Category: caption

Correct me if I’m wrong…

 … or if I’m right, for that matter.

Another year, more of the same.  Here we go.

Three and a half men, then.



Some people have complicated femdom fantasies.  Others just have simple femdom realities.



Here – have you heard this one?  Why did the blonde in charge of the Sexist Detention Centre press the red button in her office?  To give all the inmates a series of agonising electric shocks!  OK, you might not think it funny but, believe me, she does.



She’s not really a believer in unisex fashion, you see.




Don’t get her wrong – she’s prepared to accept there’s plenty of room for improvement in the relationship.  Just not in anything she does.



Womanly vices

Sure she can.  Lucy doesn’t mind a few bruises on her toys – if anything, it can make them even more sensitive.


 

She finds it pretty annoying working for a male CEO, actually, which is why it’s so important that she can talk through her day and work off some of those frustrations when she gets home.

 

 

A bit more lube, maybe?

 

It’s as if your pain receptors are directly linked to the pleasure centres of her brain.  It’s great when a couple just ‘clicks’ like that.




He didn’t have the nerve to ask whether she allows her clients ‘happy endings’ but she does – specifically, she unties them and lets them limp away.


 

Think of all the fun I’ve missed

Oh, you can wait, surely?  So selfish…


Males often don’t listen properly to women.  The best thing, I find, when discussing something important, is to concentrate 100% on listening, not speaking.  That way, there’s less danger of a painful misunderstanding.



Accessorise! 




I wouldn’t say ‘peaked’ exactly.  It continued to rise for a bit, then fell off a cliff, so to speak.




Christmas Special tomorrow on Contemplating the Divine!  What’s special about it?  Oh, well – the captions are all about Christmas!  Like this one, y’know… not that special, I suppose.  But then who among us is, apart from the ladies obviously?


Stunning and entrancing

 La la la la lah la la la-lala…

Maybe they’ll show you what’s in the trunk.  Although being British, I find the word ‘boot’ comes more naturally to mind when contemplating this scene.

 

 

I find my body works much better when I’m being obedient.  Less bruised, for one thing.

 

 

Wonderful to watch a creative mind at work.  In the end she just called it Unfinished Composition #1 and decided to treat the whole series as a work in progress.  They say that a work of art is perfect not when it is complete, but when there is nothing left to take away and that’s certainly her philosophy.

 

She’s right of course – what’s a few moments of pleasure from an unhealthy treat, compared to hours shuffling as fast as the ankle chains will allow, on the combined treadmill and electric shock device?  She doesn’t want to have to increase your daily stint on that, if she can possibly help it, does she?

Oh dear.  Let’s hope the bank hotline doesn’t keep you waiting for long.



Sustained abjection

Thank goodness for that.  Well… thank Mistress Magda, anyway.

 

 

Tom’s looking forward to their feedback.

 

 

 

Or a card game.  ‘Pairs’ springs to mind, for instance.

 

It’s good when people feel they can share about their private life with co-workers.



Don’t worry – he’s not as bad at it.  Just bad.


 

 

 

 

Contumelious captions

Older husbands might start to find it hard to bend down every morning (and evening, obviously) for the greeting, but there’s a simple solution, especially after retirement – just stay on hands and knees all day.



Mock away.




If you wiggle about, he’ll probably finish quite quickly.


 

They know all the tricks.  Actually, occasionally the ‘clients’ aren’t faking and are genuinely unconscious, but then if they’re hung up and severely whipped, they can’t feel it and no harm done?  Right?  Well, OK, technically some harm maybe, but nothing to get bothered about.

 

 

 

Yup.  I was asked the other day if I’m sexually experienced and – with all due modesty – I did have to say that I thought the stain on the floor in front of my computer table could speak for itself on that particular score!  She looked suitably impressed.

 


 

The thing that’s still around

You know: that thing.   It’s still going, doing its thing – more than ever, in some ways.  Annoying thing.  So here are a few more captions about the thing.









PS – Some readers might be
‘triggered’ by the second of these captions (being ‘triggered’ is
similar to disliking and disagreeing with something, but combined with a
strange compulsion to tell everyone you dislike and disagree with it,
rather than just reading something else).  I do understand that many
people have strong opinions about the thing, for instance preferring
horse medicine to, y’know, medicine that demonstrably works to reduce
human death rates.  I’d be happy to debate your ‘opinions’ on that, just
as soon as you do a medical degree and as long as the opinions can be
subjected to double-blind randomised control trials (oo-er sounds a bit
kinky).  Oh – and you have to understand Simpson’s Paradox, OK?