 8. but they wanted younger actors with firmer buttocks.

 

Respect cannot be earned

It can only be taught.  Something like that, anyway.  Now, more of this.


I’d ‘freely consent’, wouldn’t you?  Well… I mean, I would if I were free, obviously.

I’ll just try to hold it in, I think.  You wouldn’t believe how much fuss Travis makes when I ask him to do that. 

Later on, she started having twice-weekly sessions with her tennis instructor, ironically enough.
With this ring, I thee enslave.

Wow.  You could almost believe she actually intends to do it, huh?  Yum.


Nonsensual BDSM





Of course, it’s more effective to kill mens’ lib off with kindness and reasoned argument.  But not nearly as much fun.









I suppose a blowjob is out of the question? You might as well ask… it couldn’t hurt.

Thank goodness she gave you a safeword.  OK, she’s gagged you and also forgotten it.  But I think that demonstrates her commitment to responsible play.

Oh, nobody still beats her own husband in this day and age do they?

Goodness, what a long one, as no one in the history of the planet has ever said to me.


Beneath contempt

… but I’m working my way up and maybe one day.



Or both?

I think she’s going to bring a lot to the team.

Hmmm. That interview reminds me of something. Oh yes.

It’s great that she’s actually going to shoot me, because I’m terrible at pretending. If I wasn’t screaming in actual agony, it wouldn’t be convincing at all. Women – they think of everything, huh?

Don’t worry, it doesn’t control your brain or anything like that. It’s just a way of improving the feedback loop between disobedient thoughts and unpleasant consequences.