forced bi – Page 6 – Contemplating the divine

Painful conversations

They have a 97% record of safe deliveries, so there’s actually very little to worry about, as long as you’ve been a good husband.

And I’m sure Herbert’s is not a cock he’d like suck either! So why on earth are they doing it? Men are odd.

If you’re thinking of trying this, be careful, OK? Those chastity inspectors are no joke. She could lose her keyholder licence and you could lose your… well anyway, just be careful, yeah?

Actually, that’s not quite true. She loves her job, but she’d rather be doing ear, nose and throat surgery. That’s where her real interest lies, but apparently you have to do a stint in every department before you can specialise.

Hmm. It’s tricky, isn’t it?

You make my heart sing

You make everything… groovy baby.

Actually, most such limits turn out to be soft and squidgy, when tested vigorously.

Why do all my dates end up like this? Maybe it’s the poetry…

Actually, I think the whole idea of young women putting their torture skills on display like this is a bit offensive. But no one cares what I think. Even me, oddly.

I think the experience might bring you closer. So will that hasp, when she attaches it to your collar.

There’s an amusing additional caption down here. Hello? Down here…amusing caption? Oh, I don’t know why I bother…

She says…

… now baby just you shut your mouth.

Not complaining. It’s just that I usually make it through the first three minutes without one, that’s all.

Try to be reasonable. She is. She sees good in everyone actually – a rare gift.

Obviously, it’s all perfectly consensual. She asked for her husband to be beaten. And she’s got a safeword – you know, just in case it goes too far.

My SO and I are actually playing what I’m fairly sure is the longest game of tease and denial ever right now. We started on our wedding night and it’s just amazing. I tried calling the Guinness Book of Records people but they said it didn’t count because I am such a sad little loser.

Downton domination. More of these to come.

Fear and loving

They go together so well. More common than you might think.

In the – very unlikely – event that it does start giving you punishment-level shocks, there’s a helpline you can call that’s open every single day between 10 and 4, and usually only has a very short waiting time. So… nothing to worry about.

That’s the thing about a good thrashing with a cane: it’s so straightforward. You know where you stand (corner, usually).

And there’s some lubricant in case any chafing symptoms emerge, for whatever reason.

Don’t worry: she’s planning to consummate the marriage. Just not with you.

I’ve always thought the mens lib movement would be much more effective if they just recognised reality and put a woman in charge. But they like to try to do things by themselves, bless them.

Ladies in red

Men’s libbers are actually firmly opposed to being spanked. Most men are, actually. But they always end up thankful for it.

I once paid a prostitute to have sex with me – booked with a credit card. But when I opened the door to her, she looked me up and down, dug around in her purse, handed me the same amount in cash and walked off. Which could actually be quite handy some time, if I’m ever somewhere with no ATMs.

Never try puppy play alongside an actual dog. They’re better at it. Much the same goes for sex and real men. Don’t even try – you’ll just look foolish. And you wouldn’t want that.

Except that she’s started by using social media to advertise, so her first clients are precisely likely to be your friends. And your close family members.

She’s sneaked a tub of lube into the bottom of your tuck box. You know: to make the first few days a bit easier. She’s kind like that.

Subination and dommission

Time to put those bra-fastening skills to work! You trained for years for this – don’t mess it up.

My SO likes card tricks. There’s this one she does where I pick a card and I get the number of strokes of the strap equal to the number on the card. Then she picks a card and I get the number of strokes of the cane shown on the card. Then it’s my pick again, and so on. It’s not such a great trick, but she always finds it amusing.

I find the gentle touch of the electrodes somehow quite reassuring and comforting. It’s like – I don’t have to worry about making my own decisions, you know? Plus, every second they’re not making me scream in pain is a bonus, so they make you appreciate the moment.

Big break, Pansykins! Do this right, you might be promoted to skivvy.

Ah… they’re going to play at being sailors.

What a piece of work is woman

Hmm… well, I’ll give it a go, I suppose. She needs to stop buying me so many books, though. I still haven’t finished The Joy of Ironing and I haven’t even started Getting to “Yes Ma’am”

Men can be stupid like that.

Not seeing a breathing tube… she needs to think about her safety standards. Burial play is a lot of fun, especialy on the beach where the tides give it that extra edge, but you need to play safe.

She likes simple things. That’s why she keeps you around.

I’m sure their scientists have a lot to teach us.

Menial: (adj), relating to men, e.g. ‘menial tasks’

A 2% productivity boost from employing an intern for nothing? I think the shareholders are going to like those numbers – so open wide and don’t spill a drop.

And then we’ll discuss office attire – she has some ideas for him on that.

Surprisingly, given the efforts they’ve put into his training, poochie does not always do exactly as he’s told.

Almost anything you like.

That’s actually a joke: no woman has ever fallen asleep while having sexual intercourse with me. There just isn’t time. Or opportunity.

The wrongs of man

Power drill play… not for everyone, obviously. Just for you.

Despite the harsh look of the place, it’s actually more an institution for rehabilitation and education, rather than punishment as such. Of course, it all hurts, but there’s a purpose to it, that’s all I’m saying.

I don’t see why funerals have to be sad. I want my own funeral to be a joyous occasion, and when I told my SO that, She laughed and said it almost certainly would be.