caption – Page 13 – Contemplating the divine

Treat you with a vengeance

From a song by the lovely Toyah. She once interviewed the strange, rather disturbing but oddly exciting Miss Martindale, of Aristasia fame, you know.

Images are unrelated, unless they’re not.

You might want to keep it handy; I sense it’s going to be one of those days.

Keep calm, she’s a professional, she does this all day.

The key is to listen to both sides of the story, then ignore whatever the male said. After that, it should be easy enough to get both sides to agree who was at fault and on the appropriate course of action.

The easy way was difficult, but this is – oddly – going to go a lot more smoothly. She’s quite determined, so that’s that.

Don’t be such a wimp. Don’t you trust her?

We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope

So true. Martin Luther King said that and if I’m honest (I’m not, in general – see the disclaimer to the side of the blog, there), he was probably talking about something other than femdom chastity regimes. But you never know.

You did bring the Travel Scrabble, right?

This is the lovely Little Caprice, most of whose oeuvre is unsuitable for viewing by the omega-males who read this blog (and I had to crop the image above to make it suitable) so don’t go googling her, OK?

One of the great joys of teaching is helping the pupils come to realise that they can achieve anything they set their minds to, if they are determined enough.

Don’t worry about being late, I’m sure they’ll be very understanding. Just get in there and do what you came to do.

I read somewhere that one of the many Femsuprem parties now contending for power intends to require all locksmiths to register their businesses and to log all requests for replacement keys in a central database. Seems a bit draconian, but then so, I suppose, are the plans to send sexists to prison camps staffed by whip-wielding guardresses in tight-fitting leather uniforms. And no one’s complaining about that…. no one who matters, anyway.

Of course, if she *does* actually want you to suffer, that might be counter-productive, but I suppose it’s worth a go.

He found life a bit difficult, after the OWK closed down, I heard. But he wouldn’t change a thing, if he had it all to do it again.

Imperial leather

More captions from a bygone age. Several bygone ages. But all featuring enchanting unfairness from the fairer sex.

Curiously, as a result of these two ladies taking their roles slightly further than he had anticipated, the ‘genleman’ in question was late for a meeting of the British Cabinet at which a fateful decision was taken that, had he been able to attend, he would have counselled against and thus avoided the siege of Khartoum and all the unpleasantness that stemmed therefrom. But Luce and Eliza got paid and that’s the important thing.

Forgive her Father, but not just yet if you don’t mind.

Albert, of course, died tragically young – an outcome for which the young queen was in no way responsible. So please don’t ask her how he actually died, she prefers not to think of the night in question. Nor was it in any way connected to the form of penile implant that was subsequently named after her late consort. Historians are quite clear on that and to suggest otherwise is technically treason, even today. Interestingly, the practice of ‘queening’ may well have been named after Victoria, although the suggestion to rename it ‘queen-empressing’ after 1877 never really caught on.

I think Kitty might need to comfort her quite soon, as she seems quite affected by the sight, the poor delicate thing.

Not compensations every time, but certainly compensations.

Uncontrolled devotion

Develop the habit of cringing in terror early enough and everything else pretty much follows.

My SO recently bought a trophy cabinet, so she must be expecting to win something. I asked her what and she just laughed and said it was going to be a surprise. It could be anything, really… I mean she’s good at so many things.

You just have to tell him you’re not doing it any more, that’s all. Stand up for yourself. Be a ma- anyway, stand up for yourself.

If you do have any questions ask now, because when the procedure starts you’ll be screaming much too hard to get any intelligible words out. It’s important that you understand the details of the procedure, as it’s much more fun for them that way.

I’ve got a skilful tongue too – just ask the toilet seat.

He is seriously rich – might even try to bribe them not to go through with it. But they’re professionals: he booked them for four full days of severe school discipline and they’re determined to give him his money’s worth.

Sorely mistaken

She enjoys a good laugh – and a good ballbusting, too. Sometimes she likes to enjoy them both together but today she seems to be in a more serious frame of mind.

If you don’t even have to pay for Option B, then I reckon it’s the deal of the century. I pay hundreds of pounds an hour for that.

It’s a dilemma. I’m sure they’ll do the right thing, in the end.

Aren’t males disgusting? No wonder he’s not allowed in the house.

You should be brave and go first, even if it is a bit dark and eerie. Don’t worry: she’ll be right behind you.

With apologies to those readers who aren’t really cellar fans.

She has to deal with so much nonsense…. you can’t imagine.There are some very sick websites out there that will just make up all kinds of hurtful stuff with no basis in reality, especially about a big star like Ann(i)e.

Nonsensical sex

More of these.

Aren’t you just the perfect host? Sorry, I meant *pervert*. The pervert host.

