Category: castration

Misbehaving



I’m sure he’d like to count the days.  Unfortunately, they keep the facility on a random sleep-eat-exercise-sleep cycle lasting anything from four to 48 hours, so he’ll have no idea how much time has passed.  Which is just as well, because she’s not actually going to be back in six months: that’s just a little white lie to avoid hurting his feelings.






I had this idea because I’m going diving next week.  But don’t worry – I’m not being fed to the sharks!  It’s all very safe.  My SO and I are going with these two lesbian friends of hers, one of whom is going to be my ‘dive buddy’.  It’s her job to check my tank has enough air, as well as to ensure the proper amount of lead weights are securely attached around my belt, wrists, ankles and neck.  So, yeah: perfectly safe.






It’s good to be a dog.






The pain from the spikes is all about her, too.








I made a similar point to my SO just the other day – wouldn’t it be better some time if I felt sorry of my own accord, instead of her having to make me feel sorry?  But after quite a vigorous discussion, I realised what a bad idea it was.


Subjugatrices




Goodness, no. Once would quite enough – look at that horrible thing!  You know, I’ve been resisting my SO’s demands to let Her act out Her castration fantasy for years but She just went on and on about it and I finally said yes.  But I was very firm. Once – just once, and then we’re not going to hear anything more about it, OK? So… that’s done.






Dog food looks awfully fatty but actually you can lose weight quite effectively on a diet of nothing else – particularly if you have difficulty keeping it down.


She’s been showing her love for you with various men for a while now, actually.  This just makes it official.

She makes a very valid point, there. I think you might have to agree with her. Always.

And right now Mistress would like to get the clients safely locked away, take off that ridiculous and uncomfortable clothing and put her feet up with a mug of hot chocolate for an evening in front of the TV, thank you very much.  So in you go.


Scornography


Submissive husbands sometimes don’t realise how embarassing it must be for their partners to be married to such hopeless, pathetic losers.





She’s definitely one of those teachers that students will remember all their lives.

Another lady who takes pride in her work.  They say pride is a sin but I’m pretty sure that’s not supposed to include women.
As if she didn’t have one packed for the honeymoon already.

Sure, no rush. Pain’s pain, at any time.


A pretty face may be enough to catch a man, but it takes character and good nature to hold him.

The title quote, of course, is from Sir Thomas More’s Utopia.  But you knew that, right?  You’re an educated, sophisticated man of the world, who knows that the capital of Gabon is Libreville, can calculate complex sums quickly and accurately and understands the main principles of the annealing process in glass manufacture.  You just pretend to be an ignorant schoolboy who doesn’t even know that the capital of Australia is Sydney.*


Apparently, I have ‘kick-me testicles’. I never even knew that was a thing, but there you go.


Actually, I get quite a lot of normal healthy sex in my current relationship – maybe a bit rough, but really just your basic penetrative sex, fellatio… that kind of thing.  Several of Her favourite boyfriends are bisexual, so I get a lot of action.  I have to say, I prefer perversion, on balance.

And ‘cum-bucket’ isn’t even a word, so in a sense the question of spelling doesn’t even arise.
Her bedroom wall is covered with hunting trophies.






It is, right? I mean, better than nothing. You’re enjoying yourself, yeah?  I’m afraid this is the last caption today, so you’d better finish now.. that’s right.  Up and down, up and down.  Tugtugtug? A bit more – there! Excellent.  And… just get the last out, there… great. See you on Friday!





* Yes, I know.  It’s a joke.  If you don’t get it, maybe it’s my fault for being too obscure. Or if you’re a humiliation slut**, maybe it’s your fault for being such a moron, hmm? Too stupid to actually wank and think at the same time, are we? Gosh… a small cock and a tiny intellect – didn’t exactly win the first prize in life, did you? Try one of those blogs featured on Tiresome Tropes, instead, lamebrain, maybe it’s more your level.


** If you’re not a humiliation slut, I don’t recommend reading the rest of the comment above.

Blonde justice

The truth can hurt, sometimes.

They asked Nurse Jenkins to perform the procedure.  She’s a pain management specialist, you see.  She’s very good at it.

