Category: insects

It gives me a sense of enormous well-being

Know what I mean?  Warning: vanilla video after link that has nothing to do with femdom and is thoroughly safe for work. Do not click if that sort of thing offends you.




And they say sex offenders have nothing to contribute to society!







… and don’t even think about the matinee on Saturday…







It’s particularly cheap for fit young men, if they let her do it without any anaesthetic.






When I was a teenager I used to have this dread that girls would be turned off by my very small penis and would refuse to have sex with me.  Silly really, now I look back on it.  The very first girl I ever went out with explained that penis size is just irrelevant – for someone with a face as ugly as mine and such an tedious personality.  So that was a relief.







It’s completely irrational to be scared of spiders. Spiders can’t really hurt you*. Girls, yes: they can hurt you**.  Be scared of girls.  But not spiders.

*    Except in Australia
**  Especially in Australia.

Slap me on the patio

I’ll take it now.  


There must be lots of things you can do to take your mind off sex.  Do some laundry maybe… or watch TV.  The women’s tennis final is on, I understand.  That should be exciting.  Or beach volleyball.  Anyway, it’s only for a few weeks, right?









My SO can be quite hard to please.  I found it a bit dispiriting at first but then I learned about this technique for lowering the expectations you set yourself?  So now I just aim for ‘Not totally furious with me’ and I hit that at least two days out of three, so that’s pretty good.

Unlike some human women, though, they won’t insist on going again while you’re still completely drained from the last time.


I took a personality test once.  Apparently I don’t have one.

Don’t worry, she’s obviously not going to drain you to an empty husk all in one go. Look at that figure – she probably limits herself to a couple of pints of blood a day.  You might even last a week.






Merciless heavens


But don’t forget your manners: introduce her to your workmates too, as otherwise they’ll feel awkward.




Don’t worry, she’ll give you something later to wash away the nasty taste.



Better than those guys who accidentally press the button when the camera’s pointing downward and take pictures of their dicks.

Never liked blindfolds or hoods… this is why.


Not too big, not too small.


Then someone falls in love… and someone’s beaten up

Actually, those things happened the other way around, but still… best day of my life.


No, it’s not medical malpractice.  His daughters, as the responsible carers, have to approve any unusual ‘treatments’ he receives.  And they have done.

That reminds me: you know those novelty jelly beans, where some taste awful?  Modelled on Harry Potter, obviously.  Well, I tried one that was supposed to be slug flavour the other day, and do you know, it was nothing like it?  How can they get away with stuff like that?
It wasn’t me.  I never.
Actually, there probably are some other things that would work.  She just hasn’t tried them all yet.

I thought the air hostesses were supposed to look after unaccompanied males until they’ve got through Immigration? 




Violence is golden

Actually, I understand a day is like a whole beetle year.  So in beetle years, you’ve got, what… 6 minutes left, maybe longer?  And it’s not like you’ll be dying all in one go, anyway.
I don’t have any secret embarassing thoughts about women. They’re all laid out here, for all to see,

A little food goes a long way in the OWK.
Cherishing’s very important.  She’s going to insist on lots of that.







It’s silly to be afraid of the sea, anyway.  You know, you can drown in just a few inches of water, right?  Especially with handcuffs on.  My SO told me that once and likes to remind me of it from time to time. 

Corrigible







And if you don‘t think so… well, that just proves her point, doesn’t it?







Time for some firmer measures here too.







I have no idea what that means.  I don’t even speak Swiss – or Austrian or whatever.







I paid a prostitute for a ‘girlfriend experience’ once.  She took out an injunction and banned me from being within half a mile of her.  I am allowed to visit her flat once a month to make the payments, though.









Yes.  Yes it is.


Love is a danger of a different kind

It’s guilt edged, glamorous and sleek by design; you know it’s jealous by nature,
false and unkind.

Cuts and more cuts!  What do I pay my taxes for, I’d like to know?  Well… OK, I don’t actually pay taxes because I just get £5 a week pocket money.  But my wife pays taxes on my income, so I think this is just disgraceful.

That’s a rhetorical question.  No need to provide reasons in response.
Let’s find out.
Lose coffee privileges??  Ooh – hard limit!  Red, Mistress, red!

Which is quite often, obviously.

Femalevolent



Let’s hope she does want to treat him nicely.







Any particular flavour?







I think Hugh should stand up to them. I mean, is he a man or a mouse?







It would probably be OK to use any one of the Approved Slave Apology Phrases # 23 – 38 in reply.  Or several, even.







Well, that’s thoughtful.  Just what I needed.

By the way, I’ve been keeping this quiet partly because I don’t want him closed down, but there’s a chap with an account on archive.org
who must own an industrial-quality scanner, who appears to be
digitising what looks to be a large lifetime collection of (mainly
British) material relating to… well, our interests.  The vast majority
of it is fem sub but even if only 5% of it is FD, the sheer volume he
is posting there makes it rather significant in itself.  I make no
judgments on the copyright issues, let alone the rather more serious
violation of this blog’s code involved in publishing material in which men oppress
women (they’re only lengthening the charge sheet against them, for when
we finally achieve the righteous smack of firm government) but I leave
it to you to decide. 

Multidisciplinary

Men and their gadgets.  You can give him just as unpleasant a night with some good old-fashioned rope, a cold dripping shower and some nipple clamps.  Why does everything have to be so hi tech?

Regular readers will have gathered by now that this is a very, very hard limit for me.  I’m careful never to tell my SO, though, so it’s just a secret between you, dear Internet, and me.

Sounds like their sex life is about to improve.  Well, hers is.  His doesn’t sound like it’s worth keeping, really.

That is a lot simpler. Like her approach to marital arguments: also very simple indeed.

I am actually very sensitive to gender issues in the workplace.  Painfully sensitive, even.  When women are treated disrespectfully I feel physically bruised: sometimes immediately, sometimes a while later.


Sex and violence…

Sex and violence, sex and violence
goes together like a gag and silence…




Fortunately for us, we can only see her front in this picture, so obviously there’s no inappropriate leering from our side.

She’s got a funny story about how he actually proposed – just wait.

Bondage and arachnophobia… quite a stimulating combination, I think.

The lovely Idda Van Munster who will be featured here again, believe me.



…and just to annoy Declan again:

       
Can I stake a claim for the first use of the word ‘contemporaneous’ in a femdom porn blog, please? *  



* Don’t worry – we’re back to normal service after Friday’s maledom special and we are no longer expecting male dominant readers.  So it’s OK to use big complicated words and subtle(ish) humour.  Yay!