panties – Contemplating the divine

Discomfort women

Oh, what a shame. I was so looking forward to sitting in an overcrowded pub with a bunch of self-obsessed men, pretending to laugh at anecdotes I didn’t properly hear over the thumping music. Guess I’ll just be staying in, quietly rearranging her panty drawer. Damn.

Or several orgasms. It’s different for women, you see. In many ways. They get to come, for a start.

What, did you think they were going to bet their own money? That’s just not how this thing works.

She’s noticed there’s always extra demand for those products around the end of July: that’s the local domme’s birthday.

Oh, being blackmailed isn’t so bad. It’s when she decides to stop blackmailing you and publish the photos: that’s the really unpleasant bit.

She doesn’t really care, she’s just passing the time.

And an extra one, inspired by a letter I received this morning.

BDSM… it’s all about giving up power, as I might have to if the prices rise any more.

The hot goddess in this silly satire was of course the truly chilled Goddess Alexandra Snow.

A slap in the face is more effective than ten lectures.

It makes you understand very quickly.

Leopold von Sacher-Masoch wrote that. He knew a thing or two, that lad. They should name something after him, to commemorate his life and work.

Males sometimes find it hard to understand why such things matter. Most women will have a sensible answer, usually along the lines of ‘Hand me your belt and bend over that chair.’ It’s a Mars/Venus thing, just go with it.

Period pains can be pretty intense, as he’s about to find out.

Screaming in agony and pleading for mercy is just another way of giving a woman oral stimulation, if you think about it. I think about it a lot.

More electric shocks. Isn’t the modern world wonderful, with all this technology to make routine domestic tasks easier?

As it turned out, she got a bit confused over which was which, so both got punished for both. It really didn’t matter anyway, certainly not to her.

Cruellan (and Goddessian) material continues to become more and more available. Go check out the ‘SLOC’ programme and download gigbytes of sneering, beatings and delicious unpleasantness – and there are ever more magazines. ‘Is it free’? No it’s not free, you cheapskate, and nor are the best things in life. Like a lot of this stuff, though, I’m sure it’s vastly cheaper than it used to be when these things were bought wrapped in flowery paper in a Soho shop and carried home in shaking hands and breathless anticipation.

The school has a policy about bullying. So does she.

Never underestimate the power of male stupidity

It’s a force of nature. So are these ladies, fortunately.

Ah yes: trigonometry. That’s all about how much longer diagonal lines are than horizontal ones, isn’t it? And they’re a lot more painful too, if they overlay the earlier ones.

As the famous quote goes: “A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of irritating subs who need to learn their place and not question their Goddess.” Or something like that.

I once told my SO I thought she ought to pay more attention to my opinions, but I stupidly chose a bad moment for it: apparently it’s rude to talk to someone when they’re sitting on the toilet. Fortunately, I don’t think she heard what I was trying to say.

Many men find corner time a frustrating waste of time, but I’m usually happy standing there: thinking of all the things she cares about that I’m not fucking up during those hours.

It’s OK to cry. Which is just as well… I don’t know how I’d cope with marriage if it wasn’t.

So did they. Until they didn’t. Anyway, line-writing *can* be part of a loving female-led relationship: I should know, I’ve written that out hundreds if not thousands of times now.

Nonsensical sex

More of these.

Aren’t you just the perfect host? Sorry, I meant *pervert*. The pervert host.

I always get so excited on Pervemas morning, waiting to be unwrapped.

I don’t know what they pay those sweatboys for. Oh, don’t they? Oh, OK. Even so, there’s no excuse for not doing a professional job.

I don’t know what it is about the phrase “Purely routine anal probe” but I feel (deep inside me) it’s not used enough in our own world.

Although everyone says that no one carries coins these days, public shining posts like this one (like the many coin-operated public lavatories you can still find chained up with gaping mouths in Pervworld) often end the day with a rectum uncomfortably full of change.

