Category: bride

Stern words

One of the nice things about being submissive is that you’re rarely in any doubt about whether your partner’s in the mood for sex, or precisely what she wants to do (and indeed, with whom).

 

 

 

 

She was kind enough to give him a long warm-up before the painful bit, so I hope he’ll be brave.  If not, the shackles attaching him to the cross can be brave for him.




I believe some of the wedding guests have sprayed the van with silly string and attached tin cans and all sorts of other stuff to the back of it.  You won’t actually see it, from inside the sack, of course, but it’s nice to know these traditions are being maintained.




Marriage guidance counsellors recommend the anal hook – it’s amazing how much easier those petty marital disagreements go, once you’re dangling.


 

 

Oh no – not the comfy chair!


 

 

 

 

 

Romantic disdain

 

Women… sometimes they want you to scream hysterically, cry and beg for mercy, sometimes it’s just ‘annoying’.  My SO gave me 24 hard strokes with the cane yesterday and when I started shrieking and pleading frantically (on or maybe just before stroke number two, if I recall correctly) she told me she was ‘just not in the mood’.  I mean, at that point I was committed, you know?  It’s a physical thing for us guys… can’t just switch it off.

 

 

 

The frightening – truly terrifying – thing about assisting with any kind of competitive sport in OWK is that one of the Ladies has to lose.  They often don’t take it with good grace, you know.

 

 

Needless to say, inflicting this sort of public BDSM play on passing strangers is not OK.  And even worse when it’s in front of members of your family, as here.

 

 

The customer is always right.


 

 

The gimp hoods are going on in the later, private ceremony.  When you and flappy-ears take your real vows.

 

 

Equal rights for men

Some people have misunderstood my position on rights for men, so I am happy to set the record straight.  I believe all men deserve to be treated in exactly the same way.  All of my writings here demonstrate that same commitment, I think you’ll find.


He’s going to be changing his name, of course, as a married man.  She just hasn’t yet decided what to change it to, that’s all.




Yup… I can hardly wait!  And yet I do.






The branding incident was a bit unfortunate – just goes to show the dangers of handling red-hot iron carelessly – but thankfully no one important was hurt.


See what I mean about equal rights?  Free healthcare, right here.  Males get free education too – lots of it.




Don’t worry: she won’t tell anyone where you are.


You know, I’ve often been struck


She’s actually communicating her feelings on several different levels here.  It’s a Mars/Venus thing – you don’t have to understand but you could at least try to feel her pain.



If you argue it might go on longer – and wouldn’t that be just awful?




Some of us are already having the cry, thanks.  Although oddly it’s the cuddle that usually brings them on in floods.




What to do, what to do… You might want to try playing safe. They won’t let you (and anyway, you’re not safe), but I expect you’ll want to try.





She’s being rather unfair here.  She often is: if you want my honest opinion, she’s a vicious and vindictive person with serious anger management issues.  Always was.  Anyway – congratulations on your special day!  I’m sure you’ll be very.. well, maybe you’ll both be…  anyway, congratulations, yeah?  You’re a lucky guy.  We all think so.







Tie me up and I’ll confess

 …a thousand ways that make you statuesque. (just more old music, nothing specifically femdom I’m afraid.  But it does feature Louise Wener and those lucky sleeperblokes, which is femdom enough for some).

 

 

Watch and learn – although it’s by no means certain you’ll ever get the chance to put it into practice.


 

 

Not often I feature maledom here, but I’m open-minded about it – I don’t mind maledoms, as long as they end up beaten, enslaved and crushed in body and spirit.

 

 

 

Whimper.




They are very concerned with fairness – and with unfairness too, obviously.




Well, as long as he’s cool about it I suppose you should be too.



 

 

Youngers and betters

 

Memo to self: stop using the phrase “there’s nothing worse than X” in front of SO.  She takes it as a personal challenge.



You’ll soon discover that a day with no whipping at all is a special day. Very special.

 

 

 

 

Don’t worry, they’re not having you castrated and lobotomised until after the marriage.  Just after: between the ceremony and the reception.  You can think of it as your wedding gift to them.

 

 

 

 

 

Poor old Simon – doesn’t get to see the sexy lingerie!  And to think she was worried you might be jealous of him.



Appendectomy: of course.  After all, that nurse would hardly have shaved his groin area this morning if it was his throat that was being operated on, now would she?  

 

Striking poses

As my SO points out: lots of women enjoy sex with their husbands, she prefers sex without her husband.  The difference is only a few letters but it’s a big deal for her, so who am I to argue?

 

 

Mmmm … a severe scolding, Mistress?

 

 

 

It’s going to be a special day for her boyfriends too.  And their mates.

 

 

 

Of course the OWK had safewords really.  In a variety of quite widely-spoken Central European languages, so there was really no excuse for ‘guests’ not knowing how to pronounce them perfectly.

 

Her kink is not your kink – are you going to make a selfish fuss?


And I’ll be (your sharp intake of breath)

 Mistress Lennox, of course… and that beardy bloke called Dave.


‘Ideas’ in the same sense that Pinterest sends me emails suggesting I check out ‘ideas’ about boots, corsets or traditional girls’ school uniforms.  And chickens, oddly enough.


Those vanilla passengers can be rather tiresome.  Fortunately one encounters fewer of them, these days.


I have a limited skill set, unfortunately.  And I’m rubbish at it.


Don’t worry – lots of bridegrooms feel a bit nervous on the big day.  None of the guests are likely to realise how well-founded your fears actually are.



It’s an arguable case, legally, or at least it would be were anyone in a position to argue about it.  Which they won’t be, obviously.



Talking about pain

 Not enough couples do that.

 

 

As you can see, she takes quite an old-fashioned approach to discipline.  Most wives these days just use the app.



 

 

She can put it with all the other things waiting for him in their honeymoon suite.



I hope she learns an important lesson about bullying.  Or a few new techniques, anyway.





How very tiresome.




Ironically enough, although they put on a remarkable burst of speed, when they reached Capri there’d been an unseasonable spring storm and the blossom was in tatters.  She took it in good part, though: silly to get upset over something like that.  There’s always next year.




Marital law

 

Just before he takes his real marriage vows.

 

 

 

Don’t worry: biting during sex play is considered vanilla these days, so no one at work is likely to bat an eye if you turn up with a few playful bite marks on your neck, slightly raggedy ears or a couple of missing fingers.  So just let her go with it.

 

 

 

My SO thinks electric shocks are funny too.  I’ve never really seen the humour in it myself, but maybe it’s one of those Mars/Venus things.

 

 

 

 

It’s always worth
buying things in bulk.  My friends at school bought me a lifetime’s
supply of condoms and I’m less than one third of the way through. 
Exactly one third, actually.

The decision-making in this marriage is shared.  Once she’s made a decision, she shares it with you.  Well… it’s best to know, isn’t it?



And a topical one for the Brits:



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