Author: Servitor

Pertinent

I always try to be.

You could try combining the two?




She should really increase your housekeeping allowance, you know.  I think you should take a stand on this.  Be a man, you know?

Just a joke, OK?  If you’re religious at all, please be reassured that I have the utmost respect for all religions.  I uphold your right to worship your god, whatever you call Her.

She’s really making an effort to satisfy your fetish here.

Hmm.  Looks like they didn’t read my email about my likes and dislikes in session.  The corset is supposed to stay on.  Plus, I’m pretty sure I didn’t request the whole plastic sheeting, knives and blood thing. I’ll have to have a word.


Ladies who leash





Seven days in already, so counting down the  days from 21 that’s only 14 to go? Or 83 if it’s 90.  Whatever.

Oh, I think – with all due respect – Madame Sarka is being unduly harsh on English, here.  But then, she’s really good at being unduly harsh.

Actually, the taste depends a lot more on what it had to eat a few hours earlier.

Sometimes she fills the bag with ice, so as he’s sweating in the heat there, he gets some lovely cool drips of water. Usually, though, she doesn’t.

I’m not worried. Just terrified.


Contemplating the Devine

Impressively, one of the top search terms from visitors to this blog is a spelling mistake.  So this is a special post to celebrate the tens of thousands of pageviews by ‘readers’ who cannot spell the word ‘divine’. 

Welcome, guys (I think we can safely assume the gender balance of this particular sample swings heavily male). Just thought I should give you a shout out…you’ve been slowly typing the wrong word into Google for so many years now.  Yay!  Morons.


I’m aware of course that many of my ‘readers’ may not be native English speakers, so calling these people morons is unnecessarily insulting and might not be entirely fair.  But – DUH! – this is a blog for males who enjoy being unnecesarily insulted and treated unfairly – remember?  Morons.

Hey, guys, you know you should try booking a schoolboy session with one of those severe English schoolteacher dommes some time?  You’d be really good at it. Take some cold cream for the journey home.  


On with the devine imiges…



Oooh!  ‘Not as bad as it just conceivably might have been’?  Wow, that’s the nicest thing any woman’s ever said to me after sex.  Usually, they just say something along the lines of “Sorry – would you mind moving a bit further down the carriage?”. which I find very hurtful.






Males don’t really need lobotomies, truth be told.  Still, if it makes the little woman happy, you might as well let her have her way, hmm?


In the end, she just went for a more direct approach.

Yum.

Whimper.


My company was charming

Well, what am I supposed to do with the other 38 seconds, then?








Thank goodness she’s looking out for me.




Don’t try to argue or plead your way out of it – it’s one of those Mars/Venus things, you know?  She’s got some emotional issues that need to be worked out and until Gerald arrives, you’re the only one she can turn to.






In the femdom community, athlete’s foot is considered an STD.






You’ll notice she hasn’t put the surfboard on the fire yet. Another Mars/Venus moment, yeah?  Any ideas why ? Hmm?  No? Sigh…because she’s waiting to see if you’ll do it yourself without being specifically asked, you unfeeling brute. Obviously, this relationship is going to need a lot of work.


Future (im?)perfect

I know you all prefer the visions of a matriarchal future under the loving but firm hand of the divine Anne, but this blog is merely a place to record the facts and my time viewing device thingy does seem more and more often to indicate the coming of an altogther darker time. 


That said, this future is only dark, bleak and brutal for males.  So as far as human rights for actual humans are concerned, things are looking pretty good!

Miss-judged



I’ve been a very bad wolf.

Actually, there’s a funny story about this one.  It turned out there were no fewer than three Miguels on the beach!  So as you can imagine things got a little embarassing – and of course we soon ran out of condoms and beer, so I had to run back to the shop. Still, it all worked out OK in the end.

You can cary an orgasm donor card, you know: ‘I want to help someone come when I die’?  Not that it really makes much difference, but prior consent is a thing with some people.

I think he’s looking at her funny now.  Some men never learn, huh?

And the evening, and the next day too, if need be. One wrist can outlast a great many bottoms, as any schoolmistress will attest.


Beaten senseful


She’s got a very playful personality.








This blog does like to feature male doms and sadists from time to time, in the interests of balance. 
Oh not the legs as well!


 When ‘the mess’ has been tidied up I’m going to be launching a formal complaint.  Think she’s in trouble now? Just wait.



Don’t tell her that Mistress Hilda’s new boy has been branded with her initials… you’d never hear the end of it.



Maids of dishonour



Just as long as I don’t have to do the thing with the blow-up flamingo again.

He’s lucky she’s in such a good mood. When she gets cross, things can get quite unpleasant.
The delightful and sweet-natured Mistress Sidonia of the English Mansion, of course. She has a wonderful blog, full of unusual and interesting stuff.  I’m sure you knew that already.
The editors get a lot of letters like that. They have to hide them from their own wives, of course.

He came to the Sanctuary hoping to act out his fantasies about brutal rape.  Which, in a way, he did.
They look like they have high standards don’t they?  Or maybe the surface was just very, very dustry. He’ll be hoovering the bath after this.

 Here’s an extra one.  Doesn’t feature any actual females, so doesn’t really count (the same principle should apply to elections and board meetings, in my humblest opinion):








Charmful




Some men hope for threesomes.  Me, I’m lucky if I get a onesome.


She’s also never owned an umbrella in her life.

He’s not looking forward to childbirth.

The sounds the floor makes are very different from those made by wood planking.  But very pleasant, nonetheless.

Their ballroom is world famous.


Herarchy



And when she’s sure she makes sure you’re sure.








Giving until it hurts.






He is now.






Well, I hate being whipped, so I can see a difference of opinion there that won’t be easy to resolve.  Still, better not tell her. It’ll only make her cross.




They’re already planning a sequel.  With different male lead characters, obviously.


 

Since you made it all the way down here (try to work more quickly next time, OK? My Blogger stats show that most readers reach orgasm by the third caption so there’s really no excuse for needing all five) here’s a little extra.

The Portly Polar Pinniped has the best collection of ‘mainstream’ video clips I have ever seen.  Many of them very much themed along the ‘women’s world’ that this blog so often celebrates. He must be a busy little aquatic mammal and you’ll want to check out both his uploaded videos and his playlists.

There’s too many to single out all my favourites. But check out this playlist.  It starts with the Charlie’s Angels clip you’ve probably seen, but press on as I’ll bet there’s good stuff here you haven’t. Especially this (rather reminiscent of the Two Ronnies Worm that Turned of blissful childhood memory). Oh: and definitely  – def-in-ite-ly – this.  And so much more.

Flap your flippers together in appreciation of the portly pinniped!