Motivational speech

He’ll have a very clear understanding of who she is by the end of the session.
Anyway, even if people did recognise you, no one’s going to say anything. That’s the nice thing about the Internet: it’s such a trustworthy, forgiving place.
Oh, I’m sure things will improve, she just needs to keep trying. And that’s exactly what she’s planning to do. Anyway, Mario’s waiting so off you go.
I think it’s wonderful that his wife isn’t giving up on him and walking away, but some people are just amazing, aren’t they? I hope she’s finding some time for herself, at least.
As a professional, she can keep the personal clearly separate. For instance, the fact that she finds you contemptible is in no way going to diminish the zeal with which she’ll fight your corner in court. Just don’t expect miracles, yeah?
Nothing worse than a micro-manager, is there? Unless it’s a sadistic micro-manager holding a whip, I suppose.

Queen for ever, ceasing never

Following yonder star.

…and best to put the bowl outside in the garden when it’s getting towards the end of the week, as you wouldn’t want that smell in the house.
Sometimes an enthusiastic amateur can be better than a pro.
Don’t worry: they don’t mean you.
When the ceremony’s over, and they’re leaving the church, it’s traditional to have him thrown from the steeple – and any bridesmaids who want to catch him can keep him.
Many people are opposed to the idea of arbitary power being exercised by unelected young ladies, but I really find it hard to understand why.
Live for the moment, as they say.

Emotional stupidity

In case you’re wondering why I am posting on a Thursday instead of the usual Friday, the answer is ‘rank incompetence – the idiot’s not even able to read a calendar properly, for goodness’ sake!’.

They say great art is 90% perspiration.
She’s a specialist in pain management.
Nice clean shoes – good job! Now, let’s have that chat.
Thank goodness they reminded him – how embarassing it would have been to have had to admit he’d forgotten the anniversay again.
Surprisingly unsurprisingly “People for the Ethical Treatment of Paypigs” just isn’t a thing.
She seems nice. My SO taught me the right way to do laundry by just whipping me without explanation every time it wasn’t right. We got there, but it was a lot of work for her, poor thing.

A feminine touch

Well… doesn’t hurt to ask, does it?
Arguably it should be your father-in-law’s job, but apparently now he’s getting on a bit, his wife’s decided she wants to make sure that every moment of his remaining time with her is spent restrained and in agony, so they could use the help.
Don’t worry, I’m sure the shop assistant will be very understanding. In my experience, they understand perfectly.
He’s certainly getting his money’s worth.
The lovely Mistress Sidonia, of course. An inspiration to everyone who has to do their femdom on a budget: she must have one of the best-equipped facilities in the world but she still knows the value of a wire coat-hanger in really hard-core femdom play.
It’s silly to be squeamsih about a little thing like murdering a male, but some girls are like that.

Uncomfortable fictions

Just pray she’s using the black rubber end, not the golden shiny ball – now that really hurts.
It can take a while, getting used to inlaws’ family traditions. Just go with it – the important thing is your forthcoming marriage, after all. That’s for life.
That’s why you don’t often see snip-lit set out as a separate category at bookshops, but someone once calculated that over 25% of new fiction sold to women features some kind of removal of male genitalia, so it’s a very important theme.
But her hippocratic oath is secure: she’s not harming him; it’s more in the nature of long-overdue radical treatment to improve matters. Anyway, it’s a debatable point wherther the Oath even applies to males – after all, doctors eliminate bacteria and viruses by the millions and men aren’t much different.
I am actually quite good at maths, and once managed to really irritate a domme who had set up a school scene based on arithmetic tests. Furtunately, it turns out that you can be tawsed and caned almost regardless of aptitude, so the session turned out well.
Anyway, she is a queen, so why not have a chair in which to be one? Honestly, journos get hung up on the silliest things.

