medical – Page 7 – Contemplating the divine

Then someone falls in love… and someone’s beaten up

Actually, those things happened the other way around, but still… best day of my life.

No, it’s not medical malpractice. His daughters, as the responsible carers, have to approve any unusual ‘treatments’ he receives. And they have done.

That reminds me: you know those novelty jelly beans, where some taste awful? Modelled on Harry Potter, obviously. Well, I tried one that was supposed to be slug flavour the other day, and do you know, it was nothing like it? How can they get away with stuff like that?

It wasn’t me. I never.

Actually, there probably are some other things that would work. She just hasn’t tried them all yet.

I thought the air hostesses were supposed to look after unaccompanied males until they’ve got through Immigration?

Beneath contempt

… but I’m working my way up and maybe one day.

Or both?

I think she’s going to bring a lot to the team.

Hmmm. That interview reminds me of something. Oh yes.

It’s great that she’s actually going to shoot me, because I’m terrible at pretending. If I wasn’t screaming in actual agony, it wouldn’t be convincing at all. Women – they think of everything, huh?

Don’t worry, it doesn’t control your brain or anything like that. It’s just a way of improving the feedback loop between disobedient thoughts and unpleasant consequences.

Herarchy

And when she’s sure she makes sure you’re sure.

Giving until it hurts.

He is now.

Well, I hate being whipped, so I can see a difference of opinion there that won’t be easy to resolve. Still, better not tell her. It’ll only make her cross.

They’re already planning a sequel. With different male lead characters, obviously.

Since you made it all the way down here (try to work more quickly next time, OK? My Blogger stats show that most readers reach orgasm by the third caption so there’s really no excuse for needing all five) here’s a little extra.

The Portly Polar Pinniped has the best collection of ‘mainstream’ video clips I have ever seen. Many of them very much themed along the ‘women’s world’ that this blog so often celebrates. He must be a busy little aquatic mammal and you’ll want to check out both his uploaded videos and his playlists.

There’s too many to single out all my favourites. But check out this playlist. It starts with the Charlie’s Angels clip you’ve probably seen, but press on as I’ll bet there’s good stuff here you haven’t. Especially this (rather reminiscent of the Two Ronnies Worm that Turned of blissful childhood memory). Oh: and definitely – def-in-ite-ly – this. And so much more.

Flap your flippers together in appreciation of the portly pinniped!

Matronising attitudes

Well, all right. As long as I get to have my say on the subject.

That’s fair.

It’s so hard to choose sometimes, isn’t it? Hmm… would I rather have a cock in my mouth or a turd? It’s so hard being submissive – I’ll bet other sexual perversions don’t end up causing such dilemmas.

It’s actually doubly unfair to set particularly hard questions to boys, because we’re stupider.

Hope she reads the instructions. Apparently, if you exceed the recommended dose, it can cause quite a lot of discomfort. I mean, more than the intended discomfort, obviously.

I beg to differ

… but she rarely lets me.

I don’t want to do anything she disapproves of. It’s too painful.

Always expect the unexpected. Except on this blog, where we ran out of ideas years ago and just keep recycling the same old tropes.

It’s only a small bottle, but they deliver them in packs of 24, annoyingly.

Sure,
darling, of course, I… do you know, I don’t seem to have a pen with
me? What a shame, I’ll just – what’s that? You have one with you,
darling? Oh. Oh good. Right. So I just sign…? There. Right.

Mmm… blackmail fetish and schoolgirl play combined! Lots of fun.

She’s pure as New York snow

and if you’re lucky I expect she’ll tease you.

I expect she was just joking. Like the castration stuff – you shouldn’t take her too seriously when she says things like that.

Well, OK, as long as I don’t have to try to be brave.

So she should.

It worked on the first seven males she encountered. Not the brightest, human males, are they?

Two lonely people… why not give it a go? What’s the worst that can happen?

Violence is golden

Actually, I understand a day is like a whole beetle year. So in beetle years, you’ve got, what… 6 minutes left, maybe longer? And it’s not like you’ll be dying all in one go, anyway.

I don’t have any secret embarassing thoughts about women. They’re all laid out here, for all to see,

A little food goes a long way in the OWK.

Cherishing’s very important. She’s going to insist on lots of that.

It’s silly to be afraid of the sea, anyway. You know, you can drown in just a few inches of water, right? Especially with handcuffs on. My SO told me that once and likes to remind me of it from time to time.

Sexual kneeling

Mmm… concussion play.

To be fair, she did promise Simon a blow-job. So don’t dawdle.

They did a guy last year who – purely by coincidence – actually developed tonsillitis two weeks later. It took forever to get him strapped down the second time, goodness only know what they poor thing thought they were planning to cut off on that occasion!

It likes looking at the pretty pictures and thinking naughty thoughts, though, doesn’t it?

Well, all right then. But I hope Mike doesn’t go talking about it at work on Monday, that’s all.

Cower pose

Actually, little wifey has a spare and could easily be persuaded that medical monitoring at work is important too.

Remember: she loves you and would never want to cause you any pain. But sometimes she feels she has to.

Nicer, but dimmer.

It’s quite a slow way to communicate. But effective.

She believes equally in strict maternal and uxorial discipline.

What is femininism anyway?

Philomena Cunk has the answer. Men are just like women really, they’ve got their own little personalities.

Not femdom – I just adore Diane Morgan.

This that follows is femdom, obviously.