female-led relationships – Page 22 – Contemplating the divine

Erectile disfunction

I got an email about dealing with erectile disfunction. I know they’re probably just spam, but I like to think the best of people, and I was willing to give it a go. At least it made a change from all those emails I get suggesting various ways of enhancing my penis size (sometimes I wish I’d never given my mother my email address, I really do).

Anyway, it said that lots of men experience periods of erectile disfunction, but if I wrote off describing the circumstances in which I…. err.. failed to rise to the occasion, as it were, world-famous doctors were waiting to advise me.

Well, as you can imagine, I was quite excited, and I wrote back at great length describing how I usually experience quite long periods of erectile disfunction shortly after annoying my Significant Other, for example by failing to iron her blouse properly, or over-cooking the pasta. But that I also find it difficult to achieve an erection when she’s just in a bad mood because she’s busy at work, or its her time of the month, or something like that. The email asked me to describe in detail the longest period of disfunction I’d had, so I sent them Time magazine’s review of the year for 2013.

And they never replied! I mean, can you believe it? I sent email after email, and eventually I just received an automatic response informing me that the server in Nigeria where they were based was blocking my address.

Isn’t the Internet a weird place, eh? Oh well. Here are some more pictures of pretty ladies looking threatening, so we can get sexually aroused by the thought of being punished and humiliated by them. Good wholesome stuff.

Beware of dominatrices with ‘strong views’

Now I believe this is Mistress Annabelle. But if it isn’t, perhaps she or the lady it happens to be could, err, correct me. Please?

I don’t know who he is, I’m afraid. Or if he’s available for sessions.

Domestic bliss.

You think?

This of course is the wonderful and creative (and scary!) Mistress Sidonia, of the English Mansion.

It’s ironic, really, as Alanis Morisette might say.

More from the English Mansion. And I think this is Mistress Jessica Wood.

Dear me, she seems a little fierce. Most young brides wait until after the wedding before giving their husbands their first proper birching. Still, maybe she’ll become more tolerant and forgiving of her husband’s faults when you’re married. Some brides do. Many don’t.

When the godesses wish to punish us, they answer our prayers.

True on so many levels.

I hope you had a good Christmas. I don’t know whether I did or not, as I wrote this post and ‘scheduled’ it weeks in advance.

In any case, the real Servitor was long ago laid off and the caption-writing outsourced to Bangladesh, where teams of underpaid workers assemble femdom-themed attempts at erotica and wit using cast-offs from other, more interesting, sites. Sad, but true – like everything else on this blog.

Don’t worry if you can’t fill it. Just ask one of the other men standing alongside you. I’m sure they won’t mind.

Boyfriends! The curse of the sissy sub’s life. Still, I suppose someone has to play the football.

It’s good that she’s not letting these petty irritations affect her work. No messing about, just getting on with it. That’s the way.

Ah, the majesty of the legal system.

“Servitor” is nice, I’ve often thought.

But when you are tied to your mother’s apron…

As I’d love to be…still, this blog talks about castration anyway. Quite a lot, actually.

Sometimes, they are even the same aspect of the same place.

That’s a relief. It would be a bit embarassing to have had to reply “a small cupboard” to any questions about where you spent your honeymoon. And you know her rule about always telling the truth.

Oh, OK. Maybe we’re not talking about castration today, after all. Maybe we’re not talking about anything.

I suspect ‘we’ will.

I hope so too.

Slap happy

You know what you deserve… but here are some pervy pictures instead.

Oh I do hope I get to wear that one.

And paying them for it. And thanking them afterwards. And then in a few months doing it all again. Here, in my case.

And this? I mean – do we have to put up with this sort of thing? Yes.

Actually, slave-fighting’s illegal in most civilised countries. And he can definitely sue if he has his balls bitten off, so really he’s got nothing to worry about.

This image from Tyrannized, like it says. Very good if you like your femdom in bright, primary colours.

I think you’re about to find out how ridiculous you look. And if I know Angie, so’s everyone else.

I grant I never saw a goddess go…

…My mistress, when she walks, treads on the
ground:
And yet, by heaven, I think my love as rare
As any she
belied with false compare.

She walks upon the ground it’s true, but also into my dreams. Ahhh.

Really, men get so obsessive about this sort of thing.

It’s good to have choices. Eat it, don’t eat it. Up to you.

I’ve noticed she seems to stay cross for longer, these days.

Actually, the Ladies always cook too much food at Christmas, and they end up having to throw at least half of it away. But it doesn’t get wasted – they just feed it to the pigs.

The person is political.

And, just for Another Anonymous:

See? It’s worth commenting in this blog. You get stuff.

Time for change

Oh – honey. About
last night… look, next time you meet him, could you be a bit less weird around
Adrian? I mean, goodness, he just
mentioned his operation and you looked like you were having a panic
attack. And then you spent the rest of
the evening staring at his crotch.

Yes, it was very noticeable.
Honestly – anyone would think you hadn’t met anyone who’d been castrated
before.

Don’t be silly – of course you have. You know Simon, don’t you, and Fernando and –

Yes, of course he is. Simon had the op almost – oh I don’t know, two years
ago now. Jeanne told me. And there’s Eric of course. Eric was castrated ages ago. He was one of the first, in our circle.

Yes he is. Honey, I’m
not going to argue about this! Well,
maybe you didn’t know, but believe me Eric’s got nothing down there any more. Angie had a few friends over the day it was
done.

No, well it’s a girl thing, you
wouldn’t have been invited.

You know, actually I think it might be harder to think of
which of the married men we know hasn’t been cut. There’s Alex of course – Karen’s been trying
to get him to the clinic for years now, but you know how stubborn he is. And Malcolm and Kate, but that’s because
they’re still trying to have children.
Kate doesn’t want IVF for some reason, so they’ve agreed they won’t do
it yet.

