It’s the song of a merrymaid, peerly proud

Who loved a lord and who laughed aloud
At the moan of the merryman, moping mum
Whose soul was sad and whose glance was glum
Who sipped no sup and who craved no crumb
As he sighed for the love of a la-dy.

I used to wonder how girls could spend so long washing their hair. Then I found out.
Air stewardesses often like to have a sub waiting for them on arrival. After a long flight, they really want someone else serving them drinks and food – and if there’ve been any rude, arrogant passengers on the flight it’s still more important to have access to someone on whom to let off a bit of steam.
There are also consequences for remaining silent when she’s asked something, as well as for lying. So it’s all covered, really.
I hope this jokey little caption doesn’t contribute to that hurtful ‘castrating lesbian’ stereotype. Actually, survey data show that lesbians are, if anything, slightly less enthusiastic about castrating males than are heterosexual women, although there’s only a few percentage points in it.
They seem well-equipped.
Ooh… I hate job interviews. Like, I went to one where the interviewer asked me how I’d react to being slapped across the face and she didn’t even let me finish my answer! I did get the job, as it happens, but frankly that turned out to be a mixed blessing.

Fans of the ‘strict governess’ style of femdom might be interested in skipping to exactly 49 minutes into this 1970s British movie (NB, Russian site if you worry about such things), to reach the section which is about Theresa Berkley, of whipping horse fame. The movie is mostly in that 1970s British sex comedy style (oo-err, Missus, gwarn show us yer knockers!) but this bit is, I think, done quite well as it features the slow scolding build-up and anticipation (a theme I tried to convey in one of my few serious pieces: Waiting). Weirdly enough, although most of the film is knockabout farce, towards the end it takes on the tone of a public information film and features the then living, famous and very serious dominatrix, Monique van Cleef, in a short bit starting at 1:15.45. The 1970s were odd. But then, so are we, aren’t we? Extra trivia: the narrator is Charles Gray, narrator of Rocky Horror (where was his neck?) as well as being the best Blofeld, and Mrs Berkley is Carmen Silvera, who later dominated René in Allo Allo.

29 thoughts on “It’s the song of a merrymaid, peerly proud”

  1. #4. If truth be told, I think quite a few straight married women would like their husbands castrated. Face it!! Fewer Lesbian women are married to a straight man, so less odds of them needing to castrate.
    However the wife may need to engage in a lesbian affair in order to get hospital lady to agree to husband’s castration. What women will do to get husbands castrated is amazing. The eunuchs don’t roam and are domestically inclined. Beautiful.

    1. Forgot to add
      All is not lost. There are alternative sex options for the lady.

        1. Of course the usual: tongue, fingers, male dildo, and making him hard but unable to cum with viagra. You will enjoy that he will focus only on your pleasure, not his. But the unleaded female libido that comes from taking his manhood, will make you so wet that you’ll orgasm often without even taking your clothes off. Powerful and fun.

  2. “It’s the song of a merrymaid, peerly proud…”

    You Brits really should learn how to speak English. I never understood that damn tune.

    1. Actually, there’s a rather more apposite quote from the Y of the G, Tom: “Aye, I have a pretty wit – a light, airy, joysome wit, spiced with anecdotes of prison cells and the torture chamber.”

      I have only a couple of times visited dommes in the USA, incidentally, but the last time I did I was smilingly told by my Mistress on arrival that their telephone receptionist had been geeking out about my cute British accent ever since I’d phoned. So there.



      1. I don’t know much about accents, However, a lass, señorita, geisha or a woman all speak the same body language. We men just have to get better at reading it. I’ve been in trouble many times for not understanding it.

        1. They do, Alberto. Fortunately, some of the body language is easy enough to understand – whether she’s brandishing ein Peitsche, un fouet, un látigo or just a good old-fashioned British whip, the message is usually much the same.

          Best wishes


      2. Very nice. Usually Americans are quite impressed by the RP accent, but it takes forever to learn the dialect.

  3. Ah ok.
    I don’t understood you because I usually would not think in them as alternatives, as I prefer them to penises.
    A penis is totally useless for sex

  4. You are quite welcome, Maria.
    Men with balls are obsessed with sex all the time. An alternative for you is a eunuch. You are free from the tyranny of the penis. The eunuch is focused on companionship, emotional relationship, affection, and fun; not on penis in pussy.
    Some eunuchs live together with lesbians because she feels safe to walk around naked without him leering at her.

      1. Oh MARIA !!!
        You love to arouse a man so that he’s insane with desire for you. You enjoy watching him twist, leak, and suffer. Then you delight in his going crazy with being denied because of a chastity belt. Sometimes you relish giving additional punishment.
        When balls meet the pussy, the pussy always wins big.

  5. 1st caption: Must be nice to have a boy that will help his mistress take care of her hair, spanked ass and all mind you.

    Last caption: Well, my lady, I’d have to get creative in relieving your tension quicker. My tongue may not suffice. But my fat cock might do the trick. So you yank my pants down, toss me on the desk and fuck me roughly.

    *few minutes later, she’s in her conference call, while her boy is in the corner, his whimpering moans muffled by the gag in his mouth from being raped silly by his boss. She seems focused and relaxed, so it was a good suggestion on his part.*

    1. And of course you can also use the opposite. Something that makes them unable to get a hard on

    1. Thank you, oddmn. (‘Odd man’? Most men are odd, if you think about it. Most men who read this blog certainly are, anyway.)

      Best wishes


    1. I certainly will, thank you Mr Spambot. This blog has slightly different enthusiasms when it comes to ‘motivating others’ than the majority of the human race, but if any opportunity arises for reviewing or complaining about Gluco Relief, I’ll be sure to feature it here, probably with some kind of electric shock anal probe torture too, just to spice things up.

      Keep up the great work – it’s the random, machine-generated comments from spambots like yourself that make this blog worth writing.


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