surprised by Joy – Page 4 – Contemplating the divine

Derogatory remarks

Did everyone get what they wanted for Christmas? I hope so. I didn’t, not really. But apparently I got what I needed and what I deserved, which I’m given to understand is actually better for me. So that’s nice.

I wonder what she’s talking about. The usual explanatory notes didn’t come with this one, I’m afraid.

I remember – very soon after I started seeing the lady who became my SO – very nervously broaching the subject of whether she might be prepared to try incorporating a little light spanking play into our bedroom routines. But she wasn’t really up for it. She said she preferred to stick with the bullwhip, shock baton and testicle clamps so I just pretended I’d been joking and I dropped the whole subject. I’ve often wondered how my life might have been different, had she said she’d try it… but it’s no use wishing for what might have been, is it?

Well… sex is important in her work, just as crime is important in a policewoman’s.

It’s going better than she’d dared to hope and she hasn’t even reached the gravel yet.

Oh dear… she’s not exactly trying to make you feel special, is she? But then, you’re not.

Out of my mind, I am held by the power of you, love

…why do you have to be a ball-breaker? Is it a lesson that I never knew?

She’s being much too pernickety. If he’d consented to being tied up and gagged then he can be assumed to have consented to what’s to come, can’t he? No matter what she has in mind. And if the tying and gagging was non-consensual… well, then the principle’s already been breached, right? Might as well carry on and let her do her thing.

One last disappointment for her, in a marriage which, to be honest, has not turned out to be everything she’d hoped for. Still, it looks like she’s taken a bold decision to put her own needs first and make a fresh start, so that’s good.

It’s not the activities she’s horrified by, it’s the price list. I mean, for something that literally anyone can do, without any training.

Ah well, you wanted a heavy pain session, right? Why else forget Mistress’s birthday?

Some things do actually try to happen. But none of it leads to anything, so it’s really all the same.

Punitive pleasures

She’s right, of course.

She puts a lot of effort into giving feedback and making sure the overall messages of the review are clear. So you’ll get a lot out of it. She appreciates obsequious upward feedback too.

I expect Cruella’s employees get plenty of feedback. As do unpaid employees or random passing gawkers at their photoshoots, I imagine.

Another lady with an interest in giving clear feedback. Shame Harold won’t have much chance to learn from it for next time.

I asked my domme once how she managed to switch from non-stop verbal humiliation and contempt to chatting in a friendly way at the end of the session. She just smiled and said she’s a good actress, but she’d probably run out of ideas if it went for more than five minutes or so. Which I didn’t really understand because we’d had a two hour session but it was time for me to go, so I never got the chance to ask.

Hmm… Looks like you’re not going to get a chance to impress her with that dazzling wit. Or anyone. Oh well, win some lose some. You did win some, right? I mean, at some point in your life?

There’s a two-legged animal running about

… but if it’s kneeling down on one knee, I reckon things are probably OK.

It can be more complicated for them to find better quality ‘playmates’, as those are often reported as missing after a while. Which isn’t a problem – she’s even had some minor celebrities who’ve disappeared into her playroom – but it’s an added complication.

With a bit of luck, maybe Pookie will get bored of having monthly orgasms after a while and stop trying so hard. Then it’ll be your turn. Just give it time.

Looks like you have an extra 45 minutes free! Whatever will you do with it? Ironing, dusting… the possibilities are almost endless (within the very limited range of things you’re permitted to do, obviously). Later on, it looks like there’ll be quite a lot of chocolate stains to clean up, so best to get ahead on the regular chores.

She’s enjoying it in a non-sexual way… and if you’re as exhausted and sore as she implies, you’re probably hating it in a non-sexual way too. So that’s very compatible.

She’s quite tender-hearted, so she’ll be upset when she comes back from her next trip to the forest but I expect Vanya 2 can cheer her up.

A few bad men

Let’s hope she learns from this little conundrum. An espresso machine prepared and ready to go just within button-pressing reach of a pilloried hand and she can have her aching, tearful, regretful husband and a freshly brewed cup, both at the same time.

Most of the choices I face are no-brainers, which all the women who have ever known me would probably agree is just as well.

Princess Kali, there – lovely and an accomplished author too.

She could even theme your confession with the outfit by putting the lasso of truth around you. That would be a nice, gentle start to what is about to happen.

Let’s hope the greeting ritual she chooses is number 17. I’m particularly good at that one.

Come on… you’ve got this. Two pawns down is nothing – you started with ten of them, right? Something like that. Try moving one of the little horsey ones.

Punishing workloads

…but these ladies always manage to deliver.

It’s a win-win for her, which is just as well because she really hates losing.

Don’t worry about whether you’ll be able to satisfy her. That’s one of the nice things about being a pain toy: she does all the work and you just have to go with the flow. Let Joy be unconfined.

Necessary suffering, obviously, is something she can fully support.

This is, of course, Miss Chambers, possessor of the finest, most elegant nose in femdom, and to be found (nostalgically) on the Cruella web site.

My own SO, I am glad to say, does not approve of whipping for minor, trivial faults. I have yet to discover a fault she considers to be minor and trivial, but when I do I am sure that will come as a great relief.

Hmm… Think think think. I expect she’ll remember eventually, as long as she’s not distracted by something more important.

Love and abjection

You might want to try noble, stoic silence? No? Oh, OK: frantic pitiful grovelling it is, then.

Don’t worry, it’s only until next Christmas, then she has other plans for her little porky-boy.

I imagine you’re expecting a joke here about being ‘tossed off’ but I won’t because (a) it would be weak, unfunny and in very poor taste and (b) I’ve done it several times before.

Her paces, obviously. Moron. Do you expect her to change the way she walks just to accommodate you?

Personally I’d rather they were in those cute Young Communist Pioneer outfits. But my opinion doesn’t matter.

Equal rights for men

Some people have misunderstood my position on rights for men, so I am happy to set the record straight. I believe all men deserve to be treated in exactly the same way. All of my writings here demonstrate that same commitment, I think you’ll find.

He’s going to be changing his name, of course, as a married man. She just hasn’t yet decided what to change it to, that’s all.

Yup… I can hardly wait! And yet I do.

The branding incident was a bit unfortunate – just goes to show the dangers of handling red-hot iron carelessly – but thankfully no one important was hurt.

See what I mean about equal rights? Free healthcare, right here. Males get free education too – lots of it.

Don’t worry: she won’t tell anyone where you are.

Tie me up and I’ll confess

…a thousand ways that make you statuesque. (just more old music, nothing specifically femdom I’m afraid. But it does feature Louise Wener and those lucky sleeperblokes, which is femdom enough for some).

Watch and learn – although it’s by no means certain you’ll ever get the chance to put it into practice.

Not often I feature maledom here, but I’m open-minded about it – I don’t mind maledoms, as long as they end up beaten, enslaved and crushed in body and spirit.

Whimper.

They are very concerned with fairness – and with unfairness too, obviously.

Well, as long as he’s cool about it I suppose you should be too.

Dressed to oppress

Desires are OK. You’re welcome to have desires. But they’re not needs.

I don’t feel very masculine. But then I never do.

OK, better humour her. I hope she does actually know the way, though – there’s nothing worse than asking someone on the street for directions, and you get into a conversation and it turns out they don’t really know.

She’s right, but even the saddest, loneliest life can be lit up by Joy.

Actually, she’s wrong about that – you don’t need to learn to control yourself, not now she’s around.