It Came From Outer Space

And this is how the message ran…

She should put him in the stocks. ‘Cos the sonic doesn’t work on wood.

 

I believe there are still traces from which civilisation could be reconstructed, under the guidance of the Galactic Community.
I think you’re about to experience their rigorous clinical testing procedures personally
I would just like to point out that as an arachnophobe, I did not at all enjoy searching Google images for the picture on the right hand side in the background there.  I suffered for my art.  Now it’s your tur – oh, I did that one already, didn’t I?
I don’t really understand how anyone can be an atheist, in a world that contains Arianna Grande.   
 
What’s that you say, blog ‘reader’?  You don’t think this one fits in with the overall science fiction theme of today’s post?  Oh yes, it does.  You see: this is your future.

 

Enthralled

What a lovely word.  I am her thrall.


Happiest day of your life!  And don’t you forget it, you ungrateful little bastard, or she’ll give you something to be unhappy about!

 

It’s not just convicted sexists, either.  Carry the donor card, help someone to look fabulous after your death.










I’ve never liked spiders. Bitter acrid flavour and the legs get stuck between your teeth.










Looks fun.  And they give you a little souvenir bag of sugar at the end of the month.  Give it to your domme, the next time you book a normal session and thank your lucky stars it’s just fantasy play.










He found her through a card she’d put up in the local telegraphy office.


Heaven-sent

… and very nice too*




All the ways I could be a better husband?  Wow.  I think I’m going to need two days locked in the stocks, at least.



What a lot of fuss, about a routine operation.  You’d think I was the first person whose tonsils she’d removed.  I… hang on… didn’t I have my tonsils out when I was a teenager? 
Oh, don’t worry: I’ll keep looking. I might cry a little, if that’s OK.

She insists on her tea being just the way she likes it. Also the ironing, bed corners, washing up, bookshelves, underwear drawer, bath, breakfast, ornaments, cushions, carpets, gin & tonic, shoes, lawn, floor tiles, nail polish, ….
The splendidly-named Miss Hunter, on whose wall I would love to end up as a trophy.







Many dommes find the things we submissives do disgusting.  That’s why they so enjoy hitting us.





* but if anyone happens to be able to locate the scene in the British sitcom Game On (rather a lovely ‘situation’: sad male failures share flat with goddess) in which Samantha Janus rushes around putting her make-up on to this song, I’d be most grateful.

Dark-hearted commentary

They say absence makes the heart grow fonder.  And so do hunger, cold, discomfort and terror.


It’s actually the sign of a really considerate, thoughful guy not to protest when his date decides to fuck someone else whose more attractive.  Sweet guys like that are the ones that the really hot girls all want to settle down with, eventually. I’m told.
They taste much the same.  Don’t wriggle quite as much while you’re waiting for permission to chew, that’s the only real difference, I find.

He has ambitions to be a Junior Housemaid’s assistant, but I suspect that’s beyond his reach.  Still, one can dream.

If it’s sunny, he’d better wear a hat. Fortunately he has lots of hats: it’s almost the only kind of present he ever gets.*  Everyone seems to think it’s such an original gift idea… it would be heartless to tell them – and despite everything, he’s not a bitter man.

* Thank you Iain M Banks, Use of Weapons.

Our youngers and betters

I suppose it never hurts to go through things again, just to make sure.  Well… I don’t mean it never actually hurts – obviously it does hurt – I just mean…. oh , you know.




The longer it goes on, the longer his pleasureable anticipation, I suppose.
I wonder what she has planned for the evening.  For you, that is.
Aww… is there a little furry… hairy, leggy, fangy.. friend in there with you? Or several.
You, by contrast, can easily go quite badly wrong.  But you’ll know when you do.


May the Lady make us truly thankful

‘Squeakity’ indeed!  I’d like to point out that I’m actually speaking perfectly normally, just in a very high pitch and with a lot of hysterical shrieking and pleading.

My SO found out once that I’d taken out a book on lock-picking.  She over-reacted completely – as usual! – and after a long and sometimes difficult evening ‘discussing’ it, I had to take it back the very next day.  The librarian was quite pleased: she said there was a long waiting list for it.  All men.

I’ve occasionally wondered what I’d do with all the money, if I won the lottery. I suppose if it ever actually happened, she’d tell me soon enough, though.

It’s perfectly normal. Don’t worry about a thing: you have a long life ahead of you.
She always finds it quite upsetting when this happens.  She’s actually a very nice person – I don’t know why she stays with him.




Annhilatrices

You know the ‘trix’ ending is almost the only example I can think of where femdom culture ‘dominates’ the mainstream. In principle, one can speak of an editrix, adminstratrix or investigatrix, but it’s only going to conjure up an image of a lady in leather with a whip. As most things do for me, to be honest, but I’m talking about normal people.


Incidentally, is a female alligator an alligatrix?  

Incineratrix
 This particular incineratrix is the wonderful Goddess Sophia, who has occasionally been unlucky enough to have raw untreated Servitor spilling out across her dungeon floor, but she always managed to get it under control before too long.  A powerful and creative lady.
She’s trying to transform the harsh, uncaring image of the findomme business. Although not too much, obviously, or what would be the point of it?

 

The ball gag is an essential element in this style of play, to make sure the little horrors don’t go crawling in where they’re not wanted.  And to prevent him screaming out his safeword, which ironically enough in this case is ‘arachnophobia’.  What’s that you’re asking?  ‘What about his nostrils’? Well, don’t be silly – that would block his breathing passages, wouldn’t it? Honestly, how many times must I remind everyone: safety first!  That’s rules 1, 2 and 3 in BDSM, yeah?  That’s why she’s using the non-poisonous kind, too, see?

Seems a bit soft-hearted to me.  I mean, 6/7 of his bottom won’t be beaten at all, most days.  I thought she’d take a harder line, to be honest.



Of course, if anyone really hates it, she doesn’t just let them suffer in silence.  Quite the contrary, actually.


Senseful brutality


Well.. someone might mind, actually.  But no one who matters.








Goodness, what a large one.  As no woman has ever said to me, in my entire life. More seriously, though, I really, really like this caption. If you don’t like this one then you are probably ‘reading’ the wrong femdom blog, because as far as I’m concerned, this is as good as it gets (sorry).


Actually, I stopped complaining to Mum when I realised she was always going to take my sister’s side.  And obviously there was no point complaining to Dad – he tried to stick up for me once, and we both got a spanking for his trouble.

 

Looking?  Looking where?








Actually, I really like this one too…

Heels over head in love

Like many submissive men, I pay not to have sex. 


At school, once, this boy and I were talking about some girl and he said “I’d like to get in her knickers!”  So when, a few weeks later, after a midnight excursion, I was able to tell him I was in her knickers, I thought he’d be jealous.  But he wasn’t, oddly enough. It was just a misunderstanding.  How we laughed. The whole class laughed, if I remember rightly.

Benji is actually the Honourable Sir Benjamin Kettleworth-Harcourt, FRCS, but of course he can neither remember nor pronounce that.









Married couples should talk about their interests more.









How does she know I’m scrumptious?  I didn’t detect a French accent, there.