Degraded images

She’s going to take her time – no rush, is there?
Oh well, it’ll make a change from the chewing gum those big-city dommes pick up.
I must say, thiose bridesmaids are taking their duties very seriously. At my wedding, they were only there for the ceremony – although my best man stayed around for quite a while, now I come to think of it.
I used to think my SO was mixing up her two remotes, but it turns out she just set the TV control up to give me an electric shock every time she changes the channel or adjusts the volume.
It’s amazing the things medical science has come up with these days. You know, back in medieval times dommes engaged in medical play would put leeches up their clients’ bottoms? We’ve come a long way.

This lovely lady is Maitresse Blanche, based just outside Paris, whose medical skills have from time to time been employed in trying to sort out the many, many things that are wrong with Servitor.

Ah… lesbian femsubs. Many male submissives fantasise about their mistresses taking on a pretty little submissive but the reality is less ‘threesome’ but more doing a lot of housework around a rather giggly ‘twosome’, twice as much laundry and fewer ‘onesomes’ than ever. Not that I’m bitter – or complaining, obviously.

Denying agency

This is a concept from ethical philiosophy, apparently, that involves treating someone as a child, unable to make decisions for themselves. I must say, it sounds rather nice, but I myself have never specifically been denied agency, because I have never dared ask for it.

On we go.

One of the secrets of a happy marriage: hinted at right there. It’s not that there will never be arguments – obviously all couples have them – just that they be treated as ‘tantrums’.
She allows her boys an average of 10 orgasms a year – so this treatment doesn’t happen very often.
That’s the only downside of castration: it can lead to a loss of important male functions, such as feeling unbearable pain.
Don’t worry: if you’re not enjoying it, just tell her, OK? She likes to know.
Pretentious? Ich?
It can be quite hard to break ingrained habits, so don’t worry if you don’t manage it on your own. Once you’re married, she can help – the two of you are a team from now on, after all.

Feminine tuition

Men can learn a lot from women, especially if they are willing to step out of their comfort zones and bend over to learn something new.

Certainly not heartless – as a matter of fact she applies herself to her work with full-hearted passion, as you might discover.
I started experiencing periods of impotence soon after meeting my SO – apparently it happens to a lot of men. Pleading sometimes helps.
It’s a long-standing tradition so I hope you’ll approach it – and her – with due respect.
OK, that’s cleared that up. Still doesn’t explain why they all call you ‘Seaman’ though, as that rank hasn’t been used in almost a century.
To remember him, she kept a little spiked penis ring she’d had made for him with the words “Mistress Anne is my goddess not a sex fantasy” engraved around it, but she had to put it away in a drawer as it kept making her feel sad.

Femaleficient

A mirror ought to do it.
Don’t worry, she doesn’t object to having your own taste in music, she just won’t allow you to play any of it.
Obviously. Fortunately they have an excellent pain management programme.
Seems a little unfair, as he was paying Supreme Mistress Katharine three times the usual rate already. The lady doing the talking only does vanilla tricks, not femdom, just in case you were thinking of visiting. Says she just doesn’t have the femdom skills, which on the face of it appears to me not to be true, but who am I to argue either with her assertions or her maths?
Don’t let on you’ve never actually done this before. This could be the beginning of a beautiful holiday friendship – or perhaps a rather disgusting but highly practical one, anyway.

Sensual displeasure

My SO called me by the wrong name once… it was a bit difficult: I had to go through all the trouble of changing it legally, so I didn’t have to tell her she was wrong (that can be quite painful), then she remembered and I had to change it back again! Unlike ‘Jerry’ or whatever his name is, I have an entirely unmemorable cock – indeed, women often don’t notice it at all – so that doesn’t help as an aide-memoire. Still, at least I don’t call it ‘sledgehammer’… how embarrassing for him.
Oddly enough, shortly after the Chairman’s ‘business trip’ to the Czech Republic, almost all staff in his company got a pay rise. Women employees did particularly well, taking the female/male pay ratio from 74% to 108%.
Hmm… let’s try. Nope, all good.
Of course, they never forget the Hippocratic oath: first, do no harm, at least not to anyone who doesn’t deserve it or unless you really want to, or it would be funny or something.
There are some very weird fetishes out there. Aren’t you glad you’re normal? I know I am.
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