What’s my fetish?

I have a wide range of sexual interests, as regular readers of this blog will know only too well.  But like many bloggers in the femdom community, I am obsessed with precise definitions of terms, so I spend ages worrying about whether what I like is “really” a fetish, and discussing that obsessively in lengthy blog posts.


So – I found an online dictionary that said that something is a fetish for you, if you cannot become aroused, or achieve sexual release without it.


And that’s all I needed.  I have a “Doing all my chores to her satisfaction, and not being too irritating” fetish.  There’s probably a latin name for it.




OWK Madame Sarka and a very rude word
Well I can’t tell you what it means.  I’m not even allowed to think – let alone write – that word in English.   Here, for goodness sake.



Pegged femdom oh my
Don’t worry, you’ll find quite quickly that the pain in your knees will make you forget all about the taste in your mouth.



How embarrassing for her.  I wonder what she’ll do?



Castrated to orgasm
It’s great when someone really enjoys their work.



She Hathaway with my heart
Yes.  Yes, that would be perfect.

…aaaand you think I’m sexy…

It seems that Google has changed its image search alogorithm, so it doesn’t show pornographic pictures in response to most searches.  Unless there’s a clear request for porn.

But “Contemplating the Divine” brings up lots of my captions…

…which can only mean Google doesn’t think my blog’s sexy!

Waaaah!

(Hurt sniffle)

I shall carry on, regardless.  As my SO likes to say, it’s a good thing I’m so stupid or I’d realise how unattractive I am.

Ms Haberman.  Lexx.  Try it if you haven’t.
 

Giddyup slave
It’s taken them almost four hours to get from her house in town.  Hope he’s enjoying it.
 

Ex wife future domme
Actually, the divorce was rather acrimonious.  But I’m sure she won’t want to bring up all those old rows now.  Not all at once.
 

Wait for release
Well, yes, I suppose she could shift it to another day, or quickly pull you off before you go out.  But it’s just such a fuss, don’t you think?  Easier all round just to leave it this month.  I’m sure you won’t miss it – Marie’s a super cook!
 

 

Anne teaches a lesson
It’s good when people can find personal satisfaction in their professional lives. In my job, for example, I’m completely useless and I’m always getting shouted at by people, some of whom are women.  Makes it all worthwhile.




Out with the old, in with the new

New year, new…well, more…of the same sort of really…captioned images of female domination!

Obviously.

Sigh.  Back to it.

Chastity made simple
My Significant Other reckons some people over-complicate chastity play.  You lock someone up – he’s in chastity.  Job done, and you can get on with your life.
 
 
Strippagram treatment
Actually, I think one of them has a Girl Guides first aid qualification.
 
 

The problem being, of course, that Madame Sarka likes the cooked meat arranged in a gentle curve.  And she’s not as lenient.
 

Independent thought is over-rated.  Just take the pill.
 

It’s best not to worry too much about what people think of you, I find.

New Year resolutions

To mark the passing of the old year, and the beginning of the new, I decided to ask all of the ladies who regularly appear on Contemplating the Divine to share their New Year resolutions with our ‘readers’.

Most of them just told me to fuck off and die, of course, but here are the contributions from those who did not.  Oh – and believe me, when these ladies resolve to do something, it does get done.

Apparently I’m going to have some New Year resolutions too, but She hasn’t told me what they are yet.  Quite exciting!

 
 
 
 

 

 
 
 

 

 
 
 

 

 
 
 
 
 
 

 

 
 
 

 

 
 

 

 
 
 
 

 

 
,,,and last but always first in my heart…

 

 

All about Eve

New Year’s Eve, that is.

My very best wishes to all my female readers, and let’s hope the new year brings nothing but misery, humiliation, pain and degradation to the others.  That way, everyone’s happy.




Don’t miss tomorrow’s extra, bumper, first-of-2013 edition of Contemplating the Divine!  It’s all about resolve…

Rewards and penalties

A silly humiliation story, written to amuse my Significant Other.  Names have been changed to protect…well, me.

Rewarded
Servitor reached out eagerly for the steaming coffee.
“That’ll be one forty-nine”, the young ‘barrista’ behind the counter said, brightly.  “Do you have a loyalty card?”

Servitor looked straight back into her eyes as he handed her the money.

“No, I don’t have a loyalty card but I do have a ridiculously small penis that I like to stroke until it squirts into my pants.”

The girl froze in the act of taking his money, carefully transferred it to the till and turned her whole body to face the next customer, without a word.

Servitor grabbed the coffee and almost ran from the coffee shop in horror, feeling the shocked and amused stares drilling into the back of his neck, his down-turned face burning with humiliation.  He walked rapidly down the street, slowing to a normal pace only when he was almost half a mile away from the scene of the catastrophe.

