Category: cuckold

Humbling experiences

‘PIV’ (Penis in Vagina) is not the only sort of sex a married couple can try, after all.  There’s ‘SIA’ (strap-on in anus), for instance, or ‘PIALTTUIBEIADREFWTSITP’ (penis in a little tube tucked up in bed early, in a different room entirely from where the sex is taking place) too.

 


 

 

Thank goodness for that.

 

 

My SO and I take all the financial decisions together.  I don’t actually take part in the decision, obviously, but I’m usually there when it’s made and that’s what matters.


 

 

 

Findom clients are born not made, they say.  One every minute, I’ve heard.

 

 

Actually, she decided in the end that most of the guys she’s fucked probably wouldn’t get the reference (they tend not to be bookish types), so she went with something a bit less subtle on the same theme.


 

Implacable taste

Let’s hope this little misunderstanding is sorted out quickly.  Fortunately, it looks like she’s on the case.

 

 

She’ll rearrange you till you’re sane.  Or not.

 

 

 

 

Why are consequences never nice consequences?  I once asked my SO that, but she just laughed and hit me in the face. 

 

 

 

He’s actually called Trent but thank goodness he’s around, anyway – one less thing to worry about on the big day.






Just a fantasy, obviously.  She is far too professional for any such an on-screen slip-up in real life.  The guy on the right seems like rather a forward young man, don’t you think?

Supremely confident

Thank goodness he’s around.

 

 

 

My SO can be quite inconsistent on this.  If a tawse or cane she was hoping to use goes missing – or on one memorable occasion the batteries from her favourite cattle-prod – she instantly suspects me and we ‘have a little chat’ about it.  But if a key isn’t where she’d expected it to be it’s ‘just one of those things’ and ‘is bound to turn up in a month or two’.  Women.  Eh? 

 

 

 

As anyone deeply familiar with the OWK photographic record will testify: describing an OWK slave as ‘that one with the stupid moustache’ isn’t really specific enough.  They might have to have a lot of slaves punched to be sure to get the right one.  Still, no real harm done if so, I suppose.

 

Am I the only male sub whose first experience of toilet slavery was during the interval during a fully-booked theatrical performance?  I suspect not.

 

 

 

…which is actually true of a lot of things, if you think about it.  As I’m sure you have.  Pervert.

 

 

Correct me if I’m wrong…

 … or if I’m right, for that matter.

Another year, more of the same.  Here we go.

Three and a half men, then.



Some people have complicated femdom fantasies.  Others just have simple femdom realities.



Here – have you heard this one?  Why did the blonde in charge of the Sexist Detention Centre press the red button in her office?  To give all the inmates a series of agonising electric shocks!  OK, you might not think it funny but, believe me, she does.



She’s not really a believer in unisex fashion, you see.




Don’t get her wrong – she’s prepared to accept there’s plenty of room for improvement in the relationship.  Just not in anything she does.



Contumelious captions

Older husbands might start to find it hard to bend down every morning (and evening, obviously) for the greeting, but there’s a simple solution, especially after retirement – just stay on hands and knees all day.



Mock away.




If you wiggle about, he’ll probably finish quite quickly.


 

They know all the tricks.  Actually, occasionally the ‘clients’ aren’t faking and are genuinely unconscious, but then if they’re hung up and severely whipped, they can’t feel it and no harm done?  Right?  Well, OK, technically some harm maybe, but nothing to get bothered about.

 

 

 

Yup.  I was asked the other day if I’m sexually experienced and – with all due modesty – I did have to say that I thought the stain on the floor in front of my computer table could speak for itself on that particular score!  She looked suitably impressed.

 


 

Sexually impermissive

She is technically a sex worker but then what you are doing is not technically sex, so I think it’s really up to her.


 

 

You could try giving her just a little trouble.  Just to test that wrist action. 

 

 

 

Yeah, it’s not a sexual thing for him.  Or for you, as you’ll discover.

 

 

 

I had a very sheltered upbringing – so much so that I was still a virgin when my second wife divorced me.

 

Obviously.


 

 

 

 

 

 

Embarassingly accurate

I wonder if she’s jealous that she never gets to do the ironing any more?

 

 

 

The girls could probably handle more than ten reasons, but at that point the boys would run out of fingers so it’s probably best not to go there.

 

 

 

Don’t worry, he won’t be there all night.  She’s got a pillory in the bedroom too.  In fact, it’s the same model so he can just stagger there still wearing the cross-piece and it slots right in.


I was too worried about ending up with some embarrassing word tattooed on me in Chinese or Japanese so my SO kindly agreed to do it in English instead – just as well, as it turns out ‘wanker’ doesn’t translate directly.

 

 

 

You could try licking the tears back up.

 

 

 

Terror the human form divine

A family friend was branded by a Canadian domme.  He kicked up a bit of a fuss when she started on the French translation, but ‘la loi c’est la loi’, I guess. 

 

 

He’s sulky because when they have guests around he’s usually allowed to stay up.  But after she had to deal with a tantrum at their last dinner party, she’s decided not to risk it.

 

 

 

 

Don’t forget to look super-relaxed.




A few hours spent torturing a male doesn’t make a lesbian relationship any less vanilla, any more than cuddling together in front of the TV with a box of chocolates makes them choco-fetishists. 


 

 

I’m sure you don’t mind – you married her for her personality, not her looks, right?  And she certainly has a very strong personality.

 

 

 

 

Strictly enforced whims

C’mon, give it a chance.  She wore the red dress for you, after all.

 

 

 

Don’t get the wrong idea: they take bullying very seriously.  All the girls get three bullying classes every week (as do the boys and the male teachers, albeit in a different way), and most of them are in the after-school club too.  They’re regional champions.


 

 

Actually, I’d have been able to tell Kurt was here even it wasn’t for the loud grunting noises – who else leaves a bag of dirty laundry waiting for me in the hall? One day, he’s going to go too far and he and I are going to have to have words.  But not today: he’s a bit busy and that dinner won’t make itself.

 




Oh well, so much for that day out.

 

 

This could turn into a vicious spiral.

 

 


 

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