schoolmistress – Page 4 – Contemplating the divine

When you’re spoken to

… it’s just bliss.

It’s always my favourite reason!

Gabriel’s pretty smart, for a boy. You could even imagine him ending up as one of those high-end executive secretaries. Unless some girl just comes along and sweeps him off his feet.

In a rare instance of the comics taking ideas from the fandom, I’ve heard that Marvel’s next superhero is called ‘Laundryboy’.

She’s a generous tipper. If you put out.

I once suggested to my SO that I might be better at blow jobs if I’d ever experienced one. She just laughed and asked whether I’d be better at ironing shirts if I’d ever been ironed. So we tried that instead. She’s very practical like that.

The truth hurts

…but I have found that lying hurts even more.

I suppose it can’t hurt to try.

Don’t worry – it’s not the end of the discussion. There’ll be plenty of time for more apologies.

Actually, I had a bad experience just like this one. I thought I’d met the dominant woman of my dreams, but actually all she wanted was unpaid labour in her garden and it never really developed beyond that to a proper FLR, so after seventeen years I gave up on it. She still calls occasionally… and of course I don’t mind popping round for a few hours or days when she does, but I think we both realise the spark was never there.

They originally had proper school lessons but there’s not really much point teaching anything to boys who are only going to leave the school in a hearse, so most schoolwork consists of writing lines.

Not a problem I’ve ever had, I’ll admit.

Fail better

I do that. I’m really good at failing, actually.

A bit of a shame to call in sick – the girls at work recognised you and have something special planned, whenever you’re next in the office.

Marriage is always a learning experience. She’s just determined to make the learning experience a bit more structured, that’s all.

I’ve always tried to use humour to defuse tense situations. On my very first… time with a woman, if you know what I mean, I was very nervous indeed. Fortunately she burst out laughing as soon as I’d taken my clothes off, and she was still giggling when her taxi arrived ten minutes later. I’ve always been able to make women laugh: it’s a gift.

I suppose that must mean she has a basement too – they’re all the same, the houses on that row. I wonder what she keeps down there?

Funnily enough, it turns out Prop 677 wasn’t even necessary. Enough Californians worship Anne as a goddess for her to qualify for the religious exemption, so she didn’t have to pay taxes anyway. Still: it was a nice gesture.

Scornography

Submissive husbands sometimes don’t realise how embarassing it must be for their partners to be married to such hopeless, pathetic losers.

She’s definitely one of those teachers that students will remember all their lives.

Another lady who takes pride in her work. They say pride is a sin but I’m pretty sure that’s not supposed to include women.

As if she didn’t have one packed for the honeymoon already.

Sure, no rush. Pain’s pain, at any time.

Miss-judged

I’ve been a very bad wolf.

Actually, there’s a funny story about this one. It turned out there were no fewer than three Miguels on the beach! So as you can imagine things got a little embarassing – and of course we soon ran out of condoms and beer, so I had to run back to the shop. Still, it all worked out OK in the end.

You can cary an orgasm donor card, you know: ‘I want to help someone come when I die’? Not that it really makes much difference, but prior consent is a thing with some people.

I think he’s looking at her funny now. Some men never learn, huh?

And the evening, and the next day too, if need be. One wrist can outlast a great many bottoms, as any schoolmistress will attest.

Matronising attitudes

Well, all right. As long as I get to have my say on the subject.

That’s fair.

It’s so hard to choose sometimes, isn’t it? Hmm… would I rather have a cock in my mouth or a turd? It’s so hard being submissive – I’ll bet other sexual perversions don’t end up causing such dilemmas.

It’s actually doubly unfair to set particularly hard questions to boys, because we’re stupider.

Hope she reads the instructions. Apparently, if you exceed the recommended dose, it can cause quite a lot of discomfort. I mean, more than the intended discomfort, obviously.

The other was me and I’m a boy

Never quite sure what The Who were complaining about in that song. Looks to me like an idyllic childhood.

You can earn free hair grips and stuff when you spend money too – pretty cool, huh?

She tries so hard… but usually fails.

That’s a bit unfair. I once told my SO that I could do any job a woman can do, so she arranged an internshp at a brothel, giving blow-jobs to oil rig workers on shore leave. To be honest, I wasn’t quite as good at it as the girls but I had plenty of clients once they priced me at a 95% discount.

Yeah, how about it Dave? Equal pay for equal work. Stand up for yourself and be a man, for once. Or ‘you go, girl!’. Whatever.

Our pillory’s my special place. I can spend hours at a time in there, not really doing anything in particular, you know?

Fragile masculinity

…and that’s a precious thing, because – oops! Dropped it. Oh well. I never really used it anyway. I’ll fetch a dustpan and brush, shall I, Ma’am?

Now that sounds like a man who’s strong enough to say sorry.

We hold these truths to be self-evident. That all men are created feral.

Perhaps if you save up, you could buy her time for an evening or something. On your wedding anniversary, for example. That would be a nice gesture.

Divorce in haste, repent at leisure. The positive thing is that he’s actually still seeing quite a lot of his wife, which I think is very healthy.

It’s called ‘I dare you even to think about not telling the truth, you devious little brat.’

And when force is gone, there’s always Mom

Hi Mom!

She’s right you know. It’s the first thing a new husband should learn: always ask permission. Humbly. Even when she’s being an impossible girl.

Boundaries, consequences… firmness. I was reading about it in a book about making your marriage work. Well… I say it was about marriage. Technically, it was about dog training. But the principles are the same.

Best years of his life. And many, many more to come, I suspect.

I am. They have a mission statement, you know. It’s quite inspiring. Oh… now what was it again?

Boundaries, consequences. Didn’t I tell you?

You know how bad girls get

Ah.. school days – cold showers, long tedious detentions, horrible over-cooked cabbage for lunch, exams and homework… not to mention the corporal punishment and the humiliating bullying. It seems so long ago now… must be months at least. I really must book another session.


No I never said that! So unfair, you horrible old cow. Oops.

But not so brave as to refuse. There’s brave and there’s sheer suicidal lunacy.

Spelling ‘wear’ wrong shouldn’t go unnoticed and uncorrected, either.

Mistress Teresa May, obviously. Of all the things that could complicate a career in professional domination, “Having the same name as the Prime Minister” (or vhery nhearly the same) was probably not one that she anticipated.

I think she’s probably right there. You might have to conduct a careful examination of her feet before you’re sure, though.

He probably doesn’t know what the capital of Gabon is. Trouble is, nor does she. I wonder how they’ll resolve the impasse?