Paul? Hmmm. I don’t know actually. I haven’t heard anything. Amelia doesn’t like to talk about private things like that. But he does seem a lot calmer than he used to be, don’t you think? Sort of placid. That’s often a sign – it’s because the testosterone isn’t there any more, apparently. Maybe he is. Gosh – it’s almost everyone then, isn’t it?

I guess we’re just at that kind of age. Like a few years back, when everyone seemed
to be getting married, and then everyone seemed to be having kids. We’re a bit behind, this time, I suppose.

Oh, stop looking so panicked. We don’t have to talk about it any time soon,
if you don’t want! I’m fine with how
things are just now. You know I am. They do say it’s best
to get it done before you’re 45, that’s the only thing. And that would still give me time to enjoy a
few younger men before I hit the menopause.

But there’s no rush.
Maybe some time after the summer holidays? You’ll probably want to have sex when we’re
in Portugal, after all. It would make
the holiday really special, knowing it was the last time for you, don’t you
think?

Anyway, we can talk about it another time. Do you want to watch some TV?

Disciplined loving

She’s right, you know. If you have nothing to hide, you have nothing to fear. And in any case, a man should fear his wife, I think, don’t you?

Actually, that’s a bit surprising. Because I seem to remember her saying with a giggle once that she’d heard one of her new freinds had a soundproofed rape room in his basement. Oh well… maybe that was someone else.

Think fast. The tip of the whip can move at over 100 mph.

This is Lady Victoria from Cruella (and from a long time ago

– thank you for the adolescent memories, Mr Rogue-Hagen and Ladies).

We all say things we regret, from time to time. It’s part of married life.

That’s a relief. Let’s hope she ticked the ‘anaesthetic’ option. She can be so forgetful.

La belle dame sans merci

More images of female domination, captioned ones.

Just scream to let them know when it’s back on, would you?

If I want to keep those stats up, I guess I’m going to have to start offering housework tips here…

Mmm…well, that was fun. Schoolboy session next month – four hours in detention writing lines, wasn’t it? Something to look forward to.

Men – being crude and ignorant – need to train themselves to watch out for these subtle clues. Or women need to train them.

Yes. Then they’ll definitely be gay. And married!

Pre-nuptial agreement

Ah, there
you are, darling. Now have you written
that note?

No? Well why not?

Oh don’t be
ridiculous, darling. It’s just a
precaution. I mean, we both love each
other now, of course we do, and I fully expect that we’ll both love one another
for ever. But just in case – just on the
off-chance – that something happens and our marriage isn’t working any more…
well, then it’s useful to have arranged something like this beforehand, that’s all. Isn’t it?

What do you
mean, you don’t know what to say? It’s
pretty simple. You don’t have to worry
about getting the wording exactly right or anything. I mean if you really were committing suicide, you’d
be a bit distraught, wouldn’t you? You’d
probably just put down any old thing.

Just say –
you know, that you can’t take it any more, you hate your life and you’ve
decided to put an end to your worthless existence. That sort of thing. Oh – and probably best to say you’re sorry for any pain you’ve caused me, but that you think this is the best thing for both of us.

Hmm? No – best
not to specify any method. We don’t know
whether you’d be co-operative if I ever needed to use it, so I think I’d better have to improvise whatever I can at the time. If I ever need it.

Are you
writing it now? Great. Well, when it’s done, give it to me and I’ll
put it somewhere safe.

And then I can
tell you all about the plans for the wedding!

Happy thoughts

Morning honey! Hey – I was wondering – did you talk to George at he party last night? Sally’s George?

Yes, I thought I saw you the two of you. So… did you notice anything different?

Yeah? He does seem happy, doesn’t he? Much better than he was. And they make such a lovely couple now – don’t you think? They’re both really happy. I’m glad you noticed that.

Well… Sally let me into a little secret last night. Apparently, she had him fitted with a ThoughtTrainer about two months ago! Isn’t that amazing? Yeah – those things they use on criminals.

Anyway, apparently it’s set to train his thoughts to be more attentive to her. So it makes him happy when he’s obeying her – and it hurts him a bit if he has disobedient thoughts.

Yes, that’s probably why he was having all those headaches last month. I expect he was still getting used to having to think obedient thoughts all the time. But it looks like he’s cracked it now! And that’s why she decided finally to tell us – I can’t believe she kept it quiet for so long.

No, apparently he can’t tell anyone. It’s set to block him saying anything about it. Apparently you can set it up, so it prevents any expression at all of some thoughts. So he can’t disagree with her – that kind of thing.

But he seems really happy. Don’t you think he seemed happy? He had a kind of smile on his face the whole evening, didn’t he? And especially when she gave him little jobs to do. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone so eager.

I guess they’re kind of a perfect couple now, huh? Because she used to hate it when he disobeyed – do you remember? She’s always been like that. A bit like me, I suppose!

Oh – and Julie said that maybe she’d have one fitted onto Trevor. Now he really needs it – don’t you think? Imagine! Grumpy old Trevor as a happy little helper for his wife. I’m looking forward to seeing that!

I hope they’ll be as happy as Sally and George. Don’t you? I’m sure they will be. Lucky old Trevor. I expect it’ll be the best thing that’s ever happened to him.

Don’t you think so?

Right.

So….is there anything you want to say to me?

No?

Oh.

OK.

Well, I guess you’d better get on with your chores, anyway. I’m going round to see Sally. A few of us girls are. I’ll probably be late back, so don’t wait up, OK? Unless there’s something you want to talk about, when I get back.

OK, bye then!