I always get so excited on Pervemas morning, waiting to be unwrapped.

I don’t know what they pay those sweatboys for. Oh, don’t they? Oh, OK. Even so, there’s no excuse for not doing a professional job.

I don’t know what it is about the phrase “Purely routine anal probe” but I feel (deep inside me) it’s not used enough in our own world.

Although everyone says that no one carries coins these days, public shining posts like this one (like the many coin-operated public lavatories you can still find chained up with gaping mouths in Pervworld) often end the day with a rectum uncomfortably full of change.

It’s a lot greener than most other forms of transport, especially since a lot of their fodder is recycled.

Enigmatic

Yes, just imagine how awful that would be. But don’t imagine too hard, or the spikes might start digging in painfully. Oh – too late? Sorry.

It’s amazing how modern technology can take the drudgery out of life but to a sufficiently determined woman, there’s still plenty of drudgery to be found.

I expect it’ll turn up eventually… and while it’s missing, you might even find out you could have done without it all along. It’s often that way.

Oh dear. And her feet too! Sigh. Scurry.

Don’t be so selfish – or possessive. In fact, it’s probably a good idea to get out of that last habit, now you don’t have possessions.

Reigning in my heart

It’s best if she doesn’t do any rowing, as she wouldn’t want to work up a sweat and ruin the shoot… anyway, that’s what she brought you for. Don’t worry, she’ll probably do some paddling later, when the two of you are back at the hotel.

So much better to come to a negotiated settlement like this than have an unpleasant fight in court. More fun for her, too.

Not a good morning for her, not going to be a good evening for you. Consequences, remember?

She’s multi-tasking: doing stuff *and* ignoring you.

If you want to dispute the analogy, I’m sure she’d be only too happy to force your feet into a nice pair of 5-inch heels for the last two flights.

I think Ryan would definitely say it’s up to her.

There was a time

…when they used to say...

Yes, it’s another 1980s/90s -ish-themed post. Those heady days of big hair, big music and big phones. What’s that? yes, I’m well aware I’ve ‘done’ the big hair / big phone joke before. But this is a nostalgic post, it’s supposed to hark back. Oh, and it’s mostly very British. I hear they had the 1980s in other countries, but it doesn’t sound half as good. We had ladies with whips on The Tube and Space 1999 too…

Anyway, this is not another issue of Empress Magazine (but one is even now being lovingly pasted up using photographic paper and wax and will soon be linotyped into existence and rushed out in vans to newsagents worldwide to be handed out to furtive punters in plain paper bags). No, this is just captions relating to another time. That’s what it is. Here they are.

Probably not a good idea to lick up too much latex shiner, then act as a live ashtray, though. Foom! But quite funny for any watching dommes.

For some reason, in the UK this sort of image is known as a ‘glamour shot’.

OK, technically this one isn’t very British. This is, remarkably enough, Tina Fey in a muppet movie. More kids’ films should feature attractive ladies dressed as guards from totalitarian regimes, in my view.

It’s a good look for him. The screaming, I mean. The moustache is meh.

It was all a very coy way of talking about that ‘very special time of the month’. Or ‘special time every three months’ or year, whatever your chastity regime requires.

Yeah… we expected a future with jet-pack travel, bases on Mars and cities beneath the oceans. Instead, what did we get? A near endless supply of femdom porn, free and available to be furtively consumed in the comfort of our own homes. Thank goodness for that.

With huge apologies throughout to Cruella. Still going! Pay Andy a visit.

There’s no pleasing some people

I’m glad to say.

The rating scale goes up as high as ‘adequate’ but unlike many such platform rating systems, most clients don’t hand out the highest rating as a matter of routine.

Since he’d gone to the trouble of bringing it, she did give him a quick twenty with the stupid thing, before sending him back to get the right one, in order to start the punishment proper. Plus the extras for wasting her time, of course.

It’s funny, because the next day she had a client who found her socks *too* stinky. Unlike this situation, she didn’t send him away straight away: instead, he stayed the night tied up on the floor, face down in a pile of laundry, as I understand it. But he had to apologise expensively too.

If he misbehaves, he’ll certainly experience days when he is much *less* happy – and not just over the next two weeks.

Nubbin has a giantess fetish and they each have a ‘making love to my girlfriend while this sad little guy remains locked in chastity’ fetish, so they’re very well suited to one another.

She’s a professional so she’ll castrate you anyway, even if she doesn’t enjoy it or see the point. I think that kind of dedication is to be celebrated, don’t you?

NB, nursenicoclinic appears no longer to be operating (pun intended) but if anyone can find someone to whom I should be crediting the image of this lovely if occasionally rather malpractising lady, please speak up.