ball-kicking – Page 3 – Contemplating the divine

Girlish ferocity

I just have resting silly grumpy-face. When I don’t have resting screamy pleading-face, anyway.

It’s supposed to be quite effective in preventing premature baldness… or was that ‘laziness’? All good, either way – just ask Helen.

Of course, she might do that even if he doesn’t make her.

And don’t forget to wag that cute little rubber dildo-tail.

I remember my first, fumbling attempts at sexual intercourse! Embarrassingly bad, like most men I suppose. I can laugh about it now, along with the guests whenever my SO tells the story, but at the time it was quite humiliating, especially with all those other guys there. I suppose a second time needn’t be quite such a… a shall we say ‘cringe-inducing failure’ but as my SO likes to say, ‘why risk it?’

And now for something largely similar

Right… ten more years then. The terrible teens begin here. How terrible can they be? Let’s find out, shall we?

He should be thankful. Not for anything in particular – just generally, all the time.

Regrettably, he won’t be perfect for long. She breaks things.

It is a good one. Here’s another: what do you do if you see a blonde undressing, through an open window? Eight years hard labour! Do you get it? Maybe one day you will.

Look at the lovely lady on the right, there. Rightly proud of her work.

‘Something plausibly similar to male genitalia’ is the best some of us can hope for.

Looks like all those caning fantasies are going to come true.

Bad Pookie. Just imagine being close to thinking about disobeying her like that! On second thoughts, don’t imagine it… she wouldn’t approve.

If there was anything she could do to make you feel better, she’d do it – you know that, right?

Anyway, maybe some of the other patrons would like to skip the queue too.

Ooh – the tips of her shoes look just like the inside of my chastity belt! Maybe we could strike up a conversation, now I know we’ve something in common.

And, of course:

Unoriginal sins

Don’t worry: you’ll feel her pain

It probably wouldn’t say anything very interesting, to be honest. Mostly whiny pleading. They’re not missing anything.

Like many male teachers in girls’ secondary schools, he often finds himself being the teacher who has to deal with the bullies.

I understand that if you actually open them up, by breaking the flesh from whipping too hard for example, you can void the warranty. But it doesn’t sound like she’s done that, so it’s probably OK.

She’s not a pro-domme, anyway, because to the eternal howls of anguish from love-sick slaves, I believe Lady Sophia Black has retired.

Written submissions

There’s actually a funny story to how I came by that nickname. Just ask anyone.

Lots of men find it hard to navigate the unwriten rules of modern office etiquette, which is why it can be so useful to receive feedback that is frank, immediate and eye-wateringly painful when the inevitable occasional slip-ups occur.

Another word Auntie Kate can teach you is ‘sadist’ but that’s for another day.

For the grand finale they invite members of the audience to step up and join them.

Myself, I’m not too choosy about clothing – I just wear whatever happens to be locked onto me that morning, you know?

Cries of pain are music for her banquet

A quote, or nearly so, from George Eliot, who shamefully had to pretend to be a man to get published. What an embarassment that must be, for a woman. Do you suppose she had to make spelling mistakes, miss deadlines and generally dumb down in correspondence with her publisher, just to appear authetically male?

Still, the quotation is rather a lovely image, isn’t it? Here are some more.

Her impotence treatment works every time – it’s a remarkable medical breakthrough, actually.

She seems nice. What a shame you’re nothing special. Better luck in Somalia.

She’s such a sweet person, wouldn’t hurt a fly in real life. Still: she’ll flog him bloody and then piss on the wounds, because that’s the kind of professional she is. Then go and have dinner with Dave and maybe a cuddle before bed.

Castration manga is actually a great way to interest girls in comic books, because it’s using the medium to speak to issues that concern them as women, you know? Also: it’s just a lot of fun, obviously.

He was quite fat when they started training him. Still some way off the target weight of zero that they are aiming for, but he’ll get there. In fact, he’s going to lose a whole bunch of weight all in one go next Thursday: they just haven’t told him yet.

As specks of dust we’re universal

I love this song. It’s got nothing at all to do with femdom, except in the sense that obviously no male could ever write something so great (unless inspired by a muse, I suppose). So: SFW warning if you click the link, yeah?

Right. On with the poppycock.

Or don’t be brave. To be honest, Trudy doesn’t really mind either way.

Always a bit dull listening to someone describing their dream, isn’t it? Still: better humour her. Don’t want to be whipped.

I wish she didn’t have to as well. So why does she?

After a session with a domme I’d been seeing for a while, I asked what she really thought of me, but she just laughed and told me to fuck off and book a humiliation session. I guess she must have mis-heard.

She’s not really looking to discuss this, by the way. She’s just sharing how she feels – it’s a Mars/Venus thing, yeah guys? Just go with it.

Slavish obedience

A bit presumptuous, from someone I only met five minutes ago. What makes her so sure I won’t just wander off and never meet her again?

You might think that after this experience she’d become a pro-domme, but actually she’s fine with the escort business, as long as she can occasionally beat clients up.

Now here’s a professional lady more focused on the subculture’s needs!

Some of the sales team made the mistake of telling potential customers that they’d be physically punished if they didn’t meet their sales targets. 5% of customers did buy more, in sympathy, 75% just laughed it off as a joke but the remaining 20% immediately cancelled their orders. All women, oddly enough.

The run’s extended by three months, but after that it seems they’re likely to run out of convicted sex offenders. Of course, there are always more sex offenders being convicted – but strangely, the sexual crime rate fell by 75% soon after the show opened. Ironic, huh?

Thigh five

… which is obviously a made-up phrase. Oddly, though, there are many two-word phrases in the English language beginning with the word ‘thigh’ and every single one of them is erotic. Strange but true.

Unlike, say, the words ‘rancid’ or ‘viscous’, unless you’re really weird and we don’t like weirdos on this blog, thank you very much.


You can do anything*, but don’t wank on my black suede boots.

* No you can’t.

You might imagine that this young lady is headed for a stellar career as a professional dominatrix, but as things turned out she actually became the head of Ryanair’s Customer Complaints department. So there you go.

Dave’s need is greater than yours. Well.. his cock certainly is, anyway.

It’s OK as long as I keep my mind off all thoughts sexual

Ocasionally, when I have an idea for a caption, I’ll worry that one of the many, many other femdom caption sites on the Internet will already have done it. This one, not so much.

Beneath contempt

… but I’m working my way up and maybe one day.

Or both?

I think she’s going to bring a lot to the team.

Hmmm. That interview reminds me of something. Oh yes.

It’s great that she’s actually going to shoot me, because I’m terrible at pretending. If I wasn’t screaming in actual agony, it wouldn’t be convincing at all. Women – they think of everything, huh?

Don’t worry, it doesn’t control your brain or anything like that. It’s just a way of improving the feedback loop between disobedient thoughts and unpleasant consequences.

The record shows I took the blows

And did it Her way

Yum. Has it really been a year? How time flies.

No problem. I’ll just go and live out the remainder of my life nursing the ache at the core of my empty existence. Bye.

Actually, if you save up enough of your pocket money, maybe you could… I mean, that would be OK, right? About four months should do it, if you’re careful not to spend money on anything else.

Well, I think it’s outrageous. I mean, she wouldn’t wear a coat that had been made by killing and skinning a human being, would she?

Don’t forget to say gracias. Mucho, mucho gracias, Senora