forced bi – Page 6 – Contemplating the divine

The Garden of Earthly Delights

Obviously, anyone’s bound to feel a bit nervous before having a microchip inserted into their brains, but just ask any man who’s had it done – you’ll hear nothing but gratitude.

They’re quite smart, those ‘rate my date’ sites. I tried sneakily entering a positive review about myself and I was automatically redirected to ratemywank.com. Where I built up quite a profile, actually, until my SO stopped all that nonsense.

One positive thing is that he has discovered he and his father-in-law have a lot in common, so that’s nice.

Mmm… edgy. Let’s hope she doesn’t get too drunk this time.

Despite the general female-led tendency of this blog, I want to make clear that I think it is OK to have disagreements between husband and wife in marriage. I disagreed with my SO once, very early on in our life together, and although it was painful – very painful, actually – I think we both found it to be a learning experience that made our marriage stronger.

Written submissions

There’s actually a funny story to how I came by that nickname. Just ask anyone.

Lots of men find it hard to navigate the unwriten rules of modern office etiquette, which is why it can be so useful to receive feedback that is frank, immediate and eye-wateringly painful when the inevitable occasional slip-ups occur.

Another word Auntie Kate can teach you is ‘sadist’ but that’s for another day.

For the grand finale they invite members of the audience to step up and join them.

Myself, I’m not too choosy about clothing – I just wear whatever happens to be locked onto me that morning, you know?

I’ve suffered for my art

Now it’s your turn.

I suppose a little light felching’s not going to harm my heterosexual credentials.

Brave? I don’t know the meaning of the word ‘fear’. Janice does, though.

Safewords only work if you’re actually safe.

Goths, eh? Better humour her, she’s obviously very upset.

Or unless they commit serious crimes, such as making sexist jokes or publishing disrespectful captioned images of famous actresses, obviously.

Ooh!

It’s as far as I can take it.

Do you think you could ask him to slow down for just a moment while I write the captions under the pictures? No? OK, well, I’ll do my – ouch, that was a deep one! – I’ll do my best.

Sounds like someone’s having a bad day. Who’d have thought being sissy maid to a sadistic perfectionist would be so difficult?

Trick question. You need a lot more and she’s waiting for you to tell her that. It’s a Mars/Venus thing, just go with it.

Her sister rebelled against the whole female supremacy thing. Lives with a guy in Brighton and she lets him have his own pocket money and she even helps out occasionally with the housework. Still, each to their own.

What a very sharp observation.

Never say never again

Please? Please don’t say that. I’ll be good, I promise. I –

Its ridiculous really. If she wants a curvy cock, what does she think this is, neatly tucked away in the tube around my scrotum? Women, eh?

He’ll be thanking her particularly fulsomely.*

Maybe I could have sex in the fields? When the weather’s a bit warmer, obviously.

I wonder what the question was… Honestly, who writes these things? Why be so obscure?

And new things about bears. I’ve heard they shit in the… anyway, I’m sure you’ll have a very interesting time.

* ‘Fulsome’ is a word often mis-used to mean ‘complete’ or ‘enthusiastic’ when in fact it means ‘excessively flattering or insincerely earnest’. I once emailed a domme I was visiting, expresing my ‘fulsome’ thanks for my treatment in our last session, to be greeted next time by a Mistress holding a dictionary and a cane.

But females are strong as Hell

Unbreakable!

Servitor’s tip: if you are going to propose to your ‘mistress’ during a ‘fem dom’ session, think about which kinky activities are most appropriate to that moment. Face-slapping is a definite yes, forced bi rather less so.

Even if (as we suspect) the switching moment is not just about to occur, all true male doms understand that females are submissive really, deep down inside. Master Mark knows he just needs to wait… eventually the girls are bound to follow their natural instincts.

An old caption. Unless something surprising happens between my putting this into the queue and publication. Which seems unlikely. As surprising things so often are.

It’s always a shock, in mid-life, to discover you’ve actually been gay for some time without even realising it.

I’d rather go bowling with Simon, actually, but what do my opinions matter?

Spankable moments

If the other maids don’t mind, why should you?

Paying €200 per hour only enhances the humiliation of line-writing or corner time, I find.

And don’t forget that a spit-roast is charged at anal rates at both ends.

They say size doesn’t matter, but even fully lubed up I find that it does.

It’s symbolic of something or other. Most things are.

Not now, John

I’d forgotten this had femdommy bits – mildly suggestive only, I guess, and with that very special 80s pop video fuzziness, but I actually find that nostalgically erotic.*

Anyway, on with the 21st-century nonsense.

I always find a good beating really brings an apology home. And a bad beating, still more so.

It would be very odd to be the sort of guy who visits a sex worker who doesn’t tell him off and treat him with contempt and disdain. A bit limiting, I’ve always thought.

Might be time for that safeword, actually. Now what was it. Pretty sure it wasn’t ‘mmph’, sadly for him.

She hates ironing, loves whipping. That’s why this happening.

There’s a splendid phrase in British english “Face like a slapped arse”. I think that’s one problem I don’t have – I have a face like a slapped face and an arse like a slapped arse. When I’ve been lucky.

*I once caught the first 1 minute of “The Dominatrix sleeps tonight” on a BBC 2 pop programme, when I was, I dunno, sixteen or something. Oh. My. God. Then they stopped playing it. Noooooo!!! For years afterwards, every time I watched a music programme, or a bit of MTV when visiting somewhere (we didn’t have it), there was a little glow of hope I might see it again, or see more of it. Never did until the Internet came along and then I was more jaded, of course.

Painful conversations

They have a 97% record of safe deliveries, so there’s actually very little to worry about, as long as you’ve been a good husband.

And I’m sure Herbert’s is not a cock he’d like suck either! So why on earth are they doing it? Men are odd.

If you’re thinking of trying this, be careful, OK? Those chastity inspectors are no joke. She could lose her keyholder licence and you could lose your… well anyway, just be careful, yeah?

Actually, that’s not quite true. She loves her job, but she’d rather be doing ear, nose and throat surgery. That’s where her real interest lies, but apparently you have to do a stint in every department before you can specialise.

Hmm. It’s tricky, isn’t it?

You make my heart sing

You make everything… groovy baby.

Actually, most such limits turn out to be soft and squidgy, when tested vigorously.

Why do all my dates end up like this? Maybe it’s the poetry…

Actually, I think the whole idea of young women putting their torture skills on display like this is a bit offensive. But no one cares what I think. Even me, oddly.

I think the experience might bring you closer. So will that hasp, when she attaches it to your collar.

There’s an amusing additional caption down here. Hello? Down here…amusing caption? Oh, I don’t know why I bother…