If you do want to discuss it with your father-in-law, you’ll have to wait until he’s finished his corner time.
Well, I hope someone’s consented to this. Otherwise, I find the whole thing a bit unethical.


Mistress Eleise can lead me into temptation any time She likes.






The strength of a woman


You know, I’ve forgotten what I was going to ask about now. Often happens.  Oh well.

Remarkably, with that sniper rifle she can give herself an orgasm with an man who is anything up to a kilometre away.

Medical opinion is divided on the advisability of gagging castration patients during their operations.  On the one hand, there are those who say it’s best to shut the bastards up; but on the other, there are surgeons who get off on the screaming.  The debate continues, in the medical journals.

First dates can often be a bit embarassing… just go with it.

Busy busy.


Contemplating the Devine

Impressively, one of the top search terms from visitors to this blog is a spelling mistake.  So this is a special post to celebrate the tens of thousands of pageviews by ‘readers’ who cannot spell the word ‘divine’. 

Welcome, guys (I think we can safely assume the gender balance of this particular sample swings heavily male). Just thought I should give you a shout out…you’ve been slowly typing the wrong word into Google for so many years now.  Yay!  Morons.


I’m aware of course that many of my ‘readers’ may not be native English speakers, so calling these people morons is unnecessarily insulting and might not be entirely fair.  But – DUH! – this is a blog for males who enjoy being unnecesarily insulted and treated unfairly – remember?  Morons.

Hey, guys, you know you should try booking a schoolboy session with one of those severe English schoolteacher dommes some time?  You’d be really good at it. Take some cold cream for the journey home.  


On with the devine imiges…



Oooh!  ‘Not as bad as it just conceivably might have been’?  Wow, that’s the nicest thing any woman’s ever said to me after sex.  Usually, they just say something along the lines of “Sorry – would you mind moving a bit further down the carriage?”. which I find very hurtful.






Males don’t really need lobotomies, truth be told.  Still, if it makes the little woman happy, you might as well let her have her way, hmm?


In the end, she just went for a more direct approach.

Yum.

Whimper.


Charmful




Some men hope for threesomes.  Me, I’m lucky if I get a onesome.


She’s also never owned an umbrella in her life.

He’s not looking forward to childbirth.

The sounds the floor makes are very different from those made by wood planking.  But very pleasant, nonetheless.

Their ballroom is world famous.


Herarchy



And when she’s sure she makes sure you’re sure.








Giving until it hurts.






He is now.






Well, I hate being whipped, so I can see a difference of opinion there that won’t be easy to resolve.  Still, better not tell her. It’ll only make her cross.




They’re already planning a sequel.  With different male lead characters, obviously.


 

Since you made it all the way down here (try to work more quickly next time, OK? My Blogger stats show that most readers reach orgasm by the third caption so there’s really no excuse for needing all five) here’s a little extra.

The Portly Polar Pinniped has the best collection of ‘mainstream’ video clips I have ever seen.  Many of them very much themed along the ‘women’s world’ that this blog so often celebrates. He must be a busy little aquatic mammal and you’ll want to check out both his uploaded videos and his playlists.

There’s too many to single out all my favourites. But check out this playlist.  It starts with the Charlie’s Angels clip you’ve probably seen, but press on as I’ll bet there’s good stuff here you haven’t. Especially this (rather reminiscent of the Two Ronnies Worm that Turned of blissful childhood memory). Oh: and definitely  – def-in-ite-ly – this.  And so much more.

Flap your flippers together in appreciation of the portly pinniped!

Until morale improves


There is actually a technique for pushing a pole all the way through a man’s alimentary canal without causing internal injuries.  Sadly, she doesn’t know it.

I would explain, but Someone doesn’t allow me to speak to strangers.  Or, indeed, people we know.

Residents staying for longer get a food dispenser too.  But you’ll be OK without – it’s only ten days.
 This is the lovely, clever and witty Tiffany Naylor, yet another Lady who has had the misfortune to encounter Servitor in ‘person’.
I’m surprised he can afford to visit her, on a teacher’s salary.  Still, he gets his money’s worth.

I’ve actually set up my loozr account so it automatically sends a message to any woman who spends longer than five minutes within ten metres of me.  I don’t know what the message says, but on the very rare ocasions it’s been used, it seems to have been quite effective.