murder – Page 9 – Contemplating the divine

Nonsensual BDSM

Of course, it’s more effective to kill mens’ lib off with kindness and reasoned argument. But not nearly as much fun.

I suppose a blowjob is out of the question? You might as well ask… it couldn’t hurt.

Thank goodness she gave you a safeword. OK, she’s gagged you and also forgotten it. But I think that demonstrates her commitment to responsible play.

Oh, nobody still beats her own husband in this day and age do they?

Goodness, what a long one, as no one in the history of the planet has ever said to me.

Pertinent

I always try to be.

You could try combining the two?

She should really increase your housekeeping allowance, you know. I think you should take a stand on this. Be a man, you know?

Just a joke, OK? If you’re religious at all, please be reassured that I have the utmost respect for all religions. I uphold your right to worship your god, whatever you call Her.

She’s really making an effort to satisfy your fetish here.

Hmm. Looks like they didn’t read my email about my likes and dislikes in session. The corset is supposed to stay on. Plus, I’m pretty sure I didn’t request the whole plastic sheeting, knives and blood thing. I’ll have to have a word.

My company was charming

Well, what am I supposed to do with the other 38 seconds, then?

Thank goodness she’s looking out for me.

Don’t try to argue or plead your way out of it – it’s one of those Mars/Venus things, you know? She’s got some emotional issues that need to be worked out and until Gerald arrives, you’re the only one she can turn to.

In the femdom community, athlete’s foot is considered an STD.

You’ll notice she hasn’t put the surfboard on the fire yet. Another Mars/Venus moment, yeah? Any ideas why ? Hmm? No? Sigh…because she’s waiting to see if you’ll do it yourself without being specifically asked, you unfeeling brute. Obviously, this relationship is going to need a lot of work.

Miss-judged

I’ve been a very bad wolf.

Actually, there’s a funny story about this one. It turned out there were no fewer than three Miguels on the beach! So as you can imagine things got a little embarassing – and of course we soon ran out of condoms and beer, so I had to run back to the shop. Still, it all worked out OK in the end.

You can cary an orgasm donor card, you know: ‘I want to help someone come when I die’? Not that it really makes much difference, but prior consent is a thing with some people.

I think he’s looking at her funny now. Some men never learn, huh?

And the evening, and the next day too, if need be. One wrist can outlast a great many bottoms, as any schoolmistress will attest.

She’s pure as New York snow

and if you’re lucky I expect she’ll tease you.

I expect she was just joking. Like the castration stuff – you shouldn’t take her too seriously when she says things like that.

Well, OK, as long as I don’t have to try to be brave.

So she should.

It worked on the first seven males she encountered. Not the brightest, human males, are they?

Two lonely people… why not give it a go? What’s the worst that can happen?

Violence is golden

Actually, I understand a day is like a whole beetle year. So in beetle years, you’ve got, what… 6 minutes left, maybe longer? And it’s not like you’ll be dying all in one go, anyway.

I don’t have any secret embarassing thoughts about women. They’re all laid out here, for all to see,

A little food goes a long way in the OWK.

Cherishing’s very important. She’s going to insist on lots of that.

It’s silly to be afraid of the sea, anyway. You know, you can drown in just a few inches of water, right? Especially with handcuffs on. My SO told me that once and likes to remind me of it from time to time.

Unmancipation

When I first started dating my SO, I’d often finish before She had a chance to come, but now things are more under control She typically has oh… two, three…maybe even four hundred orgasms before that happens.

It’s always embarassing when men have to go to what’s basically a girls’ night out, isn’t it? You kind of stand around awkwardly, watching the wives roaring with laughter while you make polite converation about ironing tips and suchlike. Women are just better at social events… it’s because they’ve got more empathy.

Life will be a lot simpler. You can do as she says or starve.

Big decision. Don’t pressure her, OK?

I’m down on my hands and knees. Point me to the broken glass.

Hard-core scorn

Anyway, she can’t chat long. She’s just off to the pet shop. Wants to buy a couple of dogs, apparently.

It’ll be good when you’re married and you can just just be yourself.

I’m gender non-binary. Well.. gender fractional, anyway. About 1/7, my SO reckons.

Forgetfulness?

It’s good to know a domme with a really creative imagination.

Unfair maidens

Or even better news. Depending on what your kink is.

She’s right (she always is) – we men should be able to stand up for ourselves. Being able to sit down without wincing would be nice, too.

He still has two more wishes, of course. If only the ladies could understand his squeaking… I wonder what they would be?

Of course.

They have a very Special Relationship.

Femdommish

Fortunately, the best man’s speech wasn’t as embarassing as these things sometimes are. I guess it’s hard to give a funny speech, when the bride’s sucking you off.

My wife likes to try adventurous sex, in all sorts of different public places. It’s pretty exciting for me, too, when she comes home to tell me all about it.

Well, looks like you won’t be the only man on the gender studies course!

She’s really good at ‘bitter, revengeful ex-girlfriend’ scenes too. But she does charge extra.

I think that’s quite an important point. I mean, just because she tortures unwilling victims to death, that doesn’t mean that’s the only thing you can say about her, you know? She’s a complete human being into lots of different stuff – don’t judge her, OK?