It’s a lot greener than most other forms of transport, especially since a lot of their fodder is recycled.

Louring ladies

Don’t worry, lots of bridegrooms… no, hang on. Do worry.

This is her ‘girlfriend experience’ service and if you ask me, it’s startlingly realistic.

I used to think I was my own worst enemy, but my SO managed to wean me off those self-loathing thoughts by listing all the people (or at least, the top twenty among our close friends) who loathe me even more.

You don’t need motivating, as you’ll be strapped down and helpless.

They serve coffee too – and water to help settle the boys’ stomachs, but most Mistresses prefer them unsettled.

Unselfish cruelty

Oh, OK. I’d previously always been told it was barely noticeable.

I dream an impossible dream about unfair maidens.

Oh dear. The poor thing. There is actually one little untruth in the account above – despite being so much younger than her poor dead husband, she’s actually *more* sexually experienced than him, as it happens. But I don’t think those kinds of prurient detail need to come out in court, do you? She’s suffered enough.

Lots of things are handwash-only, these days. For others, I’m allowed to use my mouth too.

I once tried sewing some pads into the base of some shorts I often wear around the house. Of course my SO discovered the ruse… and she was very unhappy about it. As she explained, it not only diminished the efefctiveness of any disciplinary measures she saw fit to impose, it also demonstrated ungratitude for all the efforts she makes. She was quite upset – and after she’d explained the point at length, I really felt her pain and I felt bad about it for a long time afterwards too. Don’t do it, guys.

I guess he got the good genes. And now he’ll have the chance to put some of them inside her.

Oh, and as you’re still here, a couple of links. Not ‘found femdom’ exactly (I think of that as being things in mainstream culture that hit our weirdly-situated buttons), as these are both from professional dominatrices but both are very lovely things that caught my eye.

First, the rather wonderful Domina M has taken to posting free videos on her web site. For the avoidance of doubt, the ‘rather’ in that sentence should be read as British delberate understatement to mean ‘absolutely, fantastically, brilliantly’ wonderful. All the videos are great. Rather cleverly (if I understand correctly), the latest one can be accessed directly, the full set need registration of an email address but are free.

More briefly, I thought this was delightful, reminiscent of course of that Orwell quote: “If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face— forever.” But more fun than a 1940s vision of a Stalinist totalitarian Britain.

Fishers of men

… but don’t worry: they are mostly doing it for sport. After hooking you and letting you wriggle and gasp for a while, they’ll usually just unhook you and throw you right back where you were.

This lady’s not planning to go fishing. She’s already caught enough for her immediate needs.

Actually, that’s not quite correct. The relationship is working for Trevor… and will do, right up to the end.

He’s looking forward to a harmonious married life, in which the housework is done with a perky smile, there’s no nonsense about taking financial decisions together and every comfort and care of the Head of Household is attended to. So’s she.

Fortunately, if she does decide to sell them anyway, even in their distressingly clean state, online purchasers of used panties rarely if ever complain to Trading Standards authorities.

You can actually communicate even quite complex concepts eventually in ‘bimbo’ speech mode, but you might have to suck a lot of cock on the way.

That’s actually something you have to ask for specifically, at the OWK. But he shouldn’t hold back. Most of the Ladies will be perfectly happy to deal with any guest who wants to have sex with them and some of them might even invite other Ladies to join in the fun.

Entzückende

As you’ve probably noticed, this blog features ‘themed posts’ on a Sunday. Well, I… what do you mean you haven’t noticed? You don’t just come here to look at the pretty women and wank, do you? This is supposed to be a conversation between me, the artist, and you sitting there, with your trousers down around your…

OK, well anyway, not exactly a themed post today but I noticed I was doing more and more captions, defacing the lovely image of a lady called Nicola Cavanis, so I thought I’d do a special on her, give her her own tag and so on. I expect she’ll be rather pleased, don’t you?

Remarkably, for a young lovely whose photos are all over the Internet, she appears not to be Russian.