forced bi – Page 6 – Contemplating the divine

Ladies in red

Men’s libbers are actually firmly opposed to being spanked. Most men are, actually. But they always end up thankful for it.

I once paid a prostitute to have sex with me – booked with a credit card. But when I opened the door to her, she looked me up and down, dug around in her purse, handed me the same amount in cash and walked off. Which could actually be quite handy some time, if I’m ever somewhere with no ATMs.

Never try puppy play alongside an actual dog. They’re better at it. Much the same goes for sex and real men. Don’t even try – you’ll just look foolish. And you wouldn’t want that.

Except that she’s started by using social media to advertise, so her first clients are precisely likely to be your friends. And your close family members.

She’s sneaked a tub of lube into the bottom of your tuck box. You know: to make the first few days a bit easier. She’s kind like that.

Subination and dommission

Time to put those bra-fastening skills to work! You trained for years for this – don’t mess it up.

My SO likes card tricks. There’s this one she does where I pick a card and I get the number of strokes of the strap equal to the number on the card. Then she picks a card and I get the number of strokes of the cane shown on the card. Then it’s my pick again, and so on. It’s not such a great trick, but she always finds it amusing.

I find the gentle touch of the electrodes somehow quite reassuring and comforting. It’s like – I don’t have to worry about making my own decisions, you know? Plus, every second they’re not making me scream in pain is a bonus, so they make you appreciate the moment.

Big break, Pansykins! Do this right, you might be promoted to skivvy.

Ah… they’re going to play at being sailors.

What a piece of work is woman

Hmm… well, I’ll give it a go, I suppose. She needs to stop buying me so many books, though. I still haven’t finished The Joy of Ironing and I haven’t even started Getting to “Yes Ma’am”

Men can be stupid like that.

Not seeing a breathing tube… she needs to think about her safety standards. Burial play is a lot of fun, especialy on the beach where the tides give it that extra edge, but you need to play safe.

She likes simple things. That’s why she keeps you around.

I’m sure their scientists have a lot to teach us.

Menial: (adj), relating to men, e.g. ‘menial tasks’

A 2% productivity boost from employing an intern for nothing? I think the shareholders are going to like those numbers – so open wide and don’t spill a drop.

And then we’ll discuss office attire – she has some ideas for him on that.

Surprisingly, given the efforts they’ve put into his training, poochie does not always do exactly as he’s told.

Almost anything you like.

That’s actually a joke: no woman has ever fallen asleep while having sexual intercourse with me. There just isn’t time. Or opportunity.

The wrongs of man

Power drill play… not for everyone, obviously. Just for you.

Despite the harsh look of the place, it’s actually more an institution for rehabilitation and education, rather than punishment as such. Of course, it all hurts, but there’s a purpose to it, that’s all I’m saying.

I don’t see why funerals have to be sad. I want my own funeral to be a joyous occasion, and when I told my SO that, She laughed and said it almost certainly would be.

See – and you were complaining about her fucking other men! All square now, right?

More fun than a trireme: you get to jog along the road in the fresh air.

The weakness in me

If only you could afford her.

The claustrophobes are the easiest to deal with. They just go in the box: no need for spiders, snakes or anything.

Who needs a fetish club when you can get what you need at home?

Vows. That’s what’s next. Lots of vows.

People are her greatest assets.

The seven stages

Denial
Anger
Indiferent denial, with a warning
Bargaining
Denial with retribution
Desperate pleading
Amused denial

You can get an app for it too. Every day, it doesn’t remind you.

He thought if he told them he was a vicar they’d go easy on him. He was wrong. My friend who’s an investment banker had a similar experience but much, much worse.

Fortunately, the balls don’t feel like the same thing either. No more worrying about that knee! But there are other things to worry about…

I didn’t understand why it had to be so wide, but then I met Richard.

It’s a ridiculous fantasy, of course. You can’t just chop a man in half and then attach his dismembered body to separate halves of a sex doll. Well… you can, obviously, but not so he continues to live. You’d think she’d have realised that after six tries, the silly thing.

Beneath contempt

… but I’m working my way up and maybe one day.

Or both?

I think she’s going to bring a lot to the team.

Hmmm. That interview reminds me of something. Oh yes.

It’s great that she’s actually going to shoot me, because I’m terrible at pretending. If I wasn’t screaming in actual agony, it wouldn’t be convincing at all. Women – they think of everything, huh?

Don’t worry, it doesn’t control your brain or anything like that. It’s just a way of improving the feedback loop between disobedient thoughts and unpleasant consequences.

Pertinent

I always try to be.

You could try combining the two?

She should really increase your housekeeping allowance, you know. I think you should take a stand on this. Be a man, you know?

Just a joke, OK? If you’re religious at all, please be reassured that I have the utmost respect for all religions. I uphold your right to worship your god, whatever you call Her.

She’s really making an effort to satisfy your fetish here.

Hmm. Looks like they didn’t read my email about my likes and dislikes in session. The corset is supposed to stay on. Plus, I’m pretty sure I didn’t request the whole plastic sheeting, knives and blood thing. I’ll have to have a word.

Matronising attitudes

Well, all right. As long as I get to have my say on the subject.

That’s fair.

It’s so hard to choose sometimes, isn’t it? Hmm… would I rather have a cock in my mouth or a turd? It’s so hard being submissive – I’ll bet other sexual perversions don’t end up causing such dilemmas.

It’s actually doubly unfair to set particularly hard questions to boys, because we’re stupider.

Hope she reads the instructions. Apparently, if you exceed the recommended dose, it can cause quite a lot of discomfort. I mean, more than the intended discomfort, obviously.