What had he said?  How was that possible?  He felt sick and shaky.  If he were still a  drinker, he told himself, this would be a double vodka moment.  As it was, he gratefully saw a Boots Chemists sign ahead and went in to buy some aspirin.

“Do you have a Boots advantage card?” the middle-aged lady at the check-out asked him.

“No.” he heard himself say, with growing horror.  “But I do like to take advantage of my little cock by wanking until it’s sore.”

This time he didn’t even pick up his purchase: as soon as the words were out of Servitor’s mouth, he was pushing past the stunned customers and heading straight for the door.

Out on the street, Servitor panicked.  Loyalty card?  As he thought that, the words “sweaty little cock” jumped into his brain.  Loyalty card. (‘tiny prick’).  Something about those  words, about saying loy-…the L word.  Or anything like it, remembering the Boots experience. (“Frequent flyer”? “Frequently wank myself silly”).  He mustn’t even think it.

Where could he shop?  He had to go places where they didn’t have a loya- a – a programme for rewarding customers.  There was a corner shop just ahead, and steeling his nerves, he went in and bought bread and a few tins of food.  He marched up to the counter, heart thumping.

“Four-fifty”, the man behind the counter said, not looking at him.  Servitor held out a fiver with shaking hands and clenched his teeth tight shut.  The shopkeeper pulled at the note, and looked up in confusion as Servitor’s fingers held it tight.

“Sorry” Servitor said, and released it.

He walked out in triumph.  No mention of…rebate programmes…and no problem. Well, he wouldn’t starve.

He couldn’t face the Tube, so he took a cab home, thinking furiously of all the things he normally bought and whether the shops selling them had…discount schemes.  It should be do-able, maybe it would wear off soon anyway, he thought wearily.

The cab pulled up outside his house and the driver drew the little window back.  “Do you need a receipt mate?” he called cheerily.

“No, I don’t need a receipt.” Servitor heard himself saying. “But I do need my naughty bottom spanked very hard for not buying Ms Sandra a Christmas present.”

***
In a different town, in a different county, Mistress Valerie was tidying her toy cupboard.  She picked up a box, rifled inside it and frowned.

“You haven’t been fiddling with my hypnotic suggestion tapes, have you?” She
called.

Ms Sandra leaned round the door.  “Me?” She replied, innocently.  “Why would I do that?”

In the bleak midwinter





It’s Christmas!  Get on with your chores!

The divine Ms Haberman.  Could you possibly want anything else for Christmas?  Could you?  Oh.  Well, you can’t.



Christmas chastity
Not that “we” get much say in the matter.

OK, rather a bleak caption for Christmas I suppose… but remember – it’s Christmas for him, too.  He just doesn’t know it.

Silenced femdom slave
You’ll have to apologise to your wife when you next see her, for suspecting her of such an evil plan.  Maybe in sign language.

Divine Anne
I have no idea who that is, but I hate him with a burning passionate envy that I can barely express.  Ahem.

The Rights of Man

They’re somewhat limited, around here, you’ll find.  But we like it that way.

Caned in public
Well, you’ll find anyway, as they’re due round for a drink later.
 

Keira spanks yet again
Hmmm.  Looks to me like one person’s doing all the work in this relationship.
 

A slaves life
And she’s got plenty of time to think of some too – she’s not due back until Tuesday.
 

Femdom fantasy
Should never have lent her that copy of 50 Shades…
 

She Hathaway with my heart
Maybe she can share her literary passions with him when they’re married.

I know when I’ve been beaten

and sometimes the neighbours do, too.

Keira hands over control
Actually, that whip she gave him is pretty take-charge too.  But it doesn’t hurt to make sure.  Well..I mean, it does hurt.  Obviously.
 

Bullwhip femdom sarcasm
A little light spanking?
 

Mean cheerleaders
Yeah, come on.  She’s right.  Sometimes you just have to trust people.  What’s the worst that can happen?  Hmm?  Oh – well apart from that, then.
 

Other world kingdom maid or was anyway
Her very first maid-boy!  Bless.
 

Good hard thrashing dammit
Business.  It’s all about relationships.  This particular relationship is female-led and abusive.  Welcome to the team. Worm.

I will feel a glow just thinking of you…

…and the way it felt, last night.  Thank you, Ma’am.



You might want to refer back to my series: Seven secrets of a happy marriageUrgently.
 
 
Serving Keira
Men, eh?  Only interested in one thing, and –  excuse me?  Down here?  There’s a caption too, and I..  Hello?  Oh never mind, I know when there’s something more interesting to look at.
 
 




Spanked by Jessica Rabbit oh my
I’m not one of those men who won’t cry in front of women.  Just the opposite, actually.
 

Woah!  Might be time for a safeword, there.
 

If you have any comments on this captioned image, I’ll be in the homeless refuge round the corner